for not posting for quite awhile. Been having such busy weeks at work, haven't found the time nor the topic to post.
Bought myself a keyboard last sunday, cost me about RM 600.00. It was cool at first, and cheaper than I thought, but after a week of use I realised it's not good enough..
But "nasi dah jadi bubur", so I'll have to stick with my beginner keyboard.....sob..sob..
Since then I have managed to remember what I knew how to play (and that's not a lot at all, i think it's just 2 piece)...And I plan to move on the the 2nd reason why I bought the keyboard....
by jan next year (which is 9 days away)..
Hopefully I'll be able to post the MIDI versions here (or somewhere) in 6 months time. Then anyone here can feedback.... haha..
I hope to have nicer things to write after this weekend as X'mas gives oppotunities for the youth to grow up and the grown-ups to be kids again...Interesting....
Till then.....
Friday, December 23, 2005
Sunday, December 04, 2005
Night of the Stars
On Friday it'was my company dinner. Men wore like hip hop stars, women just dressed nicely. Granted, not every woman looks good when they go for the broke, but you can't fault them for trying. They have the right to what they want to wear, as long as they're willing to be seen wearing them.
One of my female colleague wore a true bareback, the kind that reveals the back all the way to the waist, and it was truly an elegant dress. My pick for the night. Kudos for the taste.
There was a line up for people to take a 'mugshot' of sorts, of which is suppose to be a memento for them of that night. Me, being the anarch that I try to be, chose to dress against the theme, turning up in boring collar T and pants. At first ignored the whole photo thingy, however halfway through the event I gave in and took a mugshot of the horrible looking me..
Fun fact, I was showing a mad face but the picture looked like I was smiling with glee! What????
I left early, as there were certain individuals that I need to dodge from.....shouldn't mention it here, remember???
One of my female colleague wore a true bareback, the kind that reveals the back all the way to the waist, and it was truly an elegant dress. My pick for the night. Kudos for the taste.
There was a line up for people to take a 'mugshot' of sorts, of which is suppose to be a memento for them of that night. Me, being the anarch that I try to be, chose to dress against the theme, turning up in boring collar T and pants. At first ignored the whole photo thingy, however halfway through the event I gave in and took a mugshot of the horrible looking me..
Fun fact, I was showing a mad face but the picture looked like I was smiling with glee! What????
I left early, as there were certain individuals that I need to dodge from.....shouldn't mention it here, remember???
Sunday, November 27, 2005
Of weddings and findings
Pre-Post:
Never go to a Chinese Wedding Dinner in my country on time. If they say it starts at 7pm, it's likely to start at nine. Less you are going with your sig-other, or a bunch of friends who'll spare you of a movie length of boredom, take my advise.
Post:
Went to a wedding last night. It was one of my colleague, and I must say the couple looks good together. Surely a match to envy. But I'm not really keen to post about the bride & groom. I'd like to write on my observations during the wedding.
First of, it was a chinese wedding dinner, at a hotel. It wasn't an expensive hotel, so the banquet area was quite big. I guess that's the economics, lavish hotel, smaller banquet, reverse when applicable.
Food was ok, standard 8-10 course meal (oops, don't even remember how many dishes there were, probably due to alcohol consumption), which was delayed as the 'VIPs' (bride & groom) were late. Me being me, I arrived o time only to suffer boredom for a good 1/2 hour before entetainment began showing up.
And this entertainment came rather unexpectedly (or it's just me being naive). The ladies (those aged 16-40s) started turning up with more, and even more cleavage revealing dresses. Some of these ladies I know, especilly those at work, but to see them dress up this way......
I don't know, and i shouldn't be complaining, but it was as though there was a unmentioned competition amongst them.....Who's got more to reveal, and who dares to reveal more.. I mean, legs you don't see a whole lot, but cleavage......
Don't they know that alcohol will be served? And that some men will loose their inhibitions (or pretend to loose them) and go all out to, 'get more'? Wait, why do I even worry, since it is this 'sets' that opens the opportunity for relationships to form. As for myself, I chose to focus more on F&B than the 'other' entertainment. Don't want to get myself into trouble.
Whatever it is, I just hope that they realise that when you're dressed to be seen, expect looks comin your way. And you don't get to choose who looks. It can be the cutest guy yu'd probably want to date and be with for the rest of your life, to some lowlife 60+ old man still trying to revive his manhood. I personally believe women should be allowed to wear whatever their comfortable (men too, but we're less adventurous on this area) with, and it's the people who see them who should have the right mental state and control. If you can't handle it, don't look.
Oh well, left te wedding right after the food ran out (course dinners alwas serves dessert as the last dish, so that's a good time to go), so I didn't stick around for more action. I'm pretty sure many others got drunk, and some of them were single (not necessary available) females that the men work so had to get them high, which should lead to more interesting stories. I'll just wait to hear about them when I get back to work.
Never go to a Chinese Wedding Dinner in my country on time. If they say it starts at 7pm, it's likely to start at nine. Less you are going with your sig-other, or a bunch of friends who'll spare you of a movie length of boredom, take my advise.
Post:
Went to a wedding last night. It was one of my colleague, and I must say the couple looks good together. Surely a match to envy. But I'm not really keen to post about the bride & groom. I'd like to write on my observations during the wedding.
First of, it was a chinese wedding dinner, at a hotel. It wasn't an expensive hotel, so the banquet area was quite big. I guess that's the economics, lavish hotel, smaller banquet, reverse when applicable.
Food was ok, standard 8-10 course meal (oops, don't even remember how many dishes there were, probably due to alcohol consumption), which was delayed as the 'VIPs' (bride & groom) were late. Me being me, I arrived o time only to suffer boredom for a good 1/2 hour before entetainment began showing up.
And this entertainment came rather unexpectedly (or it's just me being naive). The ladies (those aged 16-40s) started turning up with more, and even more cleavage revealing dresses. Some of these ladies I know, especilly those at work, but to see them dress up this way......
I don't know, and i shouldn't be complaining, but it was as though there was a unmentioned competition amongst them.....Who's got more to reveal, and who dares to reveal more.. I mean, legs you don't see a whole lot, but cleavage......
Don't they know that alcohol will be served? And that some men will loose their inhibitions (or pretend to loose them) and go all out to, 'get more'? Wait, why do I even worry, since it is this 'sets' that opens the opportunity for relationships to form. As for myself, I chose to focus more on F&B than the 'other' entertainment. Don't want to get myself into trouble.
Whatever it is, I just hope that they realise that when you're dressed to be seen, expect looks comin your way. And you don't get to choose who looks. It can be the cutest guy yu'd probably want to date and be with for the rest of your life, to some lowlife 60+ old man still trying to revive his manhood. I personally believe women should be allowed to wear whatever their comfortable (men too, but we're less adventurous on this area) with, and it's the people who see them who should have the right mental state and control. If you can't handle it, don't look.
Oh well, left te wedding right after the food ran out (course dinners alwas serves dessert as the last dish, so that's a good time to go), so I didn't stick around for more action. I'm pretty sure many others got drunk, and some of them were single (not necessary available) females that the men work so had to get them high, which should lead to more interesting stories. I'll just wait to hear about them when I get back to work.
Friday, November 18, 2005
Controversy (Part II)
Early this week, Eddie Guerrero from WWE died of unknown causes. On Monday Night RAW (shown on tuesday night in Malaysia), the show paid tribute to the wrestler of 15 years with many of his peers wrestling with him in mind, and some of his peers giving their thoughts of him on video.
So what has this got to do with my controvesy? Imagine grown men crying on air. And these aren't just normal men, these are SuperStars! What more, they're wrestling superstars!!!
Remember the thing I mentioned about women expecting their men to be macho and strong, yet sensitive? These are the nincompoops that give women that false hope. Big macho and strong men crying over a dead colleague. Real men don't cry, at least not in public. THose who need publicity stints, however, cry whenever a sad tale is heard...Just to show their sensitive side.
Again, real men don't cry in public. In private, even the strongest and insensitive men will cry. In public, no.
And there you have it. It may not really be the women's fault that their expectation of men have grown by so much....sigh....
So what has this got to do with my controvesy? Imagine grown men crying on air. And these aren't just normal men, these are SuperStars! What more, they're wrestling superstars!!!
Remember the thing I mentioned about women expecting their men to be macho and strong, yet sensitive? These are the nincompoops that give women that false hope. Big macho and strong men crying over a dead colleague. Real men don't cry, at least not in public. THose who need publicity stints, however, cry whenever a sad tale is heard...Just to show their sensitive side.
Again, real men don't cry in public. In private, even the strongest and insensitive men will cry. In public, no.
And there you have it. It may not really be the women's fault that their expectation of men have grown by so much....sigh....
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Controvesy (Part1)
Watched the Myth the other day, starring Jackie Chan. Gist of the story has 1 male General who risks life and limb to protect his emperor's concubine dutifully. The concubine finds true love in him, however fate has it that they are not meant to be.
What's the controvesy??
It got me thinking on male-female relationships, the selfish one. Some people I know refer it to BGR. From our history books, as well as movies and stories protraying our past, the criteria for a female partner are:
1) Pretty, if not prettiest of the land. Feel free to swap it with great body, well endowed, etc.. Ultimately it's the looks.
2) Youth....Sweet sixteen...
3) There is a 3rd criteria?????
The criteria for a male partner is:
1) Strong & Manly (Subject to female interpretation; stregth and manly doesn't always refer to physical traits)
2) Willing to die for the damsel/love
3) What 3rd criteria???
Now, fast foward to the 21st century.
Criteria for a female partner:
1) Pretty, if not prettiest of the land. Feel free to swap it with great body, well endowed, etc.. Ultimately it's the looks.
2) Youth....Probably not 16, since it a little dangerous if the female turns out to be a minor, but in general female of age less than the searching male. As the male grow older, somehow the age of his partner remains relatively the same.
Exempli Gratia: 24 y.o. male marries 18 y.o. female. Age difference = 6 years.
48 y.o. male marries 24 y.o female. Age difference = 24 years.
Go figure.
3) There isn't really a 3rd criteria, really...If someone meets the criteria above, especially the looks part, the guy's most definitely a goner....
Now, the criteria for a male partner, however:
1) Strong and Manly (Still subject to female interpretation)
2) Materially capable (and I'm not even saying filthy rich, ok!)
3) Sensitive (Huh? Strong, Manly, sensitive???)
4) Ravishingly good looking (Some girls will deny this, but let's face it, good looking men have it so easy...)
5) Funny (but not a clown.)
6) Good in bed (again, women will deny this but we all know how men with excellent bed manners can control their women like pawns.)
7) With clear goals/dreams in life. Men that idle doing nothing but their everyday routine tend to be single. Real single.
And the list goes on. You see, the thing is, over the years, or centuries, what men look for in women haven't really changed. Ok, the physical measurements may have differred, but it's still the physical outlook. Ohter than that, really, anything goes. Once the men cannot tolerate what they expect women will do, then they find the next partner. FYI, men looknig for partners tend to be rather tolerant.
On the other hand, men have since neede to upskill themselves to attract their women. And this upskilling is resulting in the dying of the male species. Look at the ration of men & women in the world population. Life as a women is tough, as you have so much to do, but you know what it is, and unless you chose otherwise status quo works just fine for you. Men, sorry. Lag behind in meeting their criteria and you lose out.
Oh, I think I better disclaim here, this is by no way a measure of how the BGR turns out to be a successful one (which usually spells M-A-R-R-I-A-G-E), but just how the initial contact, the ice breaker, is decided.
I know, it's just another sorry loser complaining about not getting any! (You think?)
What's the controvesy??
It got me thinking on male-female relationships, the selfish one. Some people I know refer it to BGR. From our history books, as well as movies and stories protraying our past, the criteria for a female partner are:
1) Pretty, if not prettiest of the land. Feel free to swap it with great body, well endowed, etc.. Ultimately it's the looks.
2) Youth....Sweet sixteen...
3) There is a 3rd criteria?????
The criteria for a male partner is:
1) Strong & Manly (Subject to female interpretation; stregth and manly doesn't always refer to physical traits)
2) Willing to die for the damsel/love
3) What 3rd criteria???
Now, fast foward to the 21st century.
Criteria for a female partner:
1) Pretty, if not prettiest of the land. Feel free to swap it with great body, well endowed, etc.. Ultimately it's the looks.
2) Youth....Probably not 16, since it a little dangerous if the female turns out to be a minor, but in general female of age less than the searching male. As the male grow older, somehow the age of his partner remains relatively the same.
Exempli Gratia: 24 y.o. male marries 18 y.o. female. Age difference = 6 years.
48 y.o. male marries 24 y.o female. Age difference = 24 years.
Go figure.
3) There isn't really a 3rd criteria, really...If someone meets the criteria above, especially the looks part, the guy's most definitely a goner....
Now, the criteria for a male partner, however:
1) Strong and Manly (Still subject to female interpretation)
2) Materially capable (and I'm not even saying filthy rich, ok!)
3) Sensitive (Huh? Strong, Manly, sensitive???)
4) Ravishingly good looking (Some girls will deny this, but let's face it, good looking men have it so easy...)
5) Funny (but not a clown.)
6) Good in bed (again, women will deny this but we all know how men with excellent bed manners can control their women like pawns.)
