I can't help it! ( Conspiracy Theory ahead!!)

With all this talk about why Zidane decided to head butt his way to a red card and a World Cup Finals' Final send-off....I just feel compelled to tell my side of the story (haha, like I was there to have a side of the story..)

Why Zidane Head Butted Marco Materazzi:

At half time Zidane was in the dressing room when he called his publicist.

Zidane: Hey, I don't think I can win this for France. But since the whole world knows I'm retiring from foootball, I won't have a chance to make my mark in football history if I don't do something great now..
Publicist: Look, you can always come out of come out of retirement. Euro 2008 is just 2 years away...
Zidane: I can't..I don't think I'm up to this level of football anymore...
Publicist: Look, it's level now, you 've got another 45 minutes to be the man...
Zidane: And what if I fail? It's not like my teammates will step up to the plate...
Publicist: Hey, you're a smart man..Use your head. You'll think of something to be etched in World Cup History...

And so Zidane ponders how is he going to make that happen...After the match ended 1-1 in 90 minutes, with Viera out, Zidane is even more concerned he's losing out on making WC history..." Must find a way...Must use my head...."

1st half of extra-time sees Trezeguet subbed in and Henry subbed out (not for each other). Zidane is extremely anxious now as he doesn't have henry to pass to and everyone knows Trezeguet had score for nuts in World Cups...Zidane realises he must, more now than ever, take the game in his own hands and make a mark for himself..

An opportunity arises and he gets a free-header with a thundering shot on goal. But Buffon was up to it! "Your head is not good enough!" Shouts Buffon as he recovers from palming away Zidane's bullet header. Zidane is running out of ideas.." My publicist says to use my head..And I did..But it isn't working!!" Zidane thinks to himself..." What else can I sue my head for?? (we all know the end result, but stay for a moment, ok..)

Then came the EPIPHANY....Marco Materazzi decides to 'molest' Zidane and as Zidane looks back at him, Zidane thinks " hey, that chest looks tough..Wonder if I could..." ( Of course, what Zidane says isn't what he thinks.. MM decides to insult Zidane further and finallt Zidane gets it " I'm suppose to use my head..Yeah, that what I'll do!!" Zidane turns around, headbutts MM in the chest and MM goes falling like a Flair Flop...Must have had some Sports Entertainment training...

And after that is history..Zidane makes a mark for himself in WC history..People talk about him as much as they talk about WC winners Italy...And as far as his publicist is concerned, all in the name of free publicity and Zidane did use his head, as advised!!