Not so much an Epiphany

I was driving back early last Friday from work. Early as in around 4.30pm or so. The intention was solely to avoid the jam.

Taking my usual route, where at a point I will be on a 4 lane main road, I was flabergasted that there was a jam. I was on the second lane (from the right) which was one of 2 lanes that leads to the next road on my way back home. The other lane that also leads straight to the next road for me was the fast lane, which at this point wasn't moving all that fast either. The 3rd and 4th lane were options, but near the end of the road I would have to cut back in and in a jam, that's generally not a nice thing to do.

But who says I'm nice? :p

But my ability to decide on what lane to swerve into was limited by the fact that 2 vehicles in front of me was this big lorry obscuring my view. Without the ability to see further up front, I could not really tell if the lanes on my left were actually freer and would be feasible to take those lanes, at least all the way until the end. I could only see the cars zooming by, but without photographic memory i couldn't tell for sure if I've seen those cars before and that my slow crawl towards the end of the road, at some point I may have actually took over them. I manage to check that the fast lane was moving slower than me at the moment.

Throwing the idea of taking the left lanes so that I can get out of the jam sooner and staying on the same lane and just waiting it out, I failed to capitalise on all the opportunities that came and went to take the left lanes. Eventually even the car in front of me left. Now I am directly behind the lorry, further impairing my view up ahead. I have been on the lane for over 15 minutes and was still awhile before I reached the end of the road. Usually this stretch takes less than 3 minutes to get through, now it seems like it's taking forever. My impatience got the better of me eventually and I ended up not taking the left lanes, but taking the fast lane when I noticed that the car I was tracking was no longer around or behind me.

After a 30 minute crawl it seems like the whole thing was a result of an accident way in front..

So what's with the epiphany?

Here's life, or a situation. There are typically a few ways I can get through life/situation; The unpreferred way(slow lane), the tried and tested way(s) (middle lanes), or high risk way(fast lane). Depending on what type of person I am and also depending how I wanted to get through life/situation, I would be in the lane you're most comfortable.

But what happens when I'm caught in a jam? When the lane I'm on isn't progressing the way I expected it? I'd look around and see if the other lanes would give me a better option. Now, the standard expectation is that the slow lanes will always be slow and the fast lane will be faster. But in a jam, I'd never know really. Depending on what's causing the jam, what is the fastest lane could very well be the slowest, and vice versa. That's what looking further ahead helps. As well as looking at other options.

There comes the next stumbling block. What if that BIG FAT LORRY is right in front of me? I can't look forward and can only assess the lanes (options) based on what I can see beside me (present) and behind me (past). Will I take a risk? If I do, which risk will I take? More importantly, will I be indecisive and spend too much time wondering if I should switch lanes (options) and end up spending too much time getting stuck behind that BIG LORRY?

Now, there's no telling that the other lanes will be faster, aside from what I can judge now and what I know of the lanes before. So I could very well switch and end up in a bigger jam that I did before. But the moral of the story is that if I don't try them out, I'll never know. All I'll ever see is this big fat Lorry blocking my way and for all I know, the whole jam could have been because of the lorry. I couldn't see in front, how could I tell?

In conclusion, life can be like a drive down a road. When in a jam and there's no telling if the lane you're on will get you to your destination (in time), assess your options and make a decision quickly. More importantly, once the decision is made, stick to the results and quit blaming/regretting the decision. If the choice garnered a poorer result, reassess; Switch lanes again if you have too. The only thing that would have happened was your continued attempt to find the best lane. Unless you're happy being stuck behind the big fat lorry...There is nothing wrong with being happy...:D

I'm happy behind the big fat lorry in life, but not when I'm driving.. :D

45 days ago...

Was my last blog entry...

I just haven't been feeling like blogging. While that's shoould mean that things aren't stressful or depressing for me, it unfortunately isn't. Just that the depression is cope-able......

In any case, a chance meeting with good old Barry after like maybe months....was truly enjoyable. Though I'm not so sure about his significant other..hehe...We actually went to a Japanese restaurant that, in my recollection, was probably the first Japanese restaurant I went to. I also recall that he was the one who brought me there, back a good 12/13 years ago..

The good old days. When money was scarce but all the experience was enjoyable. Where travelling hours on busses were acceptable and having to wait 15 minutes isn't such a waste of time...

Now I may have more money but I have lost my patience, lost my appreciation for many things I used to...

Need to keep those feet firmly planted on the ground....


Oh, another person quoted that a person should be focusing on the revenue, not the expenses in a way to obtain what they want in life. Well, that only works for things that you can buy with money and it will be a never ending cycle of always wanting more because you keep on wanting to get more. That school of thought, while seemingly positive and progressive, leads people to a never ending cycle where needs are never met. I still prefer the 'pessimist' school of thought, where it's not about getting all that you want or the endless pursuit of them, but a decision to curtail those wants so that life can stop somewhere. Because while our thoughts seems endless, our lives aren't. There's no point having and endless search and hunt for things when I can't stop and smell my flowers.

I'd rather have just one pot of flowers, but I spend the rest of my time nuturing and admiring that one pot of flowers. I don't want to be going after a plot of land, acres of flowers yet never have the time to enjoy the beauty of the flowers since it's a never ending task to maintain those acres of flowers. Oh, having other people maintaining it for you may seem to be the answer, but if you aren't the person doing it, then those flowers really don't belong to you. You own them, but they don't belong to you. For the ones spending their sweat and blood are the ones actually doing the work, not some hotshot manager pointing the fingers to have things done....

hmm...I should have another go at positive thinking sometime...But not today..Today I should continue working on my pot of flowers...