When I Laugh, (or Smile)....

When others won't, for clearly the situation doesn't warrant the humour/laughter....Most of the time it's not because I have a sadist view of most things (thought at times, I do), but simply because there is very little I can do about it.

Going back abit. I'm getting quite a lot of slack from people who know me but don't know me all that well for my ill-timed laughter or smiles. Most people write me off as being some sicko finding fun out of other's misfortune (yes, I smile/laugh at other people's misfortunes. But I laugh at my own significantly much more..) Oops. Wait, Saint Saen's Organ symphony just ended. Going to put something else on..Brahm's Tragic overture is next..

Now, where was I? Ok, so I laugh when things go wrong. Or something bad happens. It's not that I am insensitive towards the situation, but throughout my years I have turned into a person almost impervious to grief by bad luck/misfortune. Or, at least, I don't show it.

Wait, let's jump around a bit and confuse myself and anyone insane enough to read this. Take this example that happened over lunch. This new waiter serving at a food court came over to take me and my friend's orders. I wanted my good old teh tarik (pulled tea with milk) and my friend ordered Milo Ais (ice) kurang manis (less sugar). The waiter promptly went off and returned a few minutes later. In his hands were Teh O panas and Teh O panas Ais (that's tea wihout milk, and another with ice). Two completely different drinks from what we ordered. Ok, if you're not from my region/locale, the orders don't seem that different, but where I am from, they shouldn't make these mistakes. But they do.

After clearly stating the drinks we ordered and have the waiter return the drinks for correct ones, my friend commented that I seem to be enjoying myself with the waiter's incompetence. His clue was the smirk on my face. While he agreed that I wasn't in anyway making hell out of things and giving the waiter a hard time, I seemed to like the whole muck up. To him, I was having fun. But I wasn't. Fortunately for me, his comment was both blasé and direct, allowing me the opportunity to explain (Not many people allow others to explain things that seem weird to them but in reality it isn't. OR, they just find it weird. PERIOD). So I explained that my smirk wasn't because I enjoyed it, but it was just me not showing my frustration to the whole mess of things at the waiter whom I know, or believe, was new, foreign, and untrained. The reasons why he gets the job is because (most) restaurant/food court operators in my country are so selfish and profit-minded that they prefer to hire foreign labours to do jobs locals can do simply because it's probably at a fraction (possibly even a tenth) of the cost of locals. It is also not helped that locals here find jobs like that( waiting tables at coffeeshops/food courts) either demeaning (yes, (many) uneducated people in my country believes they are due a desk job that pays them well without them requiring to use much brains) or too low paying, making the bosses sometimes having no option but to look for job hungry foreigners who would take any job that will pay them ANYTIME.

So the whole muck up, while to some part, was the waiter's fault, in many ways, it wasn't. Nor will it help if I turn hostile and give the guy a good shouting or two. I still wanted him to bring me the drinks I want, and preferably not contaminated. So my response? Withold all the negative energy in me, try to it work out with the waiter and hope that he gets it right the second time. Oops. Tragic overture ended too. This is longer than I thought. Schumann's Piano Concerto it is then.

There you have it. A common occurance where you have me smiling (at times laughing with myself) when most others would either show their annoyance or anger and react negatively. I'm not saying that I am so capable of controlling my anger and all that saintly stuff. I don't. Nor do I try to. If showing anger, annoyance and frustration, in my honest opinion, gets the message across, I will, without hesitation, give it to you/them/it. Just ask the many poor sods that tried to telemarket me. But in many instances, these emotions/reaction just doesn't do the right job. So, instead of making everyone feel bad, I'll just make myself feel bad. By doing so, most people think I'm some psycho. (Which, on a different vantage point, isn't so far off bulleye :p)

The next time you see me laughing or smiling when you don't see how it can be funny, don't immediately think I'm having a good time too. I'm just not showing it. On other note, I do find it hilariously interesting how in a span of 3 months, I know of 3 persons whom I am not related to to have died. By my theories, while death is inevitable, they tend to happen over much longer periods of time; not so frequently. Must be me..