Deja Vu??

How do I explain this?

About a year ago, nearing July, I was onto a nervous wreck. At the same time, I was also in the company of a rather attractive female......Ironic? Of course, nothing really happened, but let's start from the beginning.

Several weeks leading to July 1st 2004, I was in a position to hate my job so much that I very well wouldn't want to work anymore (Not that too much of that has changed). Then this colleague of mine at work began to get closer to me that I thought. Needing a diversion from work, I indulged myself in this 'impossibility' as my mind was close to loosing control. I even let her make me express my feelings, something that I usually would only do after a whole lot of thought. Real lot.

It did't help the fact that she is attractive, to many people as well. Yes, you could say I got suckered in the love game. It did do several good things to me....I got my first movie date after what, 18 months? I also could go ahead working without thinking too much about how I hated it. Oh, I should mention that I won my first Raw Deal (Wrestling CCG) Tournament that weekend too. So things couldn't be any better, right?

It lasted exactly 1 week. I followed it with a week of annual leave,which was cut short to 3 days due to 'business need'. After that things went from extremely friendly to complete strangers between me and her (My fault, really!). Not that it was bad, really. My, erm, impulsive behaviour would have been detrimental to my personality, if things happened like anything but now...(Note to self, need to write on my need to be an individual, however ridiculous it is)

Ok, how is this deja vu? Well, first off, I am...........'looking' again (Barry, if you ever see this, like ever, please don't choke and die, ok?). I think I have seen, however.......but things move slower than me...And I am really, really slow. At the same time, I am also enjoying my non-work life more through running tournaments again, and (wow) 2 RPGs sessions for 12 hours in 1 weekend! (more on that later)

I have 4 days to July 1st. Patience is a virtue. Hopefully I have it.

What's on my mind now

Artist: Wilson Phillips
Title: Give It Up


You can't hide it from me
Admit it baby
'cause i'm wise to your disguise
I've seen you love me with your eyes

Even if you think i'm a fool and i just can't tell
Then you don't know me well
Won't you come over here and break the ice
It would be so nice

It's what you want when you're around me
You're a little bit shy, and i feel the need
And i can tell that you're happy you found me
Just give it up...

Chorus:
Why wait around when you know what you're feeling (give it up)
I look through your eyes
I can see that you want somebody (give it up)
It could feel so good to get into it.
Give it up! give it up! you want it baby.
Give it up! give it up! you know you got me.
Come on, come on, come on and give it up.

I can't, i can't lie to you
Now we can all tell stories so come over here and love me. uh-huh
Even if you think i'm a fool and i just can't tell
Sorry i know you well.
And i know you will

Come over here and love me
It's what you want when you're around me
You're a little bit shy, and i feel the need
And i can tell that you're happy you found me
Just give it up...

(chorus)

So dream your way into my life
'cause baby i'll give you tonight
I'll bring all your pictures to life
Give it up! give it up! give it up! give it up!
Give it up... (ooh god) give it up... just give it up...give it up

Give it up! give it up (yeah!)
Give it up! give it up!
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, give it up
Give it up! won't you give it up baby tonight?

Fade


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I need to get this downloaded.....hmmmm

I must be in a different dimension!!

Yet again, another 'leader' in the company display lack of......English Comprehension. One wonders what exactly do the management look at to select lower level leaders....Other than the obvious, "Mess with the process, you do not..."

Incompetence seems to be their favourite past time. At my level, it should be forgivable, though not acceptable. However, at their level, do they not see that their incompetence reflects badly on their effectiveness and inteligence?

I'd understand if the person is new. New to being a people leader. New to my department. My company. But we are talking about people who's been here longer than I have. Been a leader for more than 6 months. DOn't they see the relevance in learning more than just how to politic their way through the company?

I think I have boiled over here. I use to emphatise that there could be reasons why they know so little about the job. Now, being there before, I know it's because of 2 reasons:

They couldn't be bothered; or, They can't. For what it's worth, they're still there and I'm here.

Had a discussion with some colleagues the other day and this guy who's relatively new complained that it's the management culture that has resulted to things being this way. And if management doesn't change, neither will the lower level leaders. In other words, we are all doomed.

Maybe it's time to bolt, but I fail to see how other companies may be different from this one. Maybe I am destined to make the change. Or I am meant to be the final fall guy. Until lightning strikes me, I don't feel like being mr. Nice Guy and save the world. If it won't save itself, then it's high time the population on earth goes through a major reduction.

May the strongest live and the less strong, strive.

Why do I have to work with such bumbling baffons!!!

For me to write this means I'm truly boiling over. No doubt my sentiments aren't all true, but hell? Why is it people who are leaders can know so little of the business and it's processes and survive in the workplace? Can the powers that be not see their shortcomings?

They make it so hard to get into those positions, yet so little that make the cut portray what the requirements needed them to show.

It seems like leadership is a quality exclusive of all other good qualities, like common sense, ability to learn, hardworking, passionate, quick thinking, creativity and innovation, etc. All leaders know is how to make people think they know better. And they don't. Or they do....We'll, what's perceive as true almost always alters the truth.

These jokers can come ask me for the silliest of assistance, as though they got to where they are by inheritance. So what Dilbert says must be true, you only get promoted to make sure you don't mess with with process. Idiots get promoted. Sure, some great leaders are smart and benevolent, but for every great leader, you'll have 1 million sucky ones that unfortunately the masses can't tell the difference.

When will we live in a society where merit belong to the deserving? How much more will mankind chose to let mediocracy lead it's future??

Pissed is an understatement now.

And so I hated Love........

Lazy to write anything new, so I will post Part 2 of "Why I'm NOt In Love"

*************************************************************************************

If you are not convinced to stop after reading Part One;


Let me remind you how poor your records are

You have:

Fallen for X different girls in your lifetime
X/2 +1 of which knew how you felt
X/2 -1 were oblivious of it
Yet none ever set you free from your loneliness

Those who knew how you felt
Didn't reciprocate
Those who didn't know
Didn't know why you never kept in touch

The moment you get rejected
You plunged into depression
And invoked Suicide Mode
Hating yourself, Finding faults with them
Totally ignoring the reasons why you loved them in the first place

When you finally concede and let things be
Your heart tries to make you change your mind
And out of desperation
You do the silliest and destructive things
By giving them Ultimatums that even you would not agree

To end the pain inside
You burn bridges, severe ties
Only to regret it later in your life
Only when there is no turning back

So stop being a fool for love
Understand that your heart is weak
And beat it at it's own game
Don't let it cloud your judgment
For that is your only saving grace

Still unconvinced?