7) With clear goals/dreams in life. Men that idle doing nothing but their everyday routine tend to be single. Real single.
And the list goes on. You see, the thing is, over the years, or centuries, what men look for in women haven't really changed. Ok, the physical measurements may have differred, but it's still the physical outlook. Ohter than that, really, anything goes. Once the men cannot tolerate what they expect women will do, then they find the next partner. FYI, men looknig for partners tend to be rather tolerant.
On the other hand, men have since neede to upskill themselves to attract their women. And this upskilling is resulting in the dying of the male species. Look at the ration of men & women in the world population. Life as a women is tough, as you have so much to do, but you know what it is, and unless you chose otherwise status quo works just fine for you. Men, sorry. Lag behind in meeting their criteria and you lose out.
Oh, I think I better disclaim here, this is by no way a measure of how the BGR turns out to be a successful one (which usually spells M-A-R-R-I-A-G-E), but just how the initial contact, the ice breaker, is decided.
I know, it's just another sorry loser complaining about not getting any! (You think?)
Monday, October 31, 2005
I drank at a party???
I have to admit, last saturday, I actually drank liquor at a party. It was the first party I had the opportunity to go to with the folks at my favourite hangout store, Wolf's Games Shop. I do confess, I really wasn't sure why there was a party (I was informed originaly that it was for Wolf, but then it turned out it was for a host of other October babies, like my dad, my younger brother, etc.. :) ) and was informed of it by sheer concern of my Raw Deal Marketing Manager, Ms. Triona Lydia Leo at the eleventh hour as I was suppose to hold a tournament the next day (Oops, fragment).
Now, for people who don't know me (well enough), I do not drink beer, or any equivelant drink. If it's liquor, that's fine, but no beer. I just don't like it, period. I'm also a poor drinker, whereby a few drinks (i.e. 3+) should put me to sleep. And I don't get high from alcohol, but a kind of pain, which is why I have always said, "I will not replace 1 pain with another", i.e. No drowning of my emotional/mental anguish with alcohol and get myself physical pain.
Oh, I didn't drink for that either, that night. I drank because I was involved in a drinking game, which was, in my honest opinion, a lame excuse to drink as a penalty. The game had us taking 1 card each from a deck of cards, and the biggest card decides who needs to drink 1 shot of the available liquor. Then the victim gets to make up a new rule, in which case almost everyone decided to restrict speech freedom (e.g. Can't say drink, pass, etc.) Eventually, 1 round could have 5-10 shots being drunk by 1 or more persons, resulting in a single round lasting 10 minutes or so. And all everyone had to do is to keep their mouth shut. But then again, we all needed an excuse to drink.....I mean, they all.....really...
In any case, I didn't have to drink until half way through, when I said the 'illegal' words twice and downed 2 shots in a go. Subsequently I made several more mistakes and took about 6-7 shots in total. I wasn't wasted, but I like to act like I am. Otherwise people wouldn't give up on me.
What else happened during the party:
1) We watched EPL and was more keen on players playing well than the result itself.
2) I drafted my first Ravnica (M:tG) and lost due to mana screw. If not, I would have won on my first draft (wishful thinking)
3) Many people played twisters. I wanted to, but then wasn't sure I'd keep my hormones in check if I did, so abstinence is good prevention. There were girls at the party playing twisters, ok!
4) 3 chicks puked, though I can't recall if any of the guys did as well. I expected myself to puke, but I didn't. Not too sure why...
5) There's this couple that let 1/2 of the couple smooch another for everyone's view (including the said half). All in all I think they smooched like 5 times, at least. After the second one, it kinda got boring......Oh, nothing elsed happened....Or I'm not telling it here. You figure it out yourself.
6) Someone brought his new X-Box but didn't get to play it until like, 4am in the morning because there were football first, and then drunkards lying on the floor in front of the TV later. Eventually they moved away to, a) puke, b) puke, c) lie somewhere else.
7) We had a lot's of pizza. Rephrase. I had a lot of pizza. In total maybe about 10 slices over to feeding sessions. One when the pizzas arrived, about 10pm, and another at about 1am...
So all in all I had fun at the party. For once it wasn't a drinking party, where everyone was just trying to get everyone else drunk, though I know there were a few persons who wanted to get there. I hope I get to join them again for the New Year party, but we'll talk about that when we get there in 2 months time.
Till then, being sober is good. Being sober when everyone thinks your drunk is way better!
Now, for people who don't know me (well enough), I do not drink beer, or any equivelant drink. If it's liquor, that's fine, but no beer. I just don't like it, period. I'm also a poor drinker, whereby a few drinks (i.e. 3+) should put me to sleep. And I don't get high from alcohol, but a kind of pain, which is why I have always said, "I will not replace 1 pain with another", i.e. No drowning of my emotional/mental anguish with alcohol and get myself physical pain.
Oh, I didn't drink for that either, that night. I drank because I was involved in a drinking game, which was, in my honest opinion, a lame excuse to drink as a penalty. The game had us taking 1 card each from a deck of cards, and the biggest card decides who needs to drink 1 shot of the available liquor. Then the victim gets to make up a new rule, in which case almost everyone decided to restrict speech freedom (e.g. Can't say drink, pass, etc.) Eventually, 1 round could have 5-10 shots being drunk by 1 or more persons, resulting in a single round lasting 10 minutes or so. And all everyone had to do is to keep their mouth shut. But then again, we all needed an excuse to drink.....I mean, they all.....really...
In any case, I didn't have to drink until half way through, when I said the 'illegal' words twice and downed 2 shots in a go. Subsequently I made several more mistakes and took about 6-7 shots in total. I wasn't wasted, but I like to act like I am. Otherwise people wouldn't give up on me.
What else happened during the party:
1) We watched EPL and was more keen on players playing well than the result itself.
2) I drafted my first Ravnica (M:tG) and lost due to mana screw. If not, I would have won on my first draft (wishful thinking)
3) Many people played twisters. I wanted to, but then wasn't sure I'd keep my hormones in check if I did, so abstinence is good prevention. There were girls at the party playing twisters, ok!
4) 3 chicks puked, though I can't recall if any of the guys did as well. I expected myself to puke, but I didn't. Not too sure why...
5) There's this couple that let 1/2 of the couple smooch another for everyone's view (including the said half). All in all I think they smooched like 5 times, at least. After the second one, it kinda got boring......Oh, nothing elsed happened....Or I'm not telling it here. You figure it out yourself.
6) Someone brought his new X-Box but didn't get to play it until like, 4am in the morning because there were football first, and then drunkards lying on the floor in front of the TV later. Eventually they moved away to, a) puke, b) puke, c) lie somewhere else.
7) We had a lot's of pizza. Rephrase. I had a lot of pizza. In total maybe about 10 slices over to feeding sessions. One when the pizzas arrived, about 10pm, and another at about 1am...
So all in all I had fun at the party. For once it wasn't a drinking party, where everyone was just trying to get everyone else drunk, though I know there were a few persons who wanted to get there. I hope I get to join them again for the New Year party, but we'll talk about that when we get there in 2 months time.
Till then, being sober is good. Being sober when everyone thinks your drunk is way better!
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Why do I miss it so?
This time the header has nothing to do with what I 'm writing. I really don't know what to write, but I think I should as I haven't written for awhile.
Maybe I should go story telling today. What story will it be?
Why was I a Magic: the Gathering Judge.
For those who knew me a about 5 years ago, I started judging part time in 2000 during KL GP. Despite scoring well below the passing mark of 80 ( I think I got like 68). I got my level 1 that day and thus began my 2 year stint as a somewhat fulltime M:tG Judge.
I enjoyed judging very much, as it allowed me to be part of the game without having to face the hearbreak of loosing it. I'm not too keen in loosing, fyi, and while there are those who choose to see it as a challenge they will take up until they succeed (and then leaving it completely because it's no longer a challenge), I am the type that would rather back-off and fnd another way to enjoy the game and keep an avenue open that in future I may take up the game as a player again (hint hint).
Because of this judging stint, I had valid reasons to visit Singapore & Hong Kong, so I wouldn't say it was anything but a good experience. Eventually, after many tournaments appearing initially as some random judge, and later to being head judge and tournament organiser, I saw a better reason for me to do this; The satisfaction of running the show that everyone else enjoys. Mind you, it was no easy task, as I had to do alot of physical work arranging play areas and running tournaments. Not to mention the extended hours during tournaments, like 7am to 10pm..... And yet after every succesful tournament I would sit back and reflect on the good that I've done to the community...
So why am I an ex-Judge now? The main excuse is that I started to work, and working commitments made it difficult for me to spend those hours making a tournament go smoothly. The actual reason was that I felt betrayed by certain quarters, and lost both the way and the cause. Thus I initiated my exodus in 2003, and hasn't looked back since (lie).
Not too bad for a story from nowhere, huh?
Maybe I should go story telling today. What story will it be?
Why was I a Magic: the Gathering Judge.
For those who knew me a about 5 years ago, I started judging part time in 2000 during KL GP. Despite scoring well below the passing mark of 80 ( I think I got like 68). I got my level 1 that day and thus began my 2 year stint as a somewhat fulltime M:tG Judge.
I enjoyed judging very much, as it allowed me to be part of the game without having to face the hearbreak of loosing it. I'm not too keen in loosing, fyi, and while there are those who choose to see it as a challenge they will take up until they succeed (and then leaving it completely because it's no longer a challenge), I am the type that would rather back-off and fnd another way to enjoy the game and keep an avenue open that in future I may take up the game as a player again (hint hint).
Because of this judging stint, I had valid reasons to visit Singapore & Hong Kong, so I wouldn't say it was anything but a good experience. Eventually, after many tournaments appearing initially as some random judge, and later to being head judge and tournament organiser, I saw a better reason for me to do this; The satisfaction of running the show that everyone else enjoys. Mind you, it was no easy task, as I had to do alot of physical work arranging play areas and running tournaments. Not to mention the extended hours during tournaments, like 7am to 10pm..... And yet after every succesful tournament I would sit back and reflect on the good that I've done to the community...
So why am I an ex-Judge now? The main excuse is that I started to work, and working commitments made it difficult for me to spend those hours making a tournament go smoothly. The actual reason was that I felt betrayed by certain quarters, and lost both the way and the cause. Thus I initiated my exodus in 2003, and hasn't looked back since (lie).
Not too bad for a story from nowhere, huh?
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Evanescence
My fav. band for the moment. I actually spend RM 36.00 to buy the original CD last month... (yes I know, they're a realtive has been now, they were hot a couple of years back).
The reason I bought the CD is because I figured that I would probably like all the songs in the CD, so it would be well worth it. Moreover, I think they deserve my royalty payment....
I have already memorised 5 out of 11 of the songs, and I want to make it at least 10 of 11 before I move on to memorise other songs. FYI, I still remember 9 out of 10 songs of the only other original album I bought, which was Wilson Phillips back in 1990!
I pity the people around me though, how they have to listen to a guy learning to sing songs by a female singer. Actually, they're mostly my siblings and parents, since I don't sing out loud elsewhere......hmmm..
I have to admit, the album is worth my every cent. Not that it's the best music money can buy, for that I would have to chose a CD compilation that had Overture to Manfred, Schubert's Symphony no.4 as well as Mozart's Piano Concerto No. 20 in 1 CD for me to say "that's the best music moeny can buy". The songs eventually seem to repeat itself on the verse sections, with the themes somewhat angst. But I guess that's what i like about Evanescence, how the angst is so well imbued in the music (Amy Lee's voice is also a major boon).
I also like the way electronic music blends with classical instruments. The piano in Bring Me to Life, Taking Over Me and the string arrangements in Whisper really is very good. It expunges my previous preference to keep Classical and Contemporary music apart.
Just helping think of other things....
The reason I bought the CD is because I figured that I would probably like all the songs in the CD, so it would be well worth it. Moreover, I think they deserve my royalty payment....
I have already memorised 5 out of 11 of the songs, and I want to make it at least 10 of 11 before I move on to memorise other songs. FYI, I still remember 9 out of 10 songs of the only other original album I bought, which was Wilson Phillips back in 1990!
I pity the people around me though, how they have to listen to a guy learning to sing songs by a female singer. Actually, they're mostly my siblings and parents, since I don't sing out loud elsewhere......hmmm..
I have to admit, the album is worth my every cent. Not that it's the best music money can buy, for that I would have to chose a CD compilation that had Overture to Manfred, Schubert's Symphony no.4 as well as Mozart's Piano Concerto No. 20 in 1 CD for me to say "that's the best music moeny can buy". The songs eventually seem to repeat itself on the verse sections, with the themes somewhat angst. But I guess that's what i like about Evanescence, how the angst is so well imbued in the music (Amy Lee's voice is also a major boon).
I also like the way electronic music blends with classical instruments. The piano in Bring Me to Life, Taking Over Me and the string arrangements in Whisper really is very good. It expunges my previous preference to keep Classical and Contemporary music apart.
Just helping think of other things....
Friday, October 14, 2005
Territorial disputes
Confession. Despite moving to a new workstation in my office, I seem to be having difficulty letting my old one go. Someone (who isn't someone I despise, other than the fact he's got someone's attention that I do not, bugger!) is trying very hard to relocate to my old workstation, and I am subconciously defending the area...
