Shaking Hands...

Literally, shaking hands. As in 2 right hands phyisically in embrace in a show of gratitude or just greeting.

So what gives with the topic? Well, I am generally a non-physical person, to an extent even handshakes are avoided. As greetings I'd say the occasional hi, or even just a raise of a brow signifies the standard 'yes I see you and acknowledge your presence' indication when dealing with people. Of course, in more official situations, i.e. at work, I'd follow the customary expectations. However, I still flinch whenever I have to deal with visitors from abroad whom tend to have rather elaborate hi's and bye's.

Having said that, Last Sunday I probably shook more hands (and all different set of hands!) then I have for the past, erm, 20 years?? Oh, I guess I'm ahead of myself here.

Before going on, I should do the customary shout out to my friend who, after 2 wedding receptions, should now be officially married enough for the previous generation to accept him to their fold and stop treating him (and his wife) like single people. :P In any case, long be your marriage, fruitful (pun intended) and fulfilling (that just came out of a blue). Enjoy being on the giving end of all the nasty marriage jokes. :D :D!!

Ok, back to shaking hands. Ok, maybe not.

I have recently developed a fear of weddings and, well, most social gatherings that I have basically put up a huge sign saying, "Ignore me for wedding invites!" (it's invisible, but they know its there...). I have skipped a number of weddings since acquiring this phobia so much that even my mom is annoyed as she too has had to turn down some of the invites from my relatives as she doesn't want to go there alone (I offered to drive her but not attend, you see...:p). With this friend's wedding, the crux was that it was in a format of a buffet, rather than a sitdown, therefore I actually could turn up, feast and leave without saying a word. (Almost makes me feel like a wedding crasher/free-loader with an invite...:D). But as I have told everyone who wanted to invite me to their wedding, I would prefer to be involved/helping, but if I'm just to go (and in Chinese weddings, to go and pay; which after last weekend isn't clearly true anymore, but you'll see..) then I'd rather not. The phobia is the real reason, but I don't think anyone would believe or accept I really have one. They'd rather accept that I'm a stingy (little doesn't fit me very well) big %^$*%& who just wouldn't pay up when someone I know gets married.

So luckily for me my, friend decides that he probably needs some manual labour who'd be free (and even pay for his own transport, hahaha!) so he decided to ask for my help. Initially I had a very simple assignment for his wedding; Ensure a certain area in the parking lot was reserved for the in-laws. When the kompangs (traditional malay timpani/tramborine of sorts) sounded, my duty is done and I'm free to wine and dine...Ok, no wine, but dine or more correctly, lunch...as I wish. Unfortunately, due to some technical reasons the parking area wasn't cordone off and by the time I arrived on Sunday morning, I was jobless..

Ok, since I wasn't getting paid, jobless would be a little off. Assignment-less. But I was already there and even given some pin-up thing (I don't know what it's called, but its meant to be pinned on my shirt) to identify me as one of the 'workers' (While I'm writing this I'm getting some really distracting influences I just can't make up better words...sigh...). The next thing I know I was asked to help ushering.

All of a sudden, from me assigned to doing something I relish (yes, telling people "NO, YOU CAN'T PARK HERE" is something I relish doing), I ended up being the (few) guy greeting every guest coming to my friend's wedding. I was not, of course, prepared in any way for the task at hand. Suffice to say I spent the first 30 or so minutes avoiding the guests in someway so that I don't have to shake their hands. Eventually, I just got used to the gesture. It was also easier when some of the guest were mutual associates of ours whom the parents ( the other people ushering the guests) weren't familiar with.

By the time the kompangs sounded, (which also included the expected delay of the arrival of the bride and groom..) I have somewhat gotten into the groove of shaking hands. Not to say I'm now a 'shake hands' person, but on that day maybe I was. I'm back to being me, ofcourse...:P

That, explains why shaking hands is the title of this post..

Oh, before I forget, it is no longer just the Chinese who practice giving money when attending a wedding reception. Even this wedding (he is Malay) the practice was quite apparent. While some still turn up with presents, a vast majority of the guest gave moeny (or small envelope of something, which could very well contain some love letters, secret messages and even recipes of the unspoken kind...:p But I'll just assume they are cash). So eventually weddings will be business transactions. I.e. I'm getting married, I'll come up with the capital to host a reception and everyone I invite will help pay it off. I'm guessing this was definitely NOT the reason why people host wedding receptions in the first place, but by pracicing the giving of cash, it will sooner or later turn into one.

Why do I care? I'm neither getting married nor attending a wedding reception (which I am expected to pay for) anyway???