Check out part 3 for case studies

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Well, there isn't any part 3, nor do I hope I end up writing them. I actually ended up trying again last year, to no success ofcourse. By now I have come to realise that no amount of control can stop me from falling for someone. However, my fear of rejection, coupled by my ability to procrastinate, ensures that I will go no further than just that, falling for someone. So without external forces, nothing will change.

Until the time when that someone is more than I can fall for, it is also one that I can die for, live for, fight for and be happy for, these 2 parts will help me keep myself in check. Lightning will strike eventually, when I least expect it...Let it be.......(could not complete the sentence as it contradicts me...)

Part 2 will have to wait....

Sorry. Not keen in posting part 2 of a very sorry and sordid me relating about falling in love. Not yet, anyway.

Been.........unproductive lately. Wait, that's like 3 months running, no?

Several highlights of the weekend...

1) FFK( that's Fong Fei Kei in cantonese, or missing appointment) my sister when we were suppose to go to a talk hosted by Pantai Medical on obesity and yet another solution to it. My sister told me that it was a real talk, a medical one, and that the procedure is actually meant for those with morbid obesity. It involves putting a 'valve' around your stomach entrance to reduce it's size and give you a full feeling. If only I had RM 80K......

2) Went to the shop only to be somewhat dissapointed that, well, I missed alot of fun. Why I say somewhat? Because I doubt I would had the capacity to enjoy what they did, knowing the controls in me will hinder my capability to 'follow through'. In other words, better non-existent than party pooper. Besides, everyone had fun, so that's hardly a bad thing. If I need to have fun too, I'd find my own ways.

3) Also somewhat dissapointed was that certain expected interaction with certain individuals at the shop didn't occur, or occurred long enough. I only manage to play several Wrestling matches and that was with the "Bitch" of the Year. Man, I hate that "B". I do. Fortunately there were a group of guys playing M:TG as they prepare themselves for the Regionals. Short note: Regionals is a competition that allows one to be invited to Nationals, an yearly invited competition that has good money to be won. Not to mention the title of being the best the country has to offer that year.

Actually ended up playing M:TG until 1.30am. Was having so much fun with this Blue Control deck against a Mono Red blasting deck. On several occasions when I had absolutely no answer and I still won, the Red Deck didn't seem to draw questions.

My continuous abuse of work time has now lead me to reading & rereading old post on certain individual's blogs. As mentioned before, blogs are a safe way to know people, without having to go through the (possible) horrible time of conversation (If you can't tell my people skills are zero by now, welcome aboard!). Not to mention the option to pretend I know nothing, when in fact I do. I like information, and I have problems sharing it...

Yeah, that's what I wanted to write in the first place. Cheap shots at quotes I don't know by who:

" Knowledge is Power"

" He who knows not, and knows not he knows not, he is a fool, leave him.
He who knows not, and knows he knows not, he is simple, teach him.
He who knows, and knows not he knows, he is asleep, wake him.
He who knows, and knows he knows, he is wise, follow him"

I knew those quotes since I was eight (FYI, I can't seem to remember much of what I did when I was 7, so everything seemed to have happened when I was 8....) and have since always wanted to know more that I needed. That lead me to being somewhat of a busybody, always eager to poke my nose into other poeple's problems, like helping with homework when they can do it themselves, giving solutions to problems that others never asked....etc...Eventually I guess people got tired of my take without giving attitude (on information) that no one bothered to be friends with me. That, coupled with my stringent requirement to be "My" friend, results in me having an extremely limited pool of close contacts. People that would hang out with me. People that would want my company.

Content check...Talk about information, not why you are an island...Focus...

Back to reading the blog for information. It's nice to know about people, what they did, how they felt, who did what, etc... It's like soap opera, real life. Never gonna happen to me, so being a spectator is as good as it gets. Not really the kind of information that constitutes raw power, like who's next on the hitman's list, what stock will rise in a couple of days to make me filthy rich...etc..but it does gives me an edge over others. There's this sense of achievement to see the bigger picture better than others, or it's just me and my (what)ego..

Information has a strange way of being powerful. The whole, I know something you know is already a measure of power. Coupled that with, what I know can manipulate what you know, and not, is even greater power. Factor in that your actions rely on what you know, that's currently factored by what I tell you..........To break that chain, you need to know, not just from 1 source, but from multiple sources. Ensure they correlate and then you will have the edge (no reference to the edge in V:TES, but that's another story.) With it, at the very least you're less likely to be flanked in most situations.

Hope those who know me won't start to block me from reading their blogs now. It's good entertainment too!

P.s. Apologies for the weird writing style. I personally don't know who I am writing to most of the time, myself, or you?

Not for the faint hearted

I wrote this back in 2003, when I didn't know of "BLOG" and needed a good reminder to myself before I put myself in a 'life-threatening' situation again.

I shall put it here. Apologies if this isn't fresh...

************************************************************************************
Part 1: If you (think) fall in love.......

Again
It means that it's been a long time since your mind overwhelmingly exposes the shortcomings that your heart is showing
That your heart seems to have forgotten how it puts you into the most embarrassing and silly situations just to satisfy it's natural instinct
The instinct to be with another human being
To no longer be alone

However, weak as it is and forgetful
Your heart fails to understand that until a time you are willing to be someone they need to convince them that you are sincere
You will only hurt yourself
Not to mention make a total fool of yourself

The heart has an array of tricks to make you think otherwise
To disillusion you into believing this could be it
The right girl, the right feel, the right time
But it is never true!!
NEVER!!

The heart only knows how to react when your biological clock ticks
And tick it will, louder and louder as time passes
Know that no matter how much you feel the need, you are simply incapable of doing it right
Saying what they want to hear, doing what they want to see,
Feeling what they need you to feel, at the precise time
And by the time you realise it, it is always too late
Or NEVER!!

Do not let your heart tell you someone looks at you that way,
Or someone feels for you in this way
Because they've never felt that way with you
They are just being friendly as they can see how lonely you are
And when you feel that the heart may be right,
Ask yourself:
Can you be someone who will do whatever it takes to make them feel right?
Can you say the words without inhibitions, can you show how you feel without fear?

You know you can't, and don't ever be convinced otherwise

Unconvinced, continue part 2

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Man...I must have been pissed....

So Long....Goodbye

No, it's not my last post, nor am I leaving for, another plane......