Frankly speaking, I don't need it anymore, other than to store junk. But I also want to keep it as it is a prime location. It's a window workstation with the sun behind you a a good view of the city. Since I'm at describing workstation, my current one is next to a 2 walls and right smack at the centre of the floor. Location wise, the old one is by far better as the area is also almost impossible to look at what I am doing without a conscious effort.
I think I know why I'm keeping the place, but even I isn't too sure about that. Really. Oh well, poor guy. Can't move to the 'best place' in my office..
Sorry mate, while I can't call something else mine, this will have to do! Ha ha!!!
Frankly speaking, I don't need it anymore, other than to store junk. But I also want to keep it as it is a prime location. It's a window workstation with the sun behind you a a good view of the city. Since I'm at describing workstation, my current one is next to a 2 walls and right smack at the centre of the floor. Location wise, the old one is by far better as the area is also almost impossible to look at what I am doing without a conscious effort.
I think I know why I'm keeping the place, but even I isn't too sure about that. Really. Oh well, poor guy. Can't move to the 'best place' in my office..
Sorry mate, while I can't call something else mine, this will have to do! Ha ha!!!
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
If I was a Vampire in V:tM
I'd be a Malkavian.
I actually love Toreadors the most, as they are so cool and exactly what I like most about being a Vampire; Fast, Charismatic and foresight to boot.
I'd even settle with Tremere, but with no spells in repetoire, I guess that just won't do.
So why would I be a Malkavian? Firstly, I admit that I am demented. Not so much in action, but very much in thought. Things that goes through my head are so, so, sick and well, demented. So if you know me personally, chances are you don't...Scared you, didn't I?
Next, I am extremely moody, and thus fit a Malkavian very much. Also, I can see humour in the worst of situations, and yet be dead serious over child's play. Don't you agree I'm Malkavian?
Going to the diciplines that I would have, I'd say Basic Auspex, Superior Dementation and no Obfuscate. That's because not only do I have no tact, I can't really do much in secret without laughing over it. So I'd have a capacity of 3. I'd give myself the ability, BenBHadd can perform any action any number of times this turn. That's because I'm never bored of the same old thing. Wait, that means I'm boring.........Maybe I am.
So that's me as a vampire....If you think you're one too (per V:tM), feel free to comment..
Oh, I'd also be Sterile, meaning to say I can create any progeny.......(this is not a medical condition, I think..ha ha)
I actually love Toreadors the most, as they are so cool and exactly what I like most about being a Vampire; Fast, Charismatic and foresight to boot.
I'd even settle with Tremere, but with no spells in repetoire, I guess that just won't do.
So why would I be a Malkavian? Firstly, I admit that I am demented. Not so much in action, but very much in thought. Things that goes through my head are so, so, sick and well, demented. So if you know me personally, chances are you don't...Scared you, didn't I?
Next, I am extremely moody, and thus fit a Malkavian very much. Also, I can see humour in the worst of situations, and yet be dead serious over child's play. Don't you agree I'm Malkavian?
Going to the diciplines that I would have, I'd say Basic Auspex, Superior Dementation and no Obfuscate. That's because not only do I have no tact, I can't really do much in secret without laughing over it. So I'd have a capacity of 3. I'd give myself the ability, BenBHadd can perform any action any number of times this turn. That's because I'm never bored of the same old thing. Wait, that means I'm boring.........Maybe I am.
So that's me as a vampire....If you think you're one too (per V:tM), feel free to comment..
Oh, I'd also be Sterile, meaning to say I can create any progeny.......(this is not a medical condition, I think..ha ha)
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Blood in my hands
I haven't killed anyone, nor do I believe I'd ever be in a position ot have to, but last night, someone's life was relatively in my hands, and I relatively terminated it.
I can't really say much, but I need a place where I can speak my piece and seek forgiveness, and while I doubt I'd get it, I know I have to try...Maybe doing it here doesn't help, but it's a start. And for me that's quite alot.
The source mf my 'problem' lies within me, my lack of tact when hurling what I thought were impartial comments. I thought that the world's humour levels were much higher, and that people were more used to direct feedback. Unfortunately that isn't the case, I still have certain people in my life more laidback than me, more conventional than me, more narrow minded than me.
And to them, I hope I could not have wished that you could see the light, for that would only mean that I took you, your personality for granted.
Enough said. To each it's own, and "thank you for making my future one without offsprings". (For all it's worth, that wasn't meant sarcastically, nor with dissent, at all..really....REALLY)
I can't really say much, but I need a place where I can speak my piece and seek forgiveness, and while I doubt I'd get it, I know I have to try...Maybe doing it here doesn't help, but it's a start. And for me that's quite alot.
The source mf my 'problem' lies within me, my lack of tact when hurling what I thought were impartial comments. I thought that the world's humour levels were much higher, and that people were more used to direct feedback. Unfortunately that isn't the case, I still have certain people in my life more laidback than me, more conventional than me, more narrow minded than me.
And to them, I hope I could not have wished that you could see the light, for that would only mean that I took you, your personality for granted.
Enough said. To each it's own, and "thank you for making my future one without offsprings". (For all it's worth, that wasn't meant sarcastically, nor with dissent, at all..really....REALLY)
Monday, October 10, 2005
Migration
Not quite, but it's the biggest word I could think of to say " I moved from 19th floor in my office to 14th floor!"
For those who didn't notice, a couple of posts back I mentioned that I will be moving workstations. I did that today. While I'm still using my old PC (Prop IBM, flop Dell), and the same phone & line, everything else changed (Ok, my boss is still the same, but I have another boss now...haha!)
The people around me are relatively new as the department I am situated in is about 6 months old. My workstation is not as private as before (my boss almost 'snuck up' on me a couple of hours ago and made me freak out as I was blogging....) but still more 'out of view' compared to others of my level.
I haven't really begun unpacking, other than the stuff I 'need' to work daily, but safe to say my workstation 'looks' like my workstation now...Messy and all..haha
208120 292038 919 82118209147 135 171914!!!
In any case, change is imminent....And I hope I'm changing with it...for the better.....(yeah right!)
For those who didn't notice, a couple of posts back I mentioned that I will be moving workstations. I did that today. While I'm still using my old PC (Prop IBM, flop Dell), and the same phone & line, everything else changed (Ok, my boss is still the same, but I have another boss now...haha!)
The people around me are relatively new as the department I am situated in is about 6 months old. My workstation is not as private as before (my boss almost 'snuck up' on me a couple of hours ago and made me freak out as I was blogging....) but still more 'out of view' compared to others of my level.
I haven't really begun unpacking, other than the stuff I 'need' to work daily, but safe to say my workstation 'looks' like my workstation now...Messy and all..haha
208120 292038 919 82118209147 135 171914!!!
In any case, change is imminent....And I hope I'm changing with it...for the better.....(yeah right!)
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Encoded??
Since I'm abit bored today, I'll play with myself here (no dirty thoughts, please)
9 19123 8518 20154125. 1985 2315185 1 1691411 2121521195 1144 1912131119. 235 215208 13111415231254754 5138 15208518 239208 152118 525519 15141225. 1991435 208514 9 113 655129147 121523. 9 18511291954 208120 4519169205 8518 141520 259147 1682519931121225 120201813209225, 1985 1215151119 1915 2512120962112 2015 135. 96 15141225 1965'4 65512 2085 191135. 96 15141225 1985 6551219 114252089147 201523118419 135. 9 192091212 4185113 156 8518 52251825 1497820, 1144 920 13111519 135 1391919 8518 1915 132138 141523!
23825 3114'20 9 611212 61518 191513515145 23815'4 129115 135 201515??
The above shouldn't be posted here, but since I'm feeling naughty and 12151451225, oh what the heck.
In any case, a hint......that's 891420. a clue.........312215. Get it? 7520 920?
9 19123 8518 20154125. 1985 2315185 1 1691411 2121521195 1144 1912131119. 235 215208 13111415231254754 5138 15208518 239208 152118 525519 15141225. 1991435 208514 9 113 655129147 121523. 9 18511291954 208120 4519169205 8518 141520 259147 1682519931121225 120201813209225, 1985 1215151119 1915 2512120962112 2015 135. 96 15141225 1965'4 65512 2085 191135. 96 15141225 1985 6551219 114252089147 201523118419 135. 9 192091212 4185113 156 8518 52251825 1497820, 1144 920 13111519 135 1391919 8518 1915 132138 141523!
23825 3114'20 9 611212 61518 191513515145 23815'4 129115 135 201515??
The above shouldn't be posted here, but since I'm feeling naughty and 12151451225, oh what the heck.
In any case, a hint......that's 891420. a clue.........312215. Get it? 7520 920?
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
New Toy for the Big Boy
Haha, sorry. Such a nice title, had to steal it from where you know it is....
In any case, just wanted to say that I am now taking V:TES (Vampire: The Eternal Struggle) more seriously and I am looking to get more of it's cards in coming months. For those of you oblivious to V:TES, it's a CCG (if you don't know what this is, stop reading. Nothing will make sense to you) where you play a Methuselah and try to control your world by influencing minions, generally vampires, to do your bidding.
While in reality I hate this 'influence' factor, largely because I have none of it, in the game it's fun because the Vampires are such cool minions to control and they can do many things to 'screw' your opponents. And if I get lucky, I might just find more than 1 player to play this regularly with.
The game was originaly a 'brother' to Magic: the Gathering but since then has been taken over by White Wolf (the makers of Vampire: the Masquerade RPG) and the new cards are getting more and more exciting. The only problem is that I have very little of the new cards, and thus am still stuck in the 'timeline' when it was stil a WoTC (Wizards of the Coast, creators of M:TG) product.
It's time to feed....I mean, bleed....
In any case, just wanted to say that I am now taking V:TES (Vampire: The Eternal Struggle) more seriously and I am looking to get more of it's cards in coming months. For those of you oblivious to V:TES, it's a CCG (if you don't know what this is, stop reading. Nothing will make sense to you) where you play a Methuselah and try to control your world by influencing minions, generally vampires, to do your bidding.
While in reality I hate this 'influence' factor, largely because I have none of it, in the game it's fun because the Vampires are such cool minions to control and they can do many things to 'screw' your opponents. And if I get lucky, I might just find more than 1 player to play this regularly with.
The game was originaly a 'brother' to Magic: the Gathering but since then has been taken over by White Wolf (the makers of Vampire: the Masquerade RPG) and the new cards are getting more and more exciting. The only problem is that I have very little of the new cards, and thus am still stuck in the 'timeline' when it was stil a WoTC (Wizards of the Coast, creators of M:TG) product.
It's time to feed....I mean, bleed....
Monday, October 03, 2005
Paintball
Last saturday my company had a paintball event. For those who didn't noticed, the month before we had a shooting event, so immobile target before, live moving (yummy) human targets next.
(un)Fortunately, my dexterity is nigh zero and my team (of 4 teams) were at the bottom of the table when it comes to this years events. That, and the fact we're all a bunch of wossies (that didn't come out right), so I didn't expect us to shoot down the opposition and claim an upset (Note: Expectations aren't the same as hope, go figure).
Due to weird organisational skills, instead of a team of 5, my team had 6 persons, but there were only 5 vest. So I had to go in without one, but since I haven't played this before, I didn't know if it was a good idea to have a vest..I mean, it's not like I plan to get shot......
On my first game we lost because my team ran out of pellets. We were suppose to get 50 each, but 1 cupfull of pellets is not 50. In any case, at the last minute I got hit by a glancing shot that tore my palm's skin. I was the first bleeding participant. But hey, no shot to my body, didn't need a vest at all....
Next, my team lost again as our opponents captured the flag. Oh, it's a round robin of 3 games and capture the falg win condition, I didn't mention this earlier? I was shot halfway through the 5 minutes time limit, in the forearm. I still hav the bruise, but hey? NO hits on the body, no vest required....
In the third game, determined to not lose (not win, but not lose) or get shot, I decided to bunk at closest to the base and stay there. I fired some shots at, what, 100 feet (they don't hit, of course) and for some reasons, my opponents decided that with 30 secodns left, my team had no pellets left...Once came running around my left towards my flag, with me shooting at him continuously to no success (dexterity 0, remember? Absolute ly no hand-eye coordination at all). I got so frustrated that I went right infront of him (he was out of pellets as well) and gave him 2 shots at about 10 feet.
Back track. At ranges of less than 20 feet, one should aim for the legs ot avoid injuring others. Besides, at such short range, how could you miss?
But I did, so I shot him smack on his chest. Twice. Or so I thought. Later I saw him with a bandage in his left arm that was much worse an injury compared to mine. Oops. He did have a vest, so the second shot that was (suprisingly) on target didn't injure (he still complained about pain, though). Oh, I also took out another guy at less than 20 feet who also thought I had ran out of pellets...Not too bright, eh?
But My team couldn't advance to the next round, and so there ends my short love affair with paintball. It'was fun, especially when I didn't need a vest at all!! Should I mention I am larger than the average human???
You Can't See Me!! Ha ha
(un)Fortunately, my dexterity is nigh zero and my team (of 4 teams) were at the bottom of the table when it comes to this years events. That, and the fact we're all a bunch of wossies (that didn't come out right), so I didn't expect us to shoot down the opposition and claim an upset (Note: Expectations aren't the same as hope, go figure).
