Epiphany

Now, I'm not saying some extra-terrestial came to me and gave me a good hiding. Though I'm pretty sure that'll be what I get if indeed any one of them were to visit me. Yes, I haven't been a good boy. Why do you think I get no love during Christmas? (Because you don't celebrate it you dungu!) Oops.

So what did happen?

Well, in an effort to understand my chances as well as improve my odds in one of my recent pursuits of the fairer sex (Ok, I can't be in denial all the time, right? :p Though worry not, by the time I write this I'm back to being me..haha) I decided to speak to one long time friend and 'master of sweeping feets of the ground'. In our conversation he made light to me something that, in truth, is blatantly obvious. But you know how at times you just need to be told what you already know? It's an intricate and delicate timing and more often than not the timing is off. However, this time around the same old tune struck a very loud chord and voila! Eyes opened.

You see, a very obvious explanation to why I fail to attract any female of my liking is that I obviously go for the uncommon ones. However, despite my higher/different (I'd like to say lower, but then again, who am I kidding?) expectations, I have nothing to offer. How my friend put it; I am not good looking (to say I'm average looking would be a bonus but that doesn't help either), I am not rich nor aspire to be (and won't ever be, haha!), I am not intelligent to an extent it radiates around me (you know like how really smart people really smarten people kind of thing..), I'm not funny (Ok, as much as I disagree on this point, as I do believe I am, until I realise the only person laughing at my jokes are myself and my family. That basically means I AM NOT FUNNY..), I'm not good in bed (well, no one really knows that yet, but.....Well, no one will probably even know...haha!) and I have nothing exceptional/impressive to attract the uncommon types.

So in order words, I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH. While I don't feel as though I was stabbed a thousands times over when that dawn on me, it did hurt. In addition, my lack of any ambition basically means that neither of those traits above would be enhanced in the furthest of future.

Lastly, all the things I do now can only be enjoyed by myself. I have no activities that require another person to participate to make it fun.

With all the inputs to the formula the resulting end product is......I am doomed alone.

Oh well, that doesn't even surprises me or anyone else I'd think.

So..........You don't call it an epiphany unless you do something about it, or something good comes from it right? (Well.....There is that thing about me being in denial.....)

So, barring from blogspot deciding to get hit by viruses and losing all my post, including this one, let me state what I am going to do with myself.

1) I will lose weight
2) I will learn how to play the piano
3) I will finish writing the pieces in my head

I haven't got a plan yet, but I am getting details very soon (yeah right..) and hopefully I will have new stuff to write here. Kind of a checklist where myself and everyone that reads here get to keep track of how I'm doing.

Must not lose sight of the destination. Even if I chose to drift in the ocean, I shall drift to the sound of music.