The above was the name of a Raw Deal Card (Caution! Whole post revolves mainly on a Raw Deal Tournament that happened yesterday) that practically made my day yesterday. Yesterday, after a long, long while, I played in a sanctioned Raw Deal Tournament that I could win a prize. It was for the U.S. Title Belt. Let the storytelling begin.......

Saturday, 4th June 2005 @ 6.00pm

Andy: Hey Ben, did you know there's a tournament tomorrow at Bangsar?
Me: Really?? No, i had no idea.
Andy: Call Joe. He's got the details.
Me: Any card restrictions? (Oi, already asnwered above la!)

later, during a dinner that a I didn't eat....

Andy: So did you call Joe and find out what can/cannot be played?
Me: No, I had his mobile number 3 times, and lost my phone that many times too.
(Dinner crowd shrugs in dissapointment)
Me: Anyone has his number? (To my surprise, all of a sudden there was a impromptu race to provide me the number.....And Triona won!)
(Tried to call Joe with no success)

After dinner, back at Wolf's Games Shop (where all wrestlers, table top gamers and RPGers call their 2nd home).

Andy: So did you call Joe?
Me: No luck. Can't get him.
Andy: Joe called me. It's a no PROMO tournament (PROMO capitalised for a unique reason).

yada yada yada yada.......

After a Movie and some more gaming, and just into 4th June 2005, i.e. 1.00am....Andy, Ahmad, Geoffrey ( I think that's his name) decided Enough With the Trash Talk (and gaming), it's time to feed. Off we went to our usual hangout place at Section 14, PJ. While on the way there, I had this conversation:

Me: Who do you think I should play tomorrow?
Ahmad: You should play 2MPT heat. Consistent deck.
Me: Why? (Again, why you like to ask questions that's already asnwered?) I think I want to play Gail Kim & Molly Holly. It's nice to be able to hit a 0-F manuever for 12 damage!...Andy's here. Don't tell him what I want to play tomorrow!
Ahmad: Ok!

By the end of the feeding session, I left the place bent on going home to build my "Hardcore Molly" deck, but was telling everyone I will play Big Poppa Pump. Yet for some reason, by the time I am home I chose to build a Big Poppa Pump Deck!

5th June 2005, @ 9.30am

Woke up early due to my familiarity to wake up to work. Curses. Thought that I will arrive early at Bangsar and use a proxy deck to play. Since Big Poppa Pump was Raw, I decided it's time to build a SmackDown Eugene deck. After making some changes to my current Raw Eugene, voila! Eugene is now SmackDown specialing in Torrie's DDT, Rock Bottom & thePeople's Elbow and a host of SuperStar Specific Moves that Eugene can mimick. Out of curiosity, I played Big Poppa Pump against Eugene only to see Big Poppa Pump get a Beating it will forget asap! All of a sudden, I have now decided to play Eugene instead! (Note: It is extremely enjoyable to play Eugene as you can hit to most ridiculous moves at your opponents!) Reached Bangsar at 12.20pm and, well, the rest is history......below:

Pre-Tournament:

I played a game with Joe with my Big Poppa Pump and lost marginally to his All Axxess JBL. Then came the time to write my name on the entry list.

Mae: Ben, are you chinese educated?
Me: No, why?
Mae: You write with a stlye similar to chinese caligraphy.
Me: No, their style is similar to me.
Mae: Unless you're thousands of years old....
Me: I am! Can't you tell? I am Immortal!!
Mae: No I can't tell...
Joe: I can. I can smell it!

While that conversation didn't turn out as close as the reality, I would note that for some unknown reason, the way I grip a pen (scratch that thought!) has always had many chinese questioning why I hold it that way...Whatever...

Fast Forward to Round One:

Opponent - Shane O'Mac played by Shaz

Got lucky as he decided not to Mean Streets of Greenwich me and I had the opportunity to play my preferred Prematches. The game was rather one sided, I threw several unique manuevers at him without return, and he was limited to 2 fortitude until the end. Sorry Shaz, Eugene had to Torrie's DDT you.

Round Two:

Opponent - APA by Fiezan

My first Heat opponent. Yet again I got lucky I had enough reversals in my hand and hit him with a first tun That One Thing, choosing submission. He was stuck at 4 fortitude and Torrie's DDT setup another win for Eugene.

Round Three:

Opponent - GOLDBerg by Johan(Joe)

This has got to be the easiet of all matchups. GOLDBerg's lack of 0-fort reversals, coupled by his inability to reverse unique manuevers with his ability, should mean a walkover for me. Yet, yet in this game I made 2 blunders. Firstly, I forgot to play It's Showtime to move first. That gave him an opportunity to push through a manuever (My hand was atrocious) and eventually we were both having 10+ fort. Then, as I wasn't drawing much manuevers, I decided to play Teaser Mode and search for........So Long....Goodbye. Yes it's a Raw Deal Card.

Joe: What did you search for?
Me: So Long, Goodbye.....(showing him the card)
Joe: Hey! That's a PROMO from Ruthless Agression
Me: (looked at the card and saw V 7.0 whatever that meant)
Joe: I know my PROMOs! What irony! So Long! GoodBye! (And laughs no different from a Hyena)
For the next 10+ minutes, I was in shame. Raw Deal Manager playing with an illegal deck. I should have been DQed. Thank goodness Mae, the person running that tourney, wasn't much of a rules person (heck, she probably doesn't even know how to play the game), decided to not decide and let my previous opponents decide on my fate. Due to some suprising turn of events, I was to rematch with Fiezan (Shaz let me off, good man) and lost to him (not so lucky this time). I was now from what should have been 3-0 to 1-2. It's Over for me.

Joe: Hey. Still got another round to go. Andy may still do a Go Behind!

And so there was another round. I was still distraught at this point due to the So Long, Goodbye thingy....Such a poor mistake.

Round Four

Opponent - Babe of the Year by Andy

For what would have been a difficuly match turned out ok as Eugene prevailed. But to think of it, 2 wins just ain't enough. Right? (ok, I have to admit, if I didn't cut it I wouldn't be bothered to write so much of this crap, no?)

Top four single elimination saw me do an "Andy", Go Behind. Andy was once playing with an illegal deck, made our semis matchup the matchup of the Liars, Cheaters & Thieves. However, despite his attempt to play differently, Eugene manage to hit him with more unique manuevers, including Babe Buster!

The other semis was Azmin's Torrie (Eugene's mentor) and Joe's GOLDBerg. Much the same as the swiss rounds, Azmin could not notch that much needed win over Joe to meet me for the final. So it was GOLDBerg VS Eugene in the final.