Due to weird organisational skills, instead of a team of 5, my team had 6 persons, but there were only 5 vest. So I had to go in without one, but since I haven't played this before, I didn't know if it was a good idea to have a vest..I mean, it's not like I plan to get shot......
On my first game we lost because my team ran out of pellets. We were suppose to get 50 each, but 1 cupfull of pellets is not 50. In any case, at the last minute I got hit by a glancing shot that tore my palm's skin. I was the first bleeding participant. But hey, no shot to my body, didn't need a vest at all....
Next, my team lost again as our opponents captured the flag. Oh, it's a round robin of 3 games and capture the falg win condition, I didn't mention this earlier? I was shot halfway through the 5 minutes time limit, in the forearm. I still hav the bruise, but hey? NO hits on the body, no vest required....
In the third game, determined to not lose (not win, but not lose) or get shot, I decided to bunk at closest to the base and stay there. I fired some shots at, what, 100 feet (they don't hit, of course) and for some reasons, my opponents decided that with 30 secodns left, my team had no pellets left...Once came running around my left towards my flag, with me shooting at him continuously to no success (dexterity 0, remember? Absolute ly no hand-eye coordination at all). I got so frustrated that I went right infront of him (he was out of pellets as well) and gave him 2 shots at about 10 feet.
Back track. At ranges of less than 20 feet, one should aim for the legs ot avoid injuring others. Besides, at such short range, how could you miss?
But I did, so I shot him smack on his chest. Twice. Or so I thought. Later I saw him with a bandage in his left arm that was much worse an injury compared to mine. Oops. He did have a vest, so the second shot that was (suprisingly) on target didn't injure (he still complained about pain, though). Oh, I also took out another guy at less than 20 feet who also thought I had ran out of pellets...Not too bright, eh?
But My team couldn't advance to the next round, and so there ends my short love affair with paintball. It'was fun, especially when I didn't need a vest at all!! Should I mention I am larger than the average human???
You Can't See Me!! Ha ha
The Board is set....
The Pieces are moving...
I have finally confirmed that the first part (Appointment) of the Great Movement within my Company is official. And to the fact that part two (Transferrence) was already complete last week (part one even earlier, but without my knowledge), now remains part three: Creation, and part four: Reconciliation.
Once all these are in place, my wilder conspiracy theory is proven true, and this puts a great question on my ability to judge character. Despite me being a largely analytical person, I have discovered that I have poor judgement when it comes to people. I seem to get myself involved with people that want to take advantage of me, and those who don't I tend to take for granted.
To those who have cared for me sincerely and with heart, many apologies for not knowing, and not seeing. May I see your true colours and acknowledge your contributions all the time. If I don't, feel free to give me a kick on the behind..
To those who are still thinking that I am something you can use, (insert profanity here) you. I will learn from my dealings with you and see right through you moving forward.
Mushy stuff. Sorry. In any case, I should post something about paintball last weekend....
I have finally confirmed that the first part (Appointment) of the Great Movement within my Company is official. And to the fact that part two (Transferrence) was already complete last week (part one even earlier, but without my knowledge), now remains part three: Creation, and part four: Reconciliation.
Once all these are in place, my wilder conspiracy theory is proven true, and this puts a great question on my ability to judge character. Despite me being a largely analytical person, I have discovered that I have poor judgement when it comes to people. I seem to get myself involved with people that want to take advantage of me, and those who don't I tend to take for granted.
To those who have cared for me sincerely and with heart, many apologies for not knowing, and not seeing. May I see your true colours and acknowledge your contributions all the time. If I don't, feel free to give me a kick on the behind..
To those who are still thinking that I am something you can use, (insert profanity here) you. I will learn from my dealings with you and see right through you moving forward.
Mushy stuff. Sorry. In any case, I should post something about paintball last weekend....
Thursday, September 29, 2005
On the move
Looks like I'm on the move again. Certain quarters at my workplace have been asking me if I am moving, and I think come tomorrow, my official answer will be yes.
I'm not leaving the company though, just moving floors. Changing departments (more or less), but still doing the same job, same role.
Thinking about change as I write this, I think in the next couple of weeks I have a clear opportunity to make things happen. Now it's all up to me making it work.
I have generally let opportunity pass me by every now and then, but this time I truly must make it work. Time to get back into hardwork mode and laze less, I think...(if only I feel the same as I think, haha)
Writing my blog while working (ahem) isn't helping, too....
I'm not leaving the company though, just moving floors. Changing departments (more or less), but still doing the same job, same role.
Thinking about change as I write this, I think in the next couple of weeks I have a clear opportunity to make things happen. Now it's all up to me making it work.
I have generally let opportunity pass me by every now and then, but this time I truly must make it work. Time to get back into hardwork mode and laze less, I think...(if only I feel the same as I think, haha)
Writing my blog while working (ahem) isn't helping, too....
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
hugs
Something that I don't do. Period.
It didn't help that despite having parents that were relatively western in thought, hugs just aren't something practiced at home. So for me to greet another person, or say goodbye with a hug, just isn't natural.
But the past 7 days have seen me hug 3 different people. FYI, they're all colleagues from other markets. Being truly western in culture, hugs and kisses (cheek pecks) are a form of greeting and goodbye. And I couldn't go all ewweee about it, so for a couple of seconds, my body like...."what just happened??? Dunno, please asked the brain to intepret what happened and why it did.." Brain would then say, "Oh, it's just a normal way to bid adieu" " WTF??? Normal??? Since when???"
You get the picture. Me no hug, so no hug me....Unless I want you too....ha ha...
It didn't help that despite having parents that were relatively western in thought, hugs just aren't something practiced at home. So for me to greet another person, or say goodbye with a hug, just isn't natural.
But the past 7 days have seen me hug 3 different people. FYI, they're all colleagues from other markets. Being truly western in culture, hugs and kisses (cheek pecks) are a form of greeting and goodbye. And I couldn't go all ewweee about it, so for a couple of seconds, my body like...."what just happened??? Dunno, please asked the brain to intepret what happened and why it did.." Brain would then say, "Oh, it's just a normal way to bid adieu" " WTF??? Normal??? Since when???"
You get the picture. Me no hug, so no hug me....Unless I want you too....ha ha...
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Karaoke
Hmmmm. Confession. I'm a sucker to singing. My personal favourite is to hear the voices of the sopranos of a choir.....Angelic....
Unfortunately my only proper encounter with a choir was during my 2nd year in UPM (that's a University in Malaysia, fyi) where I joined a choir (for the wrong reasons, mind you) and ha to perform live twice while with them. Luckily it was only for the University audience, else I'd be too embarress to talk about it here.
Not to say that we (the choir) sucked, but by the second semester, we had a supposed 'experienced' musician as our conductor who turned out to be....Below par???
Jumping back to the header (My header is actually the theme??? Since when???). I recently had a Karaoke session with some close friends, and while the outing as enjoyable, the experince was....enlightening...
Oh, FYI, I do Karaoke somewhat once a month. Would love to do more, but the cost is not very encouraging. So what's the enlightenment?? You see, I like to sing so much that I memorise quite a number of them (unfortunately my voice isn't a 10 point advantage (ref: GURPS) so life as an entertainer is't an option), and I end up chosing these songs while I karaoke. The other 'problem' is that these songs ususally are MTV versions, i.e. no lyrics to sing along, so other people who don't know the lyrics by heart won't be able to participate.
Now the thing about karaoke is that it's meant for a group of people, irregardless of musical ability, to sing their hearts (and sometimes throat's) worth without caring if it's music to other's ears. However, with MTV, not only do you hear the original artist singing, you also have no lyrics to sing along....Get the picture???
I didn't get it 'till 48 hours ago..So while I happily sing songs I sing on a regular basis in the semi-lit room, others have nothing to do but listen. Now in a concert hall, that's probably what you want to do. In a Karaoke-room however, other than that 1 person who may be fiddling with the remote to pick the next millionth song, others aren't doing something they're there for...Sing.
Smack into my face, that revelation. SO I've decided that from now on, I'll not sing any song that others can't sing along with. No lyrics, no song. For the songs I know by heart, I ca ing them anywhere and anytime I want....
Except while in Karaoke.....
Unfortunately my only proper encounter with a choir was during my 2nd year in UPM (that's a University in Malaysia, fyi) where I joined a choir (for the wrong reasons, mind you) and ha to perform live twice while with them. Luckily it was only for the University audience, else I'd be too embarress to talk about it here.
Not to say that we (the choir) sucked, but by the second semester, we had a supposed 'experienced' musician as our conductor who turned out to be....Below par???
Jumping back to the header (My header is actually the theme??? Since when???). I recently had a Karaoke session with some close friends, and while the outing as enjoyable, the experince was....enlightening...
Oh, FYI, I do Karaoke somewhat once a month. Would love to do more, but the cost is not very encouraging. So what's the enlightenment?? You see, I like to sing so much that I memorise quite a number of them (unfortunately my voice isn't a 10 point advantage (ref: GURPS) so life as an entertainer is't an option), and I end up chosing these songs while I karaoke. The other 'problem' is that these songs ususally are MTV versions, i.e. no lyrics to sing along, so other people who don't know the lyrics by heart won't be able to participate.
Now the thing about karaoke is that it's meant for a group of people, irregardless of musical ability, to sing their hearts (and sometimes throat's) worth without caring if it's music to other's ears. However, with MTV, not only do you hear the original artist singing, you also have no lyrics to sing along....Get the picture???
I didn't get it 'till 48 hours ago..So while I happily sing songs I sing on a regular basis in the semi-lit room, others have nothing to do but listen. Now in a concert hall, that's probably what you want to do. In a Karaoke-room however, other than that 1 person who may be fiddling with the remote to pick the next millionth song, others aren't doing something they're there for...Sing.
Smack into my face, that revelation. SO I've decided that from now on, I'll not sing any song that others can't sing along with. No lyrics, no song. For the songs I know by heart, I ca ing them anywhere and anytime I want....
Except while in Karaoke.....
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Whoa.....(response to previous long thread comment)
Looks like my wish for a certain Barry to not read that post didn't happen. It also looks like we have things that we need to trash over and hopefully I'd still get the chance.
Somehow or rather, I guess critising MLM results in criticising everyone in it. Not very bright, am I? Not ever very bright, but highly opinionated(?). Truly sorry to have had you known how I truly feel about MLM, but I guess it was eventual.
That aside, to everyone who is doing MLM, and didn't like what I said, I am not sorry of my opinion. Nor will I be sorry if it seemed to be a negative point of view to your lives. I am an advocate of diversity. In every circle of life, there will be one leader, many followers, 1 freak, 1 saint, 1 etc...You get the picture. Simply because the guy on top looks to be the happiest doesn't mean he is. But if that's what you want, go get it. With all your heart and soul.
Oh well, I won't achieve much diplomacy after the prior post on this issue. But I do note this, people do change. So will I.
At my pace.......
Somehow or rather, I guess critising MLM results in criticising everyone in it. Not very bright, am I? Not ever very bright, but highly opinionated(?). Truly sorry to have had you known how I truly feel about MLM, but I guess it was eventual.
That aside, to everyone who is doing MLM, and didn't like what I said, I am not sorry of my opinion. Nor will I be sorry if it seemed to be a negative point of view to your lives. I am an advocate of diversity. In every circle of life, there will be one leader, many followers, 1 freak, 1 saint, 1 etc...You get the picture. Simply because the guy on top looks to be the happiest doesn't mean he is. But if that's what you want, go get it. With all your heart and soul.
Oh well, I won't achieve much diplomacy after the prior post on this issue. But I do note this, people do change. So will I.
At my pace.......
Monday, September 19, 2005
Change - (Warning, looooooong post)
No, it's not spare coins. Nor is this the sound you hear from one of the old arcade games. A few posts back I noted that it's time I changed, and that I have gained nothing from being myself today.
Yesterday, through some rather weird turn of events, I was brought to a table to discuss matters pertaining to financial opportunities. While discussing those opportunities, my personality not only got analysed, it took a great amount of knocks as well.
While the 'closers' were spot on when identifying my personality type, what they failed to catch was that I was reading their gameplan like a book. First, show how easy it is to make lots of money. Then, show how many people have made that money. After that, entice you to try from the bottom, since you've got nothing to lose from there, right?
Yes, specifically it's an MLM. Truth be told, really, the plan is probably a new way of making business. Imagine if everything that you bought you had a stake in it, that eventually you'd get something back. Well in MLM, given time, and bigger your circle of 'network' is, your returns may just superceed your investment.
But ofcourse, the investment in total of your 'network' will definitely not come close to your returns. Under no situation would any company let you take home more than you've invested. You'd probably think that you've only brought in X amount, and now you take home 2X amount home each month, so ultimately the venture is successful and you've got excellent returns for your initial investment.
Yet the actual investment is far more than you'd see. The actual amount of investment is the total number of sales/investment your whole team has contributed, and that could easily be from 3X to 6X per level of MLM. And it will usually take at least 3-4 levels before you'd ever begin earning your X that you've invested. In other words, if no one else invest, you're stuck with no returns.....