Joe: Come over and trash me, you cheater!
Me: (Still embarressed over the boo boo).......

No mistakes this time, I showtimed and hit Joe with Double Chop. For some unknown reason, Joe chose to not reverse it and, the rest, I guess, is History (not Anachronism!) Unique move after Unique move, I finished Joe off with RKO!

And so I've won. Yet another US Title Belt. Whatever......

Post Match.

Decided I should try out Azmin's Torrie just to 'prove' nothing, I got hit with DDTs until Eugene pinned out. It would have been a good feel, though!

So Long.....Goodbye......

Where were you??

Did you know that the Blog was down for 2 days, at least? I was bored silly. Well, actually, I was more interested to find out more of the few people's Blog that I read. I know them generally, but with the Blog I get to know them better.

Consider the fact that I am hopeless in conversations. It's not just the ladies, but even with men, I have problems sustaining a conversation.In general it's my fault. I have this way of thought that is somewhat peculiar to others, and my defiance denies me the opportunity to communicate more like others. I may try, but ultimately I fall back to they way I am, how I think, how I perceive.....I have a knack of finding humour it the wrongest (yes, that word doesn't exist) of places. At funerals, at weddings, someone's mishap, my own mishap, etc....

In any case, I have grown further and further apart from the way others communicate. Those who know me get use to it, and can even joke about it, but for those who don't, and there are truly many, they tend to either, a) missunderstand me, or b) think I'm a pycho and still missunderstand me. But that's ok. Being different is the few things that I treasure in my life, so screw the rest who can't understand me. It's your lost, not mine! (An exceptionally optimistic look, but one gets to do one of these every now and then, no?)

Back to the blog going down. Obviously if you read this it's back up, and the recent updates from certain individuals have somewhat startled me. I hope I didn't play a part in any of their misgivings. The good parts, yes, I wouldn't mind having a part. But the, um, not so good ones? ( It wasn't My Fault....You'll be hypnotised... It wasn't My Fault....You'll be hypnotised...It wasn't My Fault....You'll be hypnotised...It wasn't My Fault....You'll be hypnotised...It wasn't My Fault....You'll be hypnotised...)

No one's gonna fall for that, but it's a try.

I want to watch Madagascar.....If only I'd find out when.......................................................

How could I have gone to sleep???

I have a confession to make.

You know what you here from the sports anchormen, newscasters, pundits et all, " for those that slept after half time...."

Yup, I was one of those......Oh, why did I sleep after halftime? (Note: If you know nothing about football, skip reading)

Yesterday (25th May 2005), the most incredible thing happened in football sports. Liverpool, in a Champion's League Final (which is the premier competiton for Europe), up against 7 times Champions A.C. Milan from Italy, went 3-0 down in first half. Myself, being a loyal (will discuss this part later) Liverpool supporter, was devastated. This was made much worse considering the following factors:

1) Team selection - Rafael Benitez (Liverpool Manager) chose to pick Harry Kewell, once Australian wunderkid left winger/striker, to be one of the starting eleven despite him having played less than a couple of games before this. He eventually got injured (again) and had to go off after 20+ minutes.
2) Team selection - Djimi Traore was also selected for 1st eleven at leftback. While he has been playing regularly, it's probably his first, super important match and this guy has a tendency to overexpose his position and leave it unattended. Kudos for John Arne Riise for keeping the left side defendable.
3) The first goal by Milan was scored within the 1st minute!!
4) The other goals were scored when Djimi Traore was happily attacking in the opponent's half, leaving the defence to cope in 3 on 3 situations.
5) And, worse of them all, I applied Leave just to watch the match!!!

So you could understand me for giving up and going to bed at half time, right? I mean, an already distraught me couldn't take watching those 3 goals shown over and over again as the commentators review the 1st half that flew by. Surely I shouldn't torture myself with another horrific performance by Liverpool in the 2nd half and watch them ship in another 3 goals, no? You see my point, yes? (please say yes....please.....)

The truth is, I guess, I wasn't very loyal after all. I couldn't bear to see them lose. I didn't stick by them through thick and thin. And as I slumber, Liverpool staged the most exciting comeback by scoring 3 goals in 6 minutes, and then holding on for another 60 minutes before winning the match on penalties. All this happened while I was asleep. Steven Gerrard scored a superb header for the 1st goal, followed by a fluke 20 metre strike by Vladimer Smicer which Dida (Milan's goalkeeper) could have palm away and finally, Gerrard was brought down in the penalty area and gave Liverpool a penalty and chance to equalise. Xabi Alonso stepped up, and while his initial kick was stopped by Dida, his follow through crashed to the roof of the net and all the world wondered, "Could Liverpool pull it off?"

And I lay asleep. Liverpool scored 3 goals and I was sound asleep. They won the penalties and I was sound asleep. They lifted the cup, in front of 80 thousand spectators (of which, over 40 thousand were fans) and I was........asleep. I gave up while the world watched. I did, however, manage to secure the news by 8.00am when I saw an SMS from a friend to tell me we won. I also made sure I caught the repeat, just to see the goals, the penalty saves and, the celebration afterward (how else could I manage to write so much here?).

I have to say, I am still pleased we won. Even if we can't defend it next year (This whole thing about only up to top 4 in each country may compete each year, irregardless of who the champion is, is ridiculous). We did what Arsenal, Chelsea and another 17 other premiership teams couldn't do for 20 years. (Eat that Everton. See how you survive Champion's League next season). We won this cup 5 times, when Manchester United could only do it twice in 50 years. Maybe in the future, Chelsea or even Arsenal can win it, but 5 times???(insert Booker T taunt here).

I need to stop giving up so easily......

And they all went to Tioman......

That was my company's yearly trip destination. Happened last weekend. I didn't go for several reasons;

1) Decision to go happened during my 'low' period when I was expecting to return to now current role. So the low morale me chose to be anti-social and miss the trip.
2) I had a concert at DPP (Dewan Philharmonik Petronas) on Sunday, which I paid as part of my membership package of 7 concerts for about RM 300.00. While I didn't go, (somebody beat me!), it was an excuse....
3) I wanted to watch Judgement Day( PPV event for WWE Wrestling) on Monday morning. Going to Tioman basically meant no PPV for me.
4) I had no one to go for.......Basically (this is a section that deserves a full post, but later), every trip I go to I had someone to go for....It's kind-off the poor 'boy' in me...whatever.....

Since then, I have heard some stories on the going-ons for the trip. Mostly the stories of people loosing themselves after many a mug of beer, i.e. dancing erotically, cursing, dirty jokes and comments, etc. One of them involves a young manager helping out a drunk Canadian tourist female, who according to several sources went to the beach dancing in nude, with a bottle in her, between her, you know where.......

No I don't miss not being there when it happened, though it would have been quite an eye-opener (I haven't been to tiger shows, mind you...). Remember, this was not a professional, rather some random student tourist... Nor do I miss the trip and the company, considering I am somewhat still sore with my company...However, the fact that I missed my first annual trip on my third year was somewhat dissapointing. Not to mention the opportunity to visit Tioman and snorkel. At least I would have had the chance to say, "Yeah, I've done that!".

But I have time in my hands. Or I think.....(If I die by a freak accident in 48 hours, you'd know I brought it to myself).

I do believe that trips like these should include people that you could share precious and memorable moments with, not just any Tom, Dick, or Sally......Though not necessary it must be a loved one, it should be someone that experiences things relatively the same as you, and have interests the same as you do. Otherwise the trip will be about who's enjoying and who's giving in.

Oh well. Must not skip my next (and last) concert next month, or I shall (shoot myself).

What a surprise!!

Last night something nearly random and impossible happened to me. I got an sms that at first, I discounted as a mis-sent, and later found out was an attempt to 'strike conversation' with me. Not to mention I just finished watching Monday Night Raw (yes, yesterday was Tuesday, I get to see it delayed) and realised I'm way past my bedtime. Bedtime now is, 11pm, later than that I won't get my 8 hours of sleep and my performance will suffer later that work day. Though, I have slept for 11 hours and still suffer in performance next working day.....Still, who wouldn't want more sleep?

Oh, back to the sms. I replied nonchalantly being the clueless person that I am. After discovering the true purpose of the sms, I own up to my lack of 'flirting' qualities. I was also trying to sleep, so keeping the sms up wasn't a good idea. Of course, being the person who has had no luck with the ladies (personal or otherwise), having a random thing like this sure excites the heart. Harmless, but the heart sure likes these kind of, feedback? (Couldn't find a better word). So I haven't really gotten over that, even now.

It got me thinking, why do I have such horrible ability to hold proper conversations with the fairer sex. I am, after all above average intelligence. There are many smarter males around me, but the smarter you are, the less likely the ladies would like you, or so I hear. Something to do with your conversations being too intelligent. Maybe my above average intelligence assessment is underestimated? Let's not go on an ego trip. Already riding on last night's!

Oh, reality check, nothing happened last night. I wasn't up for it, remember....nor did I know how. Hopeless. So why the issue with proper conversations? Or, to a more male female interaction, the ability to flirt? I use to have no problems talking to girls, or anyone for that matter during my childhood( :P). Then I went to an all-boys school in my teens, and I became more and more reclusive. I'd still have 'girl' thoughts, but as my school offers no such company, I think I basically lost touch. Then during my Form 6 years, having female classmates were possible again.

And in no time I was in love. Or so I thought. Looking at it now, the sudden exposure to girls after a long, long hiatus can drive a boy's hormones wild. Unfortunately, my, ahem, non-existent people skills, specifically with females, meant that all I could do were wrong things in my pursuit of the fairer sex. Real wrong. I overuse eye contact. I can't talk normal when they are around. About this girl that I was interested (in the 1 & 1/2 years in Form 6, I had 3 targets....bad bad boy), she had many admirers. I knew most of them, and their intentions. Yet not only did I not know how to exploit the information that I have, I let them win????Yeah, that's what I did.

And so I began my 'Self Destruct' process. A process I activate everytime I begin to feel for another person, and then due to some setback, I began to do everything that I could to forget them. And most of the things I did were extremely mean, to an unsuspecting female. Like complete ignorance, helping out with others on her relationship rumours, etc....See the total lack of maturity in this aspect?

Wait, I am to talk about my lack of flirting skills, not my past non-existent relationships. Ok, ok. Years go by and after many 'Self Destruct' activations, it's no surprise I no longer can hint interest with any female. Hell, I can't even read proper signs. Like when to step up or bolt. Or when they're in the mood (Forget about getting heavy, ok. I'm talking base zero here). Even girls that I find attractive, I completely ignore them (well, I try....But those damn hormones don't help!) as I doubt I'd be able to do anything...(yes yes, no confidence here....so huat??)

Also, I kind of believe in what I say, or what they say, in this 'flirting' process...So to do this flirt thingy just for the joy of it just doesn't feel right. Not to say that I don't do it at all, sometimes when my guard is missing I pull of a great escape or two, but other than that, I can only envy those who have it easy on the ladies.

I have my fair share of male friends who can pick up any girl they want. Well, at least that's how they boast it. They've got some examples, but it wouldn't be nice to say they're lying. Let them have their ego trip, I say, even if I won't get mine. They do, however, have the ability to sense interest, and also have the courage to 'hit' on a girl. Me, I can only think of the consequence of my actions, especially what may have felt right (My heart's a lousy judge) almost always turn completely wrong!

Sigh. Well, I guess I know why I'm poor in flirting. My lack of effort to improve it basically means no sig-other for me. You reap what you sow, no?

What do you write...

when you can't think of anything to write about??

I used to think blogging was an opportunity to write a 'public' diary. However, since then, the 'public' information became more and more 'private; information which I am becoming more reluctant to share.

I am, after all, a very secretive person. Granted, everyone has their share of secrets, and I for one, isn't in a position to own secrets that have overwhelming consequences once public (other than to myself), I do hold much of what I know to myself for several reasons:

1) I hate being wrong. Even if others don't know it. To know I played a part in giving incorrect information (without intent) and that someone using that same information with a potential to 'blow in their face' is painful. Don't know why.

2) I fear to be understood. It's like a book. Once someone has read you, you are open. They can choose any page in your book and know what you'll do. Or what you'll do next. That, scares the hell out of me. Not to mean that I don't want my (future) Sig-Other to not know me, but until then, I'll keep me to myself. Thank You.

So 2 reasons that compel me to be silent (but violent). Yet, every now and then I break my own rules and spills out more than I should, resulting in me feeling bad about myself for a while. And it can be a long while.

Enough talk about me. (Wait a minute, it's meant to talk about me). Lets find something to write about.....later.

And they all talked about Liverpool

Been lazy lately, with not much drive to strive.
Read a few guys blog and for those who were Liverpool fans, one theme popped up:
The fact that Liverpool is in Champion's League Final, against AC Milan.