But back to the concept if everything you bought you'd have a stake in it...Like every toothpaste you buy, you get back a 10% of it's retail price. Or if you buy a new car, by being a partner, you'd get back 10% discount. And from there onwards, each other person you introduce to buy the same branded car, you'd get a cut, and the new buyer get's his discount. Eventually, there wouldn't really be a need for sales persons anymore, since everyone will be out to get everyone else to buy with him (note: not for him, but with him. For once you've bought it with him once, you're in his shoes now, eager to get more new buyers).
Then the unimaginable thing happens, with everyone already a partner of everything he/she would ever want to own, and that no one else would be available to be recruited anymore, hence critical mass...Or that it's becoming such a success, no ones wants to let anyone else override their stakes...Note again, this is for everyday purchases....
This of course, will not happen for 2 things:
1) Time. Mankind will continue to regenerate itself, so much so that even if you've had the world's population as your consumer, each second there will be someone else alive who isn't your consumer...yet. So imagine the baby stalkings! "Hey, your kid should be a partner in so & so scheme to earn the returns from age 0!" Without a doubt, though, the parents would be saying," yeah, and he's going to be under me!"
2) Diversity rocks. Despite all this hype about jewellery, there's that small amount of people that just don't buy it. You love KFC, I love McD's. While you believe being a partner in everything you buy gets you good returns, I think it's bollocks. Hell, even heaven, the best thing that you don't need money to buy, isn't 'sold' to every living thing in the world.
So hitting critical mass is only theorethically possible, and realistically impossible. Which means, you'd never run out of prospects. The key then for this business is finding your prospects/investors, or what they call partners.
So we've come to a conclusion that it can't fail, at least not through lack of prospects. The incentive scheme is generally well thought out and extremely enticing, so under no reason should that be the hindrance. Then, what is? Why do we know of so many people who does MLM and fails?
It is Diversity that once again becomes the stumbling block. You see, to be a MLM person, you need to fit into a certain mold of person. And it is just 1 mold. Yes, those who do it would contest otherwise, but in reality, they are all the same. They have 1 goal that they share (and mind you, it isn't always money....Isn't always), 1 lifestyle that they want to lead (hint: travel the world and the seven seas is generally a common theme), and 1 thing that they consider success; Being their own boss.
So to succeed, or to be enticed to be a part of this 'revolution', you'd have to either want to be that way, or know not how to not want to i.e. you truly believe that you do not like that way of life. A way of life where money is scarcely an issue, where you'd seem to have all the time in the world to do whatever you want, and you'd have close friends and partners to boot.
What a load of bull! Analyse this. For everyone you'd know who'd have money to spare, they're unlikely to have time for themselves, or much of any friends. If they had time, chances are money is an issue, and/or friends as well. If you have all the friends in the world, chances are the other 2 aren't available in abundance. To have everything borders on perfection, and being the imperfect bengs that we are, we seem to be unable to accept that fact and constantly strive for the impossible.
Then they'd show you all the names of people who lead the lifestyle they're trying to sell you. But will you really get to see their personal lives? They'd go up the stage and speak of great holidays, power real estates and luxury cars, but will anyone of them truly say "I now spend time with my family, and use only 10 hours a week teaching people about this business" and prove it. They like to discount the many hours they spend networking at parties, workshops, drinks sessions and talking about their business as 'free time'. They'd say that the business runs on it's own, and little intervention is needed to keep it running.
And their best show is helping others achieve their greatness. As an indication of sincerity. I must say, one would be truly optimistic to suspect nothing is amiss. They say when you start to work, it's the 'real world'. Since when does that cease if you join MLM? It doesn't. It's just that people in MLM are so much better at hiding their agendas and intentions, you'd need microscopic eyes to seen that hint of taint in them. Really, the successful ones are truly that good.
Okay, I am not saying there aren't good people in the world, but the MLM history has not been clean by far. Their track record at hustling people off their hopes and, specifically money is just to great to ignore. They sell you a hope, not a product. And hope is mankind's greatest value, as well as biggest downfall. By using your hopes and dreams to sell you a product, this I deem, is questionable. When current commercial practice sell you a product, you know what you get for the price that you pay. If you don't get what was advertised, or per understanding, there are legal & illegal ways to rectify the issue.
By selling you hope, you have no insurance. Much like religion. Have faith, and God will be with you. If he isn't, you have little faith. With this hope that you have bought, your subsequent actions must be according to their mold, their practices, their teachings, and if and when you choose otherwise, and fail, they'll then blame it on you. It is your failure. Your lack of commitment, trust and effort is the reason you've not succeeded. You have failed to become one of them. And all you can do is take that mental attack and have no defence.
No, they're are no cult, by definition. But look beyond the confines of time, interpolate their goals and reasons, and you shall see their offer is not too far away. "Hoping for a better future? Join us and we will show you the way"..........
Shivers. Now, what has this to do with change? You see, for me to be successful like them, I need to be like them. I can't succeed by being me. Well, you can enjoy being you. I'll stick to being me.
Having said that, the whole discussion, if it was without the MLM connection, was somewhat eye opening as it did show what my areas of opportunities are, and showed truly clearly, where my areas of strength are as well.
And like most, if not all self help workshops/books, it's all about self help. Others can help you see, but it is you yourself that must walk the walk.
I have been shown the paths, I have been given the light, now all that's left is the decision to start walking. Preferably with the light, but on a path I chose, and no one else.
Yesterday, through some rather weird turn of events, I was brought to a table to discuss matters pertaining to financial opportunities. While discussing those opportunities, my personality not only got analysed, it took a great amount of knocks as well.
While the 'closers' were spot on when identifying my personality type, what they failed to catch was that I was reading their gameplan like a book. First, show how easy it is to make lots of money. Then, show how many people have made that money. After that, entice you to try from the bottom, since you've got nothing to lose from there, right?
Yes, specifically it's an MLM. Truth be told, really, the plan is probably a new way of making business. Imagine if everything that you bought you had a stake in it, that eventually you'd get something back. Well in MLM, given time, and bigger your circle of 'network' is, your returns may just superceed your investment.
But ofcourse, the investment in total of your 'network' will definitely not come close to your returns. Under no situation would any company let you take home more than you've invested. You'd probably think that you've only brought in X amount, and now you take home 2X amount home each month, so ultimately the venture is successful and you've got excellent returns for your initial investment.
Yet the actual investment is far more than you'd see. The actual amount of investment is the total number of sales/investment your whole team has contributed, and that could easily be from 3X to 6X per level of MLM. And it will usually take at least 3-4 levels before you'd ever begin earning your X that you've invested. In other words, if no one else invest, you're stuck with no returns.....
But back to the concept if everything you bought you'd have a stake in it...Like every toothpaste you buy, you get back a 10% of it's retail price. Or if you buy a new car, by being a partner, you'd get back 10% discount. And from there onwards, each other person you introduce to buy the same branded car, you'd get a cut, and the new buyer get's his discount. Eventually, there wouldn't really be a need for sales persons anymore, since everyone will be out to get everyone else to buy with him (note: not for him, but with him. For once you've bought it with him once, you're in his shoes now, eager to get more new buyers).
Then the unimaginable thing happens, with everyone already a partner of everything he/she would ever want to own, and that no one else would be available to be recruited anymore, hence critical mass...Or that it's becoming such a success, no ones wants to let anyone else override their stakes...Note again, this is for everyday purchases....
This of course, will not happen for 2 things:
1) Time. Mankind will continue to regenerate itself, so much so that even if you've had the world's population as your consumer, each second there will be someone else alive who isn't your consumer...yet. So imagine the baby stalkings! "Hey, your kid should be a partner in so & so scheme to earn the returns from age 0!" Without a doubt, though, the parents would be saying," yeah, and he's going to be under me!"
2) Diversity rocks. Despite all this hype about jewellery, there's that small amount of people that just don't buy it. You love KFC, I love McD's. While you believe being a partner in everything you buy gets you good returns, I think it's bollocks. Hell, even heaven, the best thing that you don't need money to buy, isn't 'sold' to every living thing in the world.
So hitting critical mass is only theorethically possible, and realistically impossible. Which means, you'd never run out of prospects. The key then for this business is finding your prospects/investors, or what they call partners.
So we've come to a conclusion that it can't fail, at least not through lack of prospects. The incentive scheme is generally well thought out and extremely enticing, so under no reason should that be the hindrance. Then, what is? Why do we know of so many people who does MLM and fails?
It is Diversity that once again becomes the stumbling block. You see, to be a MLM person, you need to fit into a certain mold of person. And it is just 1 mold. Yes, those who do it would contest otherwise, but in reality, they are all the same. They have 1 goal that they share (and mind you, it isn't always money....Isn't always), 1 lifestyle that they want to lead (hint: travel the world and the seven seas is generally a common theme), and 1 thing that they consider success; Being their own boss.
So to succeed, or to be enticed to be a part of this 'revolution', you'd have to either want to be that way, or know not how to not want to i.e. you truly believe that you do not like that way of life. A way of life where money is scarcely an issue, where you'd seem to have all the time in the world to do whatever you want, and you'd have close friends and partners to boot.
What a load of bull! Analyse this. For everyone you'd know who'd have money to spare, they're unlikely to have time for themselves, or much of any friends. If they had time, chances are money is an issue, and/or friends as well. If you have all the friends in the world, chances are the other 2 aren't available in abundance. To have everything borders on perfection, and being the imperfect bengs that we are, we seem to be unable to accept that fact and constantly strive for the impossible.
Then they'd show you all the names of people who lead the lifestyle they're trying to sell you. But will you really get to see their personal lives? They'd go up the stage and speak of great holidays, power real estates and luxury cars, but will anyone of them truly say "I now spend time with my family, and use only 10 hours a week teaching people about this business" and prove it. They like to discount the many hours they spend networking at parties, workshops, drinks sessions and talking about their business as 'free time'. They'd say that the business runs on it's own, and little intervention is needed to keep it running.
And their best show is helping others achieve their greatness. As an indication of sincerity. I must say, one would be truly optimistic to suspect nothing is amiss. They say when you start to work, it's the 'real world'. Since when does that cease if you join MLM? It doesn't. It's just that people in MLM are so much better at hiding their agendas and intentions, you'd need microscopic eyes to seen that hint of taint in them. Really, the successful ones are truly that good.
Okay, I am not saying there aren't good people in the world, but the MLM history has not been clean by far. Their track record at hustling people off their hopes and, specifically money is just to great to ignore. They sell you a hope, not a product. And hope is mankind's greatest value, as well as biggest downfall. By using your hopes and dreams to sell you a product, this I deem, is questionable. When current commercial practice sell you a product, you know what you get for the price that you pay. If you don't get what was advertised, or per understanding, there are legal & illegal ways to rectify the issue.
By selling you hope, you have no insurance. Much like religion. Have faith, and God will be with you. If he isn't, you have little faith. With this hope that you have bought, your subsequent actions must be according to their mold, their practices, their teachings, and if and when you choose otherwise, and fail, they'll then blame it on you. It is your failure. Your lack of commitment, trust and effort is the reason you've not succeeded. You have failed to become one of them. And all you can do is take that mental attack and have no defence.
No, they're are no cult, by definition. But look beyond the confines of time, interpolate their goals and reasons, and you shall see their offer is not too far away. "Hoping for a better future? Join us and we will show you the way"..........
Shivers. Now, what has this to do with change? You see, for me to be successful like them, I need to be like them. I can't succeed by being me. Well, you can enjoy being you. I'll stick to being me.
Having said that, the whole discussion, if it was without the MLM connection, was somewhat eye opening as it did show what my areas of opportunities are, and showed truly clearly, where my areas of strength are as well.
And like most, if not all self help workshops/books, it's all about self help. Others can help you see, but it is you yourself that must walk the walk.
I have been shown the paths, I have been given the light, now all that's left is the decision to start walking. Preferably with the light, but on a path I chose, and no one else.
Thursday, September 15, 2005
What on earth?
Is wrong with me??? ( I know that answer, actually, but have since refrain from discussing it here...sorry)
Must continue to focus on things that do not hurt, that does not betray.
On lighter note, I will be attempting to, wait, I can't say that....(Har har, my other personalities playing on me again..) Enough to say, it's another expensive venture that will open up more possibilities in the future....but it involves me alone.
Recently I have updated somewhere else that by the end of the year, I must own an Electronic Keyborad of 5 octaves or higher. This is my second written promise to myself. If I fail to deliver this, anyone that sees me mext January, shoot me. Kick me. Whatever (the F adjective is not applicable unless you are a non-related female that I would be interested)....
So if you find me being much more guarded on how I spend my money, hopefulyy this is an indication why.
Until then, I will continue to play till my heart recovers....Or I have a heart attack...Whichever that comes first...
Must continue to focus on things that do not hurt, that does not betray.
On lighter note, I will be attempting to, wait, I can't say that....(Har har, my other personalities playing on me again..) Enough to say, it's another expensive venture that will open up more possibilities in the future....but it involves me alone.
Recently I have updated somewhere else that by the end of the year, I must own an Electronic Keyborad of 5 octaves or higher. This is my second written promise to myself. If I fail to deliver this, anyone that sees me mext January, shoot me. Kick me. Whatever (the F adjective is not applicable unless you are a non-related female that I would be interested)....
So if you find me being much more guarded on how I spend my money, hopefulyy this is an indication why.
Until then, I will continue to play till my heart recovers....Or I have a heart attack...Whichever that comes first...
Friday, September 09, 2005
MIQ?