A quick one on the above. Me Liverpool fan too. Not too diehard, but enough to always back Liverpool even when the odds are strongly against them. FYI, for those who don't know, Liverpool is a football club in UK. Currently not the best in terms of the Premier League, however over the years their history is amazing. Recent times Liverpool haven't been Champion material, but this CL final gives the team an opportunity to return to previous glory days.

I saw that match, I saw the (boring) 0-0 1st leg too. Oh, as a Liverpool fan I shouldn't say that it was boring (it was a good result to bring back to Anfield), however looking from a neutral, any game that ends 0-0 tend to bore. Tactics prevailed over technique.

And it was similar in the return leg. Other than the fortunate goal early in the game, the teams stuck to their tactics like before and the game ended 0-1. It wasn't pretty, but in the end the results matter most.

I have to admit, while for a neutral, it wasn't very exciting, being a fan it was very stressful. Knowing that a single goal by Chelsea (did I not mention this was their opponent?) will take them through instead of my team, I was anxious throughout the game. Worried sick at times. But I kept watching. And they won.

And that's all that matters.......

Get out of Jail!!!

Card. That's what today is for me. The past month has been depressing as a whole, due to my knowlegde of what's to happen to my job scope. As I have posted before, I am returning to my previous role as an Administrator (or Secretary, for those who are wondering) from my current role as Team Leader. And today is my last day.

So why get out of jail? Hmmm. Lots of reasons. I no longer have to lead a team. That said, I no longer have to worry over my teammembers not doing their work, slacking, taking shortcuts, etc. I don't have to worry about their welfare, their stress levels, their happiness at work......All I have to worry is making sure my Boss get's what she wants when she wants it (no unethical thoughts, please..)

Oops (Out of Pattern Spend). I let out the cat. Let's talk about my job. Yes, I am known as the Department Administrator for about 80 employees. However, I report to one person, that's my Boss, who also happens to be the Director. And yes, it's a she. And yes, I agree what they say about female bosses. Oh, as I was saying, while I seem to serve 80 odd blokes, my major concern is the requirements of my Director. Again, this is business only (see why I don't like talking about this?) As long as the task given out by her is completed, I am free to do as I will (within certain constraints, of course).

Not that being a Team Leader meant I would have another boss. Nope. Same boss, more problems. The difference, is of course; Power & Money ( I could add the ability to serve others, but I'm no politician, so I'll lie). So I don't really have much to complain, do I?

But complain I do. You see, being male restricts my ability to multitask. And this role requires alot of multitasking. Not to mention, I have poor attention span. Sometimes constantly reminded items pass me by until its too late. In other words, I suck at my job. So how did this hopeless (me) get hired?

This is some fun to tell. I've told this before, but let's do this here as well. For your reading pleasure. You see, before this I worked night shift in the same department as a rep. My performance was above par, but not thoroughly outstanding. When the position became available, I was somewhat tired of my current job. There were certain changes happening, and I wasn't too keen on them. Besides, this is a day job. Weekends off. (not too mention, not bad in pay). And the role of 'Department Administrator' made it possible for a guy to go for the post. Oh, fyi, until I applied, everyone, and anyone, who even considered for this position, was female. (I see an opening for guy degrading comment!). So I posted. My competitors, all colleagues in the same department, were of course females with a certain skill lacking. Not without, but lacking (and this skill has nothing with me being male, dammit!)

I had the advantage of being more fluent in English. Like this. They, however, were, as I mentioned, lacking. ( I also believe that my boss probably was happy to be able to boast to have a male assistant, as every other person in similar roles were females, but that's another story). Not to mentioned I played all my cards right through 2 interviews with 4 women! I must admit though, I wasn't even convinced I should get the job......

That was 18 months ago. Now I'm going to be back at that role, and have to work with the person who replaces me. I just hope I can remain objective and not give them a hard time.

I need a new job....Anyone know of anything out there for me????

Back on Borrowed Time

To some extent, that is. Doing this during working hours looks like borrowed time to me.

A little update over the last post:

1) I showed I knew Edge and Christian very well, and that I was.....That......Damn.....Good (yet another Wrestling related comment). However, UnderTaker answered GOLDBerg's Who's Next extremely well and Took Care of Business. Whooped me and took the Intercontinetal Belt.

2) I haven't had a single game of chess since my last post.....Boo Hoo. Isn't there anyone willing to spar with me???

Yesterday the official announcement of my impending return to my previous role came out. The permanent replacement's name was also announce. During that time (in the 'manager's' meeting), despite me already knowing this fact, my mood sunk yet again and I could hardly function properly. Safe to say I didn't exist in the office for a couple of hours despite physically there. I was just not in the mood to work. More reference to borrowed time??

Today there was a Cultural Day of sorts in my department and I had colleagues appearing in standard malay, chinese or indian costumes. Best, ofcourse were the non-indians willingness to put on a Saree. While some may say my office does not have beautiful women, I would say it is a welcomed change, at least once in a while.

Despite my attempts to not do much for the next couple of weeks, I couldn't stop myself from overtaking my colleague's camera and started acting like pro (when I'm not). Come to think of it, I think I was somewhat rude with the way I shove him off His camera and took over. Ouch. Me bad, very bad. That aside, we had the a pot luck thingy and there was so much food that I don't even need to buy dinner (the event happened late lunch). There's still alot of food left.

Back to taking photographs, I have a thing for angled shots and candid pictures. I like taking pictures when people least expect them (not too the extent that it becomes voyuer) and take them at embarassing moments. There was once a colleague fell asleep in the office (please don't think we have nothing to do at work, we do. Really) and I borrowed (again??) a phone camera and recorded a scene of him sleeping!

Other than the photographing sessions, loads of food, today has been quite a waste of time. I hardly have any mood to do anything (my boss finds out, I'm dead). Can't wait to go to Wolf's Gameshop tonight and play some wrestling. Glad I got some extra foils from Herman (a Singaporean who drops by the Shop once a month to sell Raw Deal Foils) that allows me a lot more options in deckbuilding (like I don't already have enough). Took me 3 hours last night just to rearrange my foils.

It's now 7.45pm. 2 plus hours to go. Can't wait.

Happier Times

I admit. For the first time I am writing this from home. So much for using company time for personal endeavours.

Few things have urged me to write these down before my failing memory looses the thoughts,

1) I have been listening to this 'schoolboy' song recently and it brought back memories of how I destroyed the lyrics. I will write the lyrics below and you decide how sick I was. Urm, I did this at twelve.