Ha ha. Bet'cha don't know what that means.
My family seems to have a weird sense of communication. We had tendencies to create synonyms, for the most ridiculous of....phrases?
Allow me to provide examples:
MIQ - Make it Quick. Used when we need to rush each other into something.
LowIQ - Pronounced "low-ik". Meant to label people with Low IQ (duh?)
um....sorry. Mental block..can't think of others right now.
Will repost this later.
haha
My family seems to have a weird sense of communication. We had tendencies to create synonyms, for the most ridiculous of....phrases?
Allow me to provide examples:
MIQ - Make it Quick. Used when we need to rush each other into something.
LowIQ - Pronounced "low-ik". Meant to label people with Low IQ (duh?)
um....sorry. Mental block..can't think of others right now.
Will repost this later.
haha
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
What now?
The decision to name my new boss has been delayed, making my own decision to follow my old boss delayed as well. Everyone I know asks me the same million dollar question, "So when are you moving down to 14th floor?"
Inertia. By definition is directly related to one's weight. I am approx. 100KG, so I surely have a higher degree of inertia compared to others. So what does inertia have to do with me, or anything? Basically inertia talks about objects preference to remain in their current state. If you are moving, you'd like to remain moving. But if you are at a stop, you'd need a whole lot of energy to get you going again.
That's where I am now. At a halt. Full stop. I am so bored of trying new things, so tired of the things I do now, and so reluctant to change my environment. Near the end of last year I contemplated to work on a cruise (ot that I was getting a job...) and that never materialsed 'cos I'm so lazy to change my lifestyle. Not to mentioned I just got myself a RM 9K instalment to pay-off. So I remained where I was. Even further back, I wanted to move out of my apartment that I pay rent monthly so that I'd live on my own...I even had a friend that found me a place that was near to where I work, and within my budget....
Of course, if I have moved, I'd probably not be writing this now... Now I am at another corner of my life. I need to change me, but I can't muster the will to make that change. Nor do I have the courage to be what I am currently not. Then there's always that age old defence of trying to stay me, not wanting to change for change's sake, not wanting to become someone else....Excuses...
I once tried to explain that excuses aren't reasons...I can have 1000 excuses why I shouldn't change...But the truth is, I have no reason to it. So I should change. Be someone else...Not like the current me is getting me anywhere....
Inertia. By definition is directly related to one's weight. I am approx. 100KG, so I surely have a higher degree of inertia compared to others. So what does inertia have to do with me, or anything? Basically inertia talks about objects preference to remain in their current state. If you are moving, you'd like to remain moving. But if you are at a stop, you'd need a whole lot of energy to get you going again.
That's where I am now. At a halt. Full stop. I am so bored of trying new things, so tired of the things I do now, and so reluctant to change my environment. Near the end of last year I contemplated to work on a cruise (ot that I was getting a job...) and that never materialsed 'cos I'm so lazy to change my lifestyle. Not to mentioned I just got myself a RM 9K instalment to pay-off. So I remained where I was. Even further back, I wanted to move out of my apartment that I pay rent monthly so that I'd live on my own...I even had a friend that found me a place that was near to where I work, and within my budget....
Of course, if I have moved, I'd probably not be writing this now... Now I am at another corner of my life. I need to change me, but I can't muster the will to make that change. Nor do I have the courage to be what I am currently not. Then there's always that age old defence of trying to stay me, not wanting to change for change's sake, not wanting to become someone else....Excuses...
I once tried to explain that excuses aren't reasons...I can have 1000 excuses why I shouldn't change...But the truth is, I have no reason to it. So I should change. Be someone else...Not like the current me is getting me anywhere....
Friday, September 02, 2005
It's been awhile
I haven't blogged for awhile...been really busy at work..Didn't help when I spent the whole Public Holiday on Wednesday out...So no chance of any R&R.
Today, I am slightly less busy. Most of my work came from visitors of regional offices dropping by, and there are 3 groups to be exact. 1 has come and going, 1 is here and leaving soon, and the last will be in and out on Monday. After that, i'll be back the slower pace of work life.
So, what shall we write about today??
Recently I have acquired new cards fro mthe CCG Vampire: the Eternal Struggle and have found the cards most interesting. I have even built a new deck of Ravnos. Can't wait to play it with the other VtE enthusiast at the shop.
I should write more, but I'm facing a writer's block...I think...Maybe later...Who knows?
Today, I am slightly less busy. Most of my work came from visitors of regional offices dropping by, and there are 3 groups to be exact. 1 has come and going, 1 is here and leaving soon, and the last will be in and out on Monday. After that, i'll be back the slower pace of work life.
So, what shall we write about today??
Recently I have acquired new cards fro mthe CCG Vampire: the Eternal Struggle and have found the cards most interesting. I have even built a new deck of Ravnos. Can't wait to play it with the other VtE enthusiast at the shop.
I should write more, but I'm facing a writer's block...I think...Maybe later...Who knows?
Saturday, August 27, 2005
What a Gala
Barely an hour before I was at Dewan Philharmonik Petronas attending it's Gala Concert for Season 2005/2006.
It was nice to be there, even nicer to have a friend there with me. When you read this, thanks dude..It was rather fun to show you how diferent the Gala concert is compared to the usual fixtures..
The show started with an Overture from one of Rosini's operas, followed by 4 songs by Strauss. Sung by a soprano in German, I found myself awed by the vocal strength, but lost musically. I guess contemporary songs has gotten me accustomed to the structure, and th song that I heard had so different a structure that I got lost trying to find the melody.
Then it was the expected intermission, where we were served some light refreshments before the final part which was an orchestral arrangement of one of Brahms' Piano Quartet. No piano here, but the pieces were arranged very close to Brahms' style, at least on my point of view.
As usual, at the end of the concert the Malaysian crowd clapped for an encore, of which the orchestra obliged with Brahms' Hungarian Dance no.1. it was nice to finish off with a piece that I remember! Then the concert ended and we leave the concert hall to be greeted by supper!
A plate full of pasta, lasagna, some spring rolls, Murtabak and chicken later, the Gala experience ws over and I strongly believe it was money well spent. If you love classical music, want to see many ladies in fine evening gowns and prefer a peaceful weekend outing comapred to the loud boom ounds and choking air of a night club, I recommend you see the Gala concert too. but you'd have to wait till next year, though!
It was nice to be there, even nicer to have a friend there with me. When you read this, thanks dude..It was rather fun to show you how diferent the Gala concert is compared to the usual fixtures..
The show started with an Overture from one of Rosini's operas, followed by 4 songs by Strauss. Sung by a soprano in German, I found myself awed by the vocal strength, but lost musically. I guess contemporary songs has gotten me accustomed to the structure, and th song that I heard had so different a structure that I got lost trying to find the melody.
Then it was the expected intermission, where we were served some light refreshments before the final part which was an orchestral arrangement of one of Brahms' Piano Quartet. No piano here, but the pieces were arranged very close to Brahms' style, at least on my point of view.
As usual, at the end of the concert the Malaysian crowd clapped for an encore, of which the orchestra obliged with Brahms' Hungarian Dance no.1. it was nice to finish off with a piece that I remember! Then the concert ended and we leave the concert hall to be greeted by supper!
A plate full of pasta, lasagna, some spring rolls, Murtabak and chicken later, the Gala experience ws over and I strongly believe it was money well spent. If you love classical music, want to see many ladies in fine evening gowns and prefer a peaceful weekend outing comapred to the loud boom ounds and choking air of a night club, I recommend you see the Gala concert too. but you'd have to wait till next year, though!
Friday, August 26, 2005
What is point blank range???
Would you believe it that point blank range is anything 5 meters or less?
Last Friday, I went to a shooting range as part of a compnay activity. We were given a pistol, Baretta something, which has a magazine capacity of 15 rounds. But, we were only given 10 rounds to begin with.
At first, practice shots (5 rounds) were at 5 meters, of which my shots were all within the target area (8 point or higher). Then the next 5 rounds were at 10m. BOy, did I sucked then..
Then came the competition round. I had 10 rounds at 10m, and guess what? I only hit the target 8 times for a total points of 24! (Insert extremely embarressed me here....)
Oh, less I forget, my sister, who incidentally works in the same company as I do, shot a 91! (Max score 100) Thank god some other guy got 94, or else I'd be haunted by this utter humiliation. She was second best, so that's not bad at all!
Hmm, so my point blank range is 5m. Anything further than that, I'll miss. So no worries if I have a gun, people. I can't hit shite!
Last Friday, I went to a shooting range as part of a compnay activity. We were given a pistol, Baretta something, which has a magazine capacity of 15 rounds. But, we were only given 10 rounds to begin with.
At first, practice shots (5 rounds) were at 5 meters, of which my shots were all within the target area (8 point or higher). Then the next 5 rounds were at 10m. BOy, did I sucked then..
Then came the competition round. I had 10 rounds at 10m, and guess what? I only hit the target 8 times for a total points of 24! (Insert extremely embarressed me here....)
Oh, less I forget, my sister, who incidentally works in the same company as I do, shot a 91! (Max score 100) Thank god some other guy got 94, or else I'd be haunted by this utter humiliation. She was second best, so that's not bad at all!
Hmm, so my point blank range is 5m. Anything further than that, I'll miss. So no worries if I have a gun, people. I can't hit shite!
Thursday, August 25, 2005
Summer Cleaning
People clean their house ususally nearing their main yearly holidays, Chinese before CNY, Malays before Hari Raya Aidifitri, Indians before Deepavali, Christians before Xmas, etc... My family never cleans for any festivities..ever...We'd try, every now and then, but the house still looks like a mess. Which explains my I don't invites friends over during festivities. Visitng a dumpsite just isn't a place you'd like to go....especially during festivities..
For some unknown reason, it was decided that there were too much junk at home (like, duh!) and that it's time to make space. Better reason would be that my mother stresses out when the house is in a mess, and for a person with a heart condition, stress is not something we'd like her to have...Oh, btw, my parents are moving in...Explains the need to clean up.
This is not to say that my house (which currently houses all my siblings bar 1) was ever really clean when our parents were with us. It's just that back then, she could handle stress. Now stress = hospital visits... So for the past 2 weeks my siblings and I have been cleaning up the house every night (close) after work, and weekends as well (sometimes). Now the house looks even messier with many things that need to go still residing at home.
Our target date is at the end of month, which is also when our parents return. We even had an 'project planner' created on Excel just to ensure each of us complete our task on time. Actually, it was more to remind us to complete it on time...We are a procrastinating bunch, you see....
So that's the story on Summer Cleaning. It isn't over, and hopefully it'll make the house hospitable enough for guest...
Oh, funny line I said to my siblings the other day, : Imagine all this hard work, and at the end of day, our house still look like a mess?"
For some unknown reason, it was decided that there were too much junk at home (like, duh!) and that it's time to make space. Better reason would be that my mother stresses out when the house is in a mess, and for a person with a heart condition, stress is not something we'd like her to have...Oh, btw, my parents are moving in...Explains the need to clean up.
This is not to say that my house (which currently houses all my siblings bar 1) was ever really clean when our parents were with us. It's just that back then, she could handle stress. Now stress = hospital visits... So for the past 2 weeks my siblings and I have been cleaning up the house every night (close) after work, and weekends as well (sometimes). Now the house looks even messier with many things that need to go still residing at home.
Our target date is at the end of month, which is also when our parents return. We even had an 'project planner' created on Excel just to ensure each of us complete our task on time. Actually, it was more to remind us to complete it on time...We are a procrastinating bunch, you see....
So that's the story on Summer Cleaning. It isn't over, and hopefully it'll make the house hospitable enough for guest...
Oh, funny line I said to my siblings the other day, : Imagine all this hard work, and at the end of day, our house still look like a mess?"
Enough of this Trash Talk
Dear Readers,
due to unforseen circumstances, I will now refrain from posting anything that touched on my recent attempt to find a significant other. It's all trash talk anyway....
On the other hand, I hope to write more on other topics not related to me, i.e. Wrestling, Football(Soccer), World Issues (yeah right..), etc...
Will try to post more. Thanks for reading..
FYI. I'm still unwell...But That, I have always been....
" Every cloud has it's silver lining"..
due to unforseen circumstances, I will now refrain from posting anything that touched on my recent attempt to find a significant other. It's all trash talk anyway....
On the other hand, I hope to write more on other topics not related to me, i.e. Wrestling, Football(Soccer), World Issues (yeah right..), etc...
Will try to post more. Thanks for reading..
FYI. I'm still unwell...But That, I have always been....
" Every cloud has it's silver lining"..
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
12 hours into 27.....
And I must say birthdays sucks.....
I really wanted to wait until the end of the day to post, so that I could put all the bad things that happened, and then some good things, so that hopefully I'd "see the line in the sand", find "the silver lining", spot "the blessing in disguise".....
But after the number of setbacks till 1.00pm....I can't hold on....Must blog...
Setback One:
Woke up late again. It doesn't help I'm not sleeping early enough, but having to see my Mom after work for the past few days haven't helped.
Setback Two:
My routine to work involves me walking downhill for approx. 15 minutes to the most accessible bus stop. Today, it chose to rain.
Setback Three:
Already I was late, there was also an accident on the Sungai Besi Highway. Suffice to say, the bus journey was uneventful and extended.