Song - Parody of Bahasa Jiwa Bangsa (oops. It's in Bahasa Malaysia, so if you don't know BM, you're unlikely to understand what I've done).

Jangan guna Bahasa Kebangsaan kita
Gunakan kata kasar sahaja
Bahasalah memusnahkan kita semua
Yakinlah Bahasa sakit jiwa

Marilah mari rakyat semua
Buktikan taat setia
pada kata kasar sahja

Tak maju bangsa
Tak maju negara
Bahasa sudah gila
Bahasa sakit Jiwa!!

2) After like, 4 years, I finally found someone (you know who you are) to play a game of chess with me. This guy was somewhat confident of his 'chess' skills that he responded to my offer to play "Only if you don't mind losing"....He he. Unfortunately for him, due to lack of sparring partners, I had no avenue to show that I am somewhat competent in Chess, or similar board games. You see, my youth was spent on character creation (RPG characters; AD&D, GURPs, RuneQuest, Middle Earth, Chill, StreetFighter, Ars Magicka, Vampire the Masquerade, Robotech, Star Trek and a host of other RPgs too) without the RPG sessions (no pals of similar wavelength, unfortunately), playing basketball at school (which I suck at) or, playing 'chess' like games. While I'm not good enough to represent my school, I can play well. Most people who knew me then say that my lack of concentration is my downfall. To cut the story short, he underestimated my playing level and was rather easily checkmated. Then another guy took me on and lost 2 games in a row. And finally, with a vengence, the first guy took me on again...............and lost. All 4 games I played black. I wonder if I still know how to play white. Not too much to worry though, I don't think they do either...(inner chuckle). Though I hope I didn't beat them too badly, because then no one would want to play with me again (and another many years of no chess to play)...


3) I have just cracked my head for 4 hours figuring out what to pack for my 2 PPV matches; GOLDBerg VS Undertaker; and Two Man Power Trip VS Edge & Christian. While the earlier sees me defending the Raw Intercontinental Belt, the latter has me as the Number 1 contender for their Raw Tag Team Belt. The stress was further compounded by me forgetting to bring home my Hardcore Molly deck, which held key cards for both my decks (For those in the know, i.e. Volley This!). Thus I am forced to build decks with the possibility of not being able to access certain cards, and much more difficult is the fact that both decks are RAW and share certain Premium cards (like all my GRAs!). Headache!!!!!

4) (will I have 7 points to write.....Hmmm????)

No!. And I'm tired. Will signoff here. Pray I Take Care of Undertaker Business and show how I know Edge & Christian.

(neck hurts!)

DDDDDDD Pressed

Ran my first CCG tournament yesterday. Not with Magic the Gathering, but Raw Deal (if you've been reading this, it should be obvious). Surprised to get 14 players when I thought getting 12 was impossible. Guess the prizes were good attraction. Oh, and getting 14 players were a problem as the tournament support was only good for 12. Had an opportunity to fix it, but couldn't. Tough luck.

I actually completed the tournament early (like by 6pm) for a 5 round tornament that cuts to top four. Guess 30 minute rounds are significantly faster than 50 minute rounds (what, you can calculate anymore meh? It's obvious, right?) In general, it was quite good a tourney.

However, I failed on 2 counts:

1) I failed to deliver as promised to provide everyone with a That's Balance promo card. It was meant that everyone joining the tournament would get one but the kit/support catered only for 12. So much for trying to push for more attendance. Damn.

2) I failed to rule properly when required. Made an ass of myself when I helped a Rock player by ruling against his opponent, resulting the match to draw. Later, when the opponent (who played the Phenom, an Undertaker remake (Which I hate! I don't know why)) recalled the ruling to other players, my mistake blew up on my face. Ouch! Better buck up to avoid further embaressment. If only Raw Deal had comprehensive rules like MTG. Or is it because I didn't read up enough? Must improve. Must.

Oh, it didn't help how I was reminded of my mistakes. it felt like I was an amateur. There was this group of players ranting away their dissatisfaction after the tournament was over (they were the winner and finalist, who unfortunately were the victims of the 14 player attendance (that I couldn't fix)) and how I failed to act in good faith over certain the prize support. They were also unhappy over certain decisions made about the next tournament I plan to organise. All I could do was sit and listen. Luckily they got tired and we all went for dinner! (he he, food is always good misdirection).

But just a couple of hours ago I saw a post on a forum referencing to the tournament (by the winner) and again the failures were highlighted. I felt crucified. Staked. Couple that with the shit I am getting in the Office (which, ahem isn't entirely not my fault), I took 4 hours and hit back. Now I need to prepare for the worst. Defy!!!!!

So here I am again, depressed and confused to why I constantly put myself in this position. Let's review:

1) I like to organise tournaments. I enjoy most when everyone get to have loads of fun while I sit back and watch. I do this at video arcades too, which explains why I could spend hours there without spending a sigle cent. Now there's PC games, so I don't need to do that anymore.

2) I hated the fact that dem damn Singaporeans (Malaysians, if you forward this Blog to Singaporeans, I'll Suicide Head Butt you!!!) had access to so many Raw Deal cards, a majority of them promos, while us Malaysians watched in awe. (Also should comment that I didn't like them having a better collection than I did, but that's another story). So running tournaments was a way for me to help fix this.

3) I can't take stress. I have taken stress test before and failed miserably. Wait a minute, this isn't a valid point? There's more stress running tournaments than playing them!

4) I hope to make a living from this. Then I can screw work and run tournaments full time. Yippee!! (erm. Excuse me? Raw Deal don't give you money for the work. Eventually I'm suppose to get the promos, but that's only if I survive this for more than 3 months. Oh, no money. Remember that. I need to pay for the support, remember (hint, USD 25 for the TKits?))

5) I like to be the centre of attention. Everyone needs to listen to me when I announce rounds, make rulings, bla bla bla..Yeah, That's right. I am the King of the World!! (I didn't just write that, did I? Stupid JellyKoh). What King of the world? This isn't Magic, where they have Judge levels to show my ability to make rulings. And my blunder was low. Real low. (Where's that rat hole?)

6) I get to be part of the shop. Well, for like 5 hours, anyway...Hmmm.. I smell a need to fit in....(Must defy, must defy). (What part of the shop am I apart of? Stop hallucinating, ok?)

7) I must be bored silly. hmmm....Best possible reason of the 7.