Setback four:
In my company we have this broadcast that happens daily from 8.30am to 9.00am. 3 persons got birthday dedications, with one of them belated. I'm still wondering where's mine.
Setback five:
I screwed up my boss' appointments to say. She isn't happy. Need I say more??
Setback Six:
I found out that certain movements in my company may result in me having to move departments. Initially this was a good thing, as it gave me an option to help keep a certain someone in the company. Yet during lunch today, I came to know that this was the plan after all:
My Boss moves departments. I'm unchange because I report to both her current department and her new one. New boss moves to my current department. If I move to my new boss' department, and if they successfully create another position similar to mine, then I will move and allow the new boss to bring his previous assistant, who, by the way, is currently forced to take up other responsibilities because her position was eliminated, to my current department. My boss will be happy, the new boss will be happy, the assistant will be happy (but I, will have yet another ego bashing. To the core!
My worst fears is the fact that the assistant, may be nicer to me recently to ensure all this manuevering is successful! Bah! I feel so used! But this isn't the worse setback.....
Ultimate Setback for this 1/2 day, Setback Seven!:
An old friend from University found my recently created Friendster account and sent me a holler. After my reply, she gave me a heads up on several people that I know, including about a person, whom I consider is my idol, my superior, my complement, the "one" that got away.......She's married. (insert visual of heart dropping 19 floors to the ground, splattering all over). Do not misunderstand, she is the one that got away, and I have accepted there is no realistic way to ever find that opportunity again. However, to know this, on my 27th Birthday, after just receiving a relatively destructive setback...........arrrgh!!!!!!
If I wasn't working I would be crying. Really. sob. Hard.
I've endured having a National Blackout on my birthday, and many years of complete non-existence but today, is a day that will be on my mind for the rest of my life. It epitomise how my life is one of the simple, normal person. Shit happens when you hope for a bright new day. Dream all you want, since reality only knows the opposite.
Nothing lasts forever.....Thank god. That's my only consolation when dealing with pain. Now, let's try to make it go away (Sorry, will pass any offers of alcohol and drugs. Will not substitute one pain with another).
**** ****
Setback eight:
At 5.20pm, 10 minutes from a quick exit out of my office building, I was required to perform a last minute task that would generally require 40-60 minutes to complete. Worse of all, I can't really know if that last minute task needs to be undertaken until 6pm! You have no idea how unhappy I was. I decided to go ahead and perform the task anyway in 7 minutes and hand the completed result to the person in charge, letting them decide on the final go/no go decision.
Setback nine:
What else can stp me from leaving my office at 5.30p sharp now? How about a false alarm at 5.27pm? The alarm rang all the way until 6pm, and despite several announcements that it was indeed a false alarm, unfortunately the alarms triggered the 'no-function' option on the lifts, making hundreds of people leaving the building via the staircases. I was on 19th floor..........
**** ****
I'd like to thank the 2 souls that help keep me going after lunch. While you didn't really change the chemical makup affected my internals during that period, you id help prevent further deterioration of my chemicals within.
I really wanted to wait until the end of the day to post, so that I could put all the bad things that happened, and then some good things, so that hopefully I'd "see the line in the sand", find "the silver lining", spot "the blessing in disguise".....
But after the number of setbacks till 1.00pm....I can't hold on....Must blog...
Setback One:
Woke up late again. It doesn't help I'm not sleeping early enough, but having to see my Mom after work for the past few days haven't helped.
Setback Two:
My routine to work involves me walking downhill for approx. 15 minutes to the most accessible bus stop. Today, it chose to rain.
Setback Three:
Already I was late, there was also an accident on the Sungai Besi Highway. Suffice to say, the bus journey was uneventful and extended.
Setback four:
In my company we have this broadcast that happens daily from 8.30am to 9.00am. 3 persons got birthday dedications, with one of them belated. I'm still wondering where's mine.
Setback five:
I screwed up my boss' appointments to say. She isn't happy. Need I say more??
Setback Six:
I found out that certain movements in my company may result in me having to move departments. Initially this was a good thing, as it gave me an option to help keep a certain someone in the company. Yet during lunch today, I came to know that this was the plan after all:
My Boss moves departments. I'm unchange because I report to both her current department and her new one. New boss moves to my current department. If I move to my new boss' department, and if they successfully create another position similar to mine, then I will move and allow the new boss to bring his previous assistant, who, by the way, is currently forced to take up other responsibilities because her position was eliminated, to my current department. My boss will be happy, the new boss will be happy, the assistant will be happy (but I, will have yet another ego bashing. To the core!
My worst fears is the fact that the assistant, may be nicer to me recently to ensure all this manuevering is successful! Bah! I feel so used! But this isn't the worse setback.....
Ultimate Setback for this 1/2 day, Setback Seven!:
An old friend from University found my recently created Friendster account and sent me a holler. After my reply, she gave me a heads up on several people that I know, including about a person, whom I consider is my idol, my superior, my complement, the "one" that got away.......She's married. (insert visual of heart dropping 19 floors to the ground, splattering all over). Do not misunderstand, she is the one that got away, and I have accepted there is no realistic way to ever find that opportunity again. However, to know this, on my 27th Birthday, after just receiving a relatively destructive setback...........arrrgh!!!!!!
If I wasn't working I would be crying. Really. sob. Hard.
I've endured having a National Blackout on my birthday, and many years of complete non-existence but today, is a day that will be on my mind for the rest of my life. It epitomise how my life is one of the simple, normal person. Shit happens when you hope for a bright new day. Dream all you want, since reality only knows the opposite.
Nothing lasts forever.....Thank god. That's my only consolation when dealing with pain. Now, let's try to make it go away (Sorry, will pass any offers of alcohol and drugs. Will not substitute one pain with another).
**** ****
Setback eight:
At 5.20pm, 10 minutes from a quick exit out of my office building, I was required to perform a last minute task that would generally require 40-60 minutes to complete. Worse of all, I can't really know if that last minute task needs to be undertaken until 6pm! You have no idea how unhappy I was. I decided to go ahead and perform the task anyway in 7 minutes and hand the completed result to the person in charge, letting them decide on the final go/no go decision.
Setback nine:
What else can stp me from leaving my office at 5.30p sharp now? How about a false alarm at 5.27pm? The alarm rang all the way until 6pm, and despite several announcements that it was indeed a false alarm, unfortunately the alarms triggered the 'no-function' option on the lifts, making hundreds of people leaving the building via the staircases. I was on 19th floor..........
**** ****
I'd like to thank the 2 souls that help keep me going after lunch. While you didn't really change the chemical makup affected my internals during that period, you id help prevent further deterioration of my chemicals within.
Friday, July 29, 2005
And 72 hours was over
2 post in a single day! Hmmm, rarity..
To finish off the post I did about my, assignment at Langkawi, The 3rd Day was the most hectic off all. Morning meeting, lunch activities and Dinner by the beach required me to dso alot of work. I even had to delay lunch just to make sure the activity went on as planned. Not that lunch was very appetising anyway....
Dinner was a blast. It was a commemoration of Management who were leaving, or moving on, and it was done with such aplomb that no one voiced out their concern over the fact that dinner only got served at 10pm! Or, everyone was so polite they refused to interrupt proceedings. Note though, I felt so out of place during dinner I decided I'd vanish once I had enough food. So much for planning to leave before 10pm to watch Monday Night RAW (On Tuesday, 10pm Astro)! Left close to 11pm, but didn't watch TV anyway because I needed to be up the next day by 7am! The rest partied until 2am, I heard.....
Final day had another morning meeting, and I had to start ensuring everyone got to their flights on time. So only had some personal time like, after 2.30pm...Even then, all I did was to get a ride to town to do some meager shopping. Being Malaysian, there wasn't much I'd be interested to buy since I have seen all of it. Did buy a bottle of JD for RM 55! (Could have gotten it even cheaper, darn!)
At the end, I was given the responsibility to ensure the final check out price for the whole thing was correct...and the 32 people spent more than RM50K!
Overall, the hard work was quite fulfilling, not too much fun, but ultimately worth every second of my time. Now, to remember all the 32 person's names!
To finish off the post I did about my, assignment at Langkawi, The 3rd Day was the most hectic off all. Morning meeting, lunch activities and Dinner by the beach required me to dso alot of work. I even had to delay lunch just to make sure the activity went on as planned. Not that lunch was very appetising anyway....
Dinner was a blast. It was a commemoration of Management who were leaving, or moving on, and it was done with such aplomb that no one voiced out their concern over the fact that dinner only got served at 10pm! Or, everyone was so polite they refused to interrupt proceedings. Note though, I felt so out of place during dinner I decided I'd vanish once I had enough food. So much for planning to leave before 10pm to watch Monday Night RAW (On Tuesday, 10pm Astro)! Left close to 11pm, but didn't watch TV anyway because I needed to be up the next day by 7am! The rest partied until 2am, I heard.....
Final day had another morning meeting, and I had to start ensuring everyone got to their flights on time. So only had some personal time like, after 2.30pm...Even then, all I did was to get a ride to town to do some meager shopping. Being Malaysian, there wasn't much I'd be interested to buy since I have seen all of it. Did buy a bottle of JD for RM 55! (Could have gotten it even cheaper, darn!)
At the end, I was given the responsibility to ensure the final check out price for the whole thing was correct...and the 32 people spent more than RM50K!
Overall, the hard work was quite fulfilling, not too much fun, but ultimately worth every second of my time. Now, to remember all the 32 person's names!
Coping with depression
Sad to say, I must admit, I get depressed way to easily. Damn that chemical make-up. I use to deal with it rather extremely, either going ballistic or self destruct, or ignore it completely. It's time to face it head on.....Deal with it.
This time I was asked to not join a group for lunch. Something others would just shrug off, yet here I am, depressed. I know why I am depressed, the question is how do I deal with it? I have joined them many times for lunch, I guess probably not anymore....
I have long analysed that in any group of people, there will be 1 person (at least) who'd always be the fall guy. The guy everyone ignores, insults and bullies. Oh, they're rarely female. What I'd always hope was to not be that guy. Yet as I get on with life, I seem to play that role more and more often. Wherever I go, I seem to find myself trying to be in a group that I don't belong....or I don't know how.....
It doesn't help that I lack tact, and my inter-personal skills leaves a lot to be desired. And just when I thought I may have found a place that I belong, bang! Right in the face I get hit and I get left out again. Yes, I know how it feels. To be left out, all alone, when everyone thinks that you're weird and better left alone. I try to avoid doing the same to others as much as I can, unfortunately I admit, I make others feel the same way too. You reap what you sow?
So this thing, being outcast, isn't really others fault. There's no point keeping company of anyone that isn't really a company, so to speak. The onus truly lies on me. My inability to adapt results in me failing to connect. My inability to cope results in me trying to distance myself from others. Which basically comes down to the point, will I ever find home? A place to belong? I guess not, unless I change.
The question now is, how should I change? I've always hoped to get insomnia and reprogram how I think. Maybe that way I can start afresh and be less, alien. But that's wishful thinking. So what's more tangible, more reasonable?
I can't think of any now. But I do know it's time to cope with it and stop rebuilding walls to protect myself. If the walls are torn down, leave it down. Let pain walk right through it and learn to stand up again. Stop trying to resist this pain and try to condition myself to be tough enough to fend it off.
What's on my mind:
I have often dreamed, of a far off place
Where a hero's welcome, would be waiting for me
Where the crowds will cheer, when they see my face
And a voice keeps saying, this is where I'm meant to be
I'll be there someday, I can go the distance
I will find my way, if I can be strong
I know ev'ry mile, will be worth my while
When I go the distance, I'll be right where I belong
Down an unknown road, to embrace my fate
Though that road may wander, it will lead me to you
And a thousand years, would be worth the wait
It might take a lifetime, but somehow I'll see it through
And I won't look back, I can go the distance
And I'll stay on track, no, I won't accept defeat
It's an uphill slope, but I won't lose hope
Till I go the distance, and my journey is complete
But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part
For a hero's strength is measured by his heart
Like a shooting star, I will go the distance
I will search the world, I will face its' harms
I don't care how far, I can go the distance
Till I find my hero's welcome, waiting in your arms
I will search the world, I will face its harms
Till I find my hero's welcome, waiting in your arms
This time I was asked to not join a group for lunch. Something others would just shrug off, yet here I am, depressed. I know why I am depressed, the question is how do I deal with it? I have joined them many times for lunch, I guess probably not anymore....
I have long analysed that in any group of people, there will be 1 person (at least) who'd always be the fall guy. The guy everyone ignores, insults and bullies. Oh, they're rarely female. What I'd always hope was to not be that guy. Yet as I get on with life, I seem to play that role more and more often. Wherever I go, I seem to find myself trying to be in a group that I don't belong....or I don't know how.....
It doesn't help that I lack tact, and my inter-personal skills leaves a lot to be desired. And just when I thought I may have found a place that I belong, bang! Right in the face I get hit and I get left out again. Yes, I know how it feels. To be left out, all alone, when everyone thinks that you're weird and better left alone. I try to avoid doing the same to others as much as I can, unfortunately I admit, I make others feel the same way too. You reap what you sow?