Discounting the non reasons, I guess I now know why I am doing it. How long can I do it, I don't know. If players continue to be ungrateful (luckily 'they' aren't, yet), I may just throw down the towel.

Life sucks..........And life goes on.......................................................................................................................

What happened after WrestleMania XXI

It was a good show. Fine entertainment for 4 hours. Granted some of the matches were a bore, i.e. Cena VS JBL, Big Show and some Sumo wrestler, etc... But the matches between Kurt Angle and Shawn Michaels, 6 Man Money in the Bag Ladder Match and, ofcourse, HHH and the current World Heavyweight Title Champ, BATISTA were great matches. That was a superb show from the start (ring entrances) 'till finish (Batista Bomb on HHH). I have to admit, I was routing for Batista all the time.

You see, fyi to those who aren't into Wrestling, Batista (new upstart wrestler) was HHH (veteran wrestler) understudy in a team known as Evolution, of which 1 member has already left (Randy Orton, also young upstart wrestler). During the buildup to WrestleMania XXI, Batista challenged HHH for the World Heavyweight Title (If you don't know, sports in rings love heavyweight stuff, so lightweight stuff just don't bring on the power) @ WrestleMania XXI. While the challenge was Paid (signed-off), Laid (on contract) & Made (Fixed Venue & Date), it was still a number of weeks before the final confrontation. So wrestling enthusiast had the opportunity to see how Batista condition himself for the match (no, not by showing his gym routines, but his in-ring speeches and other matches) and also see how HHH was reeling off the prospect of being beaten (RAW) by BATISTA.

And BATISTA won. And kept the title the next day as well (Oh, title matches ususally have a rematch clause and it is usually used the next day). But enough talk about WrestleMania XXI. Let's talk about the other things that happened.

One of my long time fueds is my GOLDBerg (talking about the Raw Deal Wrestling game here) and Andy's (another RAW DEAL player) Jellykoh (Actually known as Chris Jericho, but I have given him the nickname out of sheer disgust). There has been many encounters between us, and most often our meetings have been dissapointing for me. However, while he beats me regularly in tournaments, JellyKoh hasn't really won any tournaments, unlike GOLDBerg. So, after weeks of trash talking and dissing, it was decided we would go one on one to settle this fued (Yeah right...We were just looking for another excuse to fight!). (WARNING!!! Significant references to RAW DEAL game up ahead.)

Our duels with each other is of such multitude that we are constantly looking to outwit each other during prematch. My latest counter for Hell in a Cell Match was Vince McMahon, GRA. However, in the last tournament he outwitted me with Will You Please Shut Up, causing me to start with a hand of 2 cards (sue to GGGGOOOOLLLLDDDD.......Berg). My inability to recover my hand resulted in GOLDBerg hit with Victory Roll without any fortitude.

That was to change. While I knew I had to counter Hell in a Cell Match (HiaCM), I also know that starting with 2 cards is not gonna cut it for me. So I went for a different angle and chose to go with 2 belts, drop a WrestleMania (during WrestleMania!!) and outlast his prematches so that my Vince GRA can come in and blank HiaCM instead of Indian Strap Match (FYI, he would play Indian Strap Match first, bait out my Vince GRA and then drop Summer Slam and HiaCM later to avoid the blanking effect). All went as plan and I dropped:

Little Rock, Arkansas (yes, I went Volley),
no fued.. Backstage Politics
no stip Indian Strap Match
Managed by Steph none
World HeavyWeight Title Belt Will You Please Shut Up
I've Had More Championships than You've had Women Not Today CupCake

At this point, I was completely destroyed in terms of Prematch as I no longer have slots to play when he blanked I've Had More Championships than You've had Women. His last prematch was I Don't Care About Heat.

However, I got to start with 8 cards in hand and by playing volley (which is so good agianst heat decks), GOLDBerg Cold-Cocked JellyKoh!!!! (FYI, Cold-Cocked is a Raw Deal card, not some term used to describe victory).

Then I proceeded to play in a triple threat match as Brock Lesnar against John Cena and Eugene. Both of them seemed to have comboed against my deck with HiaCM and Cena's Yo! Kill the Beat!. Since then, I decided Lesnar would be a spectator rather than a wrestler for that match and allowned Eugene to pin Cena. (Cena, you lying SOB, you deserve losing to a retard!!!!)

Away from Raw Deal references, the gang also brought along PS2 and we had several games of soccer. Since I didn't know how to play, I was trashed....But it was fun.

Then I realised I have been awake for more than 36 hours, so decided to leave an made a move to be in the best place when you're tired. Bed. My own Bed.

Enough about that Monday.......May I find more things to write sooner.......

Time passing by

Lately I haven't been motivated....Other than playing Raw Deal, ofcourse. The reason is simply that I am loosing my current resonsibilities soon yet still I have to perform my daily functions. No Motivation at all. Zilch.

Been trying to think of what to post here, even thought about debating why women love money more than men......Then decided i don't want to put my head up for the Guillotine. Maybe next time, when I am in better mood and have more time to think about the topic, I would.

Coming Monday I will be watching WrestleMania XXI at another Raw Deal players house (that Fiezan, for those who know). It's the first time I am watching this kind of live Wrestling. To think that 24 months ago, I would criticised the WWE shows for being fake/made up. Now, the main attraction is the Made -Up parts, the soap-opera styled stories, the fueds, the 'Backstage Politics'........Sure, the wrestling can be entertaining sometimes, especially if you see them really wrestling their hearts out and no fake flops, expressions and what nots. However, most of the time the wrestling is as fake as the actions around it. Which is why the 'off' Ring events are more entertaining than the 'on' Ring ones. You know its fake. Like Movies. Good fake.

In the ring, you expect real fighting. Real Pain. Real Moves. Then you see a chop in the chest and the whole crowd goes "woooo", and you see the receipient shrieking in pain......Yeah right...

Not forgetting to mention are some Fueds back for my Raw Deal pals and I. Me, I have 2 match-ups for 2 different Superstars (Apologies, this portion may not mean much to non- Raw Deal players). All this will happen while we watch WrestleMania XXI. Will write more about it after Monday morning....If I can remember the events.

As mentioned in the post earlier, I have been having poor memory these days. Coupled with lack of motivation to excel, life has been," Wake Up.........Have lunch.......Have dinner.....Sleep" and most of the other events that happen during the day, fade away. Hopefully this will not last too long. Need to get over it...Need to....Really....(Talking to myself here)

Going on without topic.....Must stop or dangerous information may get posted without knowledge....now...