So this thing, being outcast, isn't really others fault. There's no point keeping company of anyone that isn't really a company, so to speak. The onus truly lies on me. My inability to adapt results in me failing to connect. My inability to cope results in me trying to distance myself from others. Which basically comes down to the point, will I ever find home? A place to belong? I guess not, unless I change.
The question now is, how should I change? I've always hoped to get insomnia and reprogram how I think. Maybe that way I can start afresh and be less, alien. But that's wishful thinking. So what's more tangible, more reasonable?
I can't think of any now. But I do know it's time to cope with it and stop rebuilding walls to protect myself. If the walls are torn down, leave it down. Let pain walk right through it and learn to stand up again. Stop trying to resist this pain and try to condition myself to be tough enough to fend it off.
What's on my mind:
I have often dreamed, of a far off place
Where a hero's welcome, would be waiting for me
Where the crowds will cheer, when they see my face
And a voice keeps saying, this is where I'm meant to be
I'll be there someday, I can go the distance
I will find my way, if I can be strong
I know ev'ry mile, will be worth my while
When I go the distance, I'll be right where I belong
Down an unknown road, to embrace my fate
Though that road may wander, it will lead me to you
And a thousand years, would be worth the wait
It might take a lifetime, but somehow I'll see it through
And I won't look back, I can go the distance
And I'll stay on track, no, I won't accept defeat
It's an uphill slope, but I won't lose hope
Till I go the distance, and my journey is complete
But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part
For a hero's strength is measured by his heart
Like a shooting star, I will go the distance
I will search the world, I will face its' harms
I don't care how far, I can go the distance
Till I find my hero's welcome, waiting in your arms
I will search the world, I will face its harms
Till I find my hero's welcome, waiting in your arms
Monday, July 25, 2005
29 hours already?
And today passed....just like that.
Basically I was like an extra reception counter for my colleagues today. At least I manage to help get 4 persons on a diving excursion, 10 persons on a Mangrove tour (which all return extremely grateful to have gone), 4 on an afternoon tee-off (they must be nuts!) and several to the Spa. I think I'm gonna do that on Wednesday if I am still alive.
Met with the 'head' honcho today, and found him to me more down to earth than I expected. Even the next in command was just as nice. Again, who really knows when it's real? At least they are better at it compared to my immediate superiors.
There's about 30+ of them who make my company's regional management. And this, I observe are the common themes:
95% are married
95% do not smoke
95% are well travelled/loves travelling
80% are in their 40s.
So note to self:
1) You're too young to be that far ahead.
2) You're not Married.
3) You don't travel enough.
Till then, Dream the 10K salary a month......
Basically I was like an extra reception counter for my colleagues today. At least I manage to help get 4 persons on a diving excursion, 10 persons on a Mangrove tour (which all return extremely grateful to have gone), 4 on an afternoon tee-off (they must be nuts!) and several to the Spa. I think I'm gonna do that on Wednesday if I am still alive.
Met with the 'head' honcho today, and found him to me more down to earth than I expected. Even the next in command was just as nice. Again, who really knows when it's real? At least they are better at it compared to my immediate superiors.
There's about 30+ of them who make my company's regional management. And this, I observe are the common themes:
95% are married
95% do not smoke
95% are well travelled/loves travelling
80% are in their 40s.
So note to self:
1) You're too young to be that far ahead.
2) You're not Married.
3) You don't travel enough.
Till then, Dream the 10K salary a month......
Sunday, July 24, 2005
5 hours and counting
Arrived Langkawi at 5.45....Reached hotel at 6.15. Hotel looks cool, but has too much of a forest environment that, well, I am cool too with. That KL lifestyle just suites me best.
My room is rather huge....I can do an eight-man draft (For M:TG Players) or it can sleep 4 with sufficient bed and floor space. The shower passed the test (I am very paticular about hotel bathrooms, fyi) and I am happy with the bathroom. Will probably do the bathtub in 48 hours.
Thank god they had StarSports. Otherwise I'd have to miss next Tuesday's Monday Night RAW....And that ain't cool. Otherwise I don't think I'd be watching a lot of TV in the next few days.
Tomorrows agenda involves me setting up a hospitality booth for the other colleagues to use as information counter. Somehow that, for me, is better than a Mangrove tour....I need help!
5 hours gone....67 more to go.....I hope you have been praiyng for me!
My room is rather huge....I can do an eight-man draft (For M:TG Players) or it can sleep 4 with sufficient bed and floor space. The shower passed the test (I am very paticular about hotel bathrooms, fyi) and I am happy with the bathroom. Will probably do the bathtub in 48 hours.
Thank god they had StarSports. Otherwise I'd have to miss next Tuesday's Monday Night RAW....And that ain't cool. Otherwise I don't think I'd be watching a lot of TV in the next few days.
Tomorrows agenda involves me setting up a hospitality booth for the other colleagues to use as information counter. Somehow that, for me, is better than a Mangrove tour....I need help!
5 hours gone....67 more to go.....I hope you have been praiyng for me!
Saturday, July 23, 2005
Swept Away
Tomorrow I will be flying-off to Langkawi. Not too sure why I am there, but I guess following instructions, even in this day and age, is somewhat appreciated.
My company is holding a regional meet there. During it's inception, right until this Friday, I had known of the plans and played some parts to putting everything together. At least that's what the powers that be think. in my honest opinion, I only followed instructions per my role as an assistant. In my 1 1/2 years in that role, that was part of my job, so being awarded with the opportunity to join this meet was, well, unexpected?
Granted, I had thought of it before. They should send me so that someone can get everything in order while they have fun. I seem to like doing these selfless roles, I don't know why. Some hopeless way to be useful, maybe?
Anyway, now I am tasked with so little knowlede of my role over there, but I am goig there anyway. I don't believe my boss likes it, though when she told me of the news after lunch on Friday, she 'encouraged' me to go. Again, "learn from the est" I tell you. When receiving the news, I was so taken aback I failed to realise the mess was putting mysef into. Note: This Regional meet is meant for, bigger players of my company....To illustrate, if I am a cadet, everyone is at captain rank or higher.
Oh bull, wha I am talking about? I get a 3 day AEP (All Expense Paid) trip to Langkawi without having to take leave and I am complaining? Somebody shoot me....
If you read this, may I have a request? Pray that nothing bad happens this week...
Thanks!
My company is holding a regional meet there. During it's inception, right until this Friday, I had known of the plans and played some parts to putting everything together. At least that's what the powers that be think. in my honest opinion, I only followed instructions per my role as an assistant. In my 1 1/2 years in that role, that was part of my job, so being awarded with the opportunity to join this meet was, well, unexpected?
Granted, I had thought of it before. They should send me so that someone can get everything in order while they have fun. I seem to like doing these selfless roles, I don't know why. Some hopeless way to be useful, maybe?
Anyway, now I am tasked with so little knowlede of my role over there, but I am goig there anyway. I don't believe my boss likes it, though when she told me of the news after lunch on Friday, she 'encouraged' me to go. Again, "learn from the est" I tell you. When receiving the news, I was so taken aback I failed to realise the mess was putting mysef into. Note: This Regional meet is meant for, bigger players of my company....To illustrate, if I am a cadet, everyone is at captain rank or higher.
Oh bull, wha I am talking about? I get a 3 day AEP (All Expense Paid) trip to Langkawi without having to take leave and I am complaining? Somebody shoot me....
If you read this, may I have a request? Pray that nothing bad happens this week...
Thanks!
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
A repeat in History
That didn't happen. While things went down hill almost immediately after July 1st last year, things seems to have change, hopefully for the better this year. And to top it off, I haven't been depressed since May 1st...........hmmmmm.....
I wish I have more to write, but tentatively everything is underway, without anything being completed. Chances are, less than half of my 'journeys' will end positively for me, and while I hate the Sales theory of improved success with improved attempts, it seems that's what I'm heading as of this moment.
My RPGs took a halt, but are planned to be continued this weekend. My career (what career) seems to have halted as well, but then again I will need to want it enough for it to move again (basically I'm still waiting). My love life,......if any, is as before. With the difference that I now chose to spend time with people who I enjoy being with, even if there is no gurantee that I'll always enjoy their company, nor will I always have their company. I'll take whatever that I can get, thank you.
I now have a friend to go MPO (Malaysia Philharmonic Orchestra) with, so I no longer have to go alone. Yes, all things being equal, somethings just aren't meant to be done on one's own. Yet.
I still have some things I am still procrastinating.....Now that I'm at it, let's do a top 10 list (wow, that many??)
10. Own a house.
9. Sing aloud to crowds.
8. Pay off Study Loan.
7. Learn Mandarin
6. Go on diet.
5. Learn to drive & own a car.
4. Exercise!
3. Play the piano like a pro.
2. Find Sig-Other.
1. Start composing again.
The list is out...But will I do it?????????
I wish I have more to write, but tentatively everything is underway, without anything being completed. Chances are, less than half of my 'journeys' will end positively for me, and while I hate the Sales theory of improved success with improved attempts, it seems that's what I'm heading as of this moment.
My RPGs took a halt, but are planned to be continued this weekend. My career (what career) seems to have halted as well, but then again I will need to want it enough for it to move again (basically I'm still waiting). My love life,......if any, is as before. With the difference that I now chose to spend time with people who I enjoy being with, even if there is no gurantee that I'll always enjoy their company, nor will I always have their company. I'll take whatever that I can get, thank you.
I now have a friend to go MPO (Malaysia Philharmonic Orchestra) with, so I no longer have to go alone. Yes, all things being equal, somethings just aren't meant to be done on one's own. Yet.
I still have some things I am still procrastinating.....Now that I'm at it, let's do a top 10 list (wow, that many??)
10. Own a house.
9. Sing aloud to crowds.
8. Pay off Study Loan.
7. Learn Mandarin
6. Go on diet.
5. Learn to drive & own a car.
4. Exercise!
3. Play the piano like a pro.
2. Find Sig-Other.
1. Start composing again.
The list is out...But will I do it?????????
Friday, July 01, 2005
My Classical Top 3
Number 3: Symphonies
Symphonies are basically 4 movement composition that is meant for the whole orchestra. Certain composers have gotten creative (or plain smart alec) and alter it to 3 or 5 movement compositions. In general, the first and the last movement are lively and of moderate pace, while the second or sometimes third is a sombre/slow movement. The remaining piece is usually the shortestof the four, and more often than not dance-like/2-themed.
My personal favourite - Schubert's Symphony No. 4 - Tragic. An awesome piece (barring the slower second movement, that seemed to be longer than I would like), it's 1st and 4th movement seems like music created with mathematics, where all the notes are written as though it's under a standard formula. Yet the whole piece flow together so well.......A piece I can rely on for mental strength.
Number 2: Piano Concertos
My favourite musica instrument is the piano, and I plan to learn how to play one by 30 (yes, poor bloke like me didn't get musical training during my youth...sob sob). I have 2 years left........fingers crossed...
Back to Piano Concertos, it's usually a 3 movement composition for a piano(lead) and the orchestra with a grand/moderately paced 1st movement, which usually carries a theme that will be used (after a little evolution) for the whole piece. The 2nd movement is usually slow, though some composers have added twists to their 2nd movements with a short burst somewhere in the middle. The last movement is usually fast and furious, though some add a little slow tempo every now and then. Rarely do they have 4 movements, bar some creative/smart alecs. Oh, there's usually a cadenza (I hope I got that right) that allows the soloist(piano) to strut some skills. Usually this is the most technical part for the soloist, however some composers have intentionally written this part as well (others let the soloist improvise) to be 'not so difficult'.
Personal Favourite: A tie between Schumann Piano Concerto in A minor and Mozart's Piano Concerto No.20. Schumann's Concerto is great overall with a superbly written final movement (IMO). Unfortunately, I lack the musical affinity to describe it without doing injustice to the movement. Mozart's No.20 is one of the few 'dark/sonbre' concertos that he has written. All 3 movements are excellent, with many critics stating that the piece is ahead of its time.
Numero Uno: Overtures
Overtures usually are 1 movement compositions for the orchestra. Mostly written as introduction to plays or suites, some are also written for festivals or other personal occasions. Notable few (off the top off my head) 1812 Overture(Tchaikovsky), Overture "Father & Son" (Mendelsohn), Egmont Overture (Beethoven), Tragic Overture (Brahms) and Overture to Manfred (Schumann).
Personal Favourite: Overture to Manfred. The Overture was composed for a play where it's lead Manfred, eventually became insane. And the theme for the overture, IMO, does brink on insanity. The whole piece is extremely invigorating with it's climax (twice) comprise of a series of quickly played notes that (due to my poor musical knowledge) seemed impossible to compose.
There you have it...My personal favourites....
Symphonies are basically 4 movement composition that is meant for the whole orchestra. Certain composers have gotten creative (or plain smart alec) and alter it to 3 or 5 movement compositions. In general, the first and the last movement are lively and of moderate pace, while the second or sometimes third is a sombre/slow movement. The remaining piece is usually the shortestof the four, and more often than not dance-like/2-themed.
My personal favourite - Schubert's Symphony No. 4 - Tragic. An awesome piece (barring the slower second movement, that seemed to be longer than I would like), it's 1st and 4th movement seems like music created with mathematics, where all the notes are written as though it's under a standard formula. Yet the whole piece flow together so well.......A piece I can rely on for mental strength.
Number 2: Piano Concertos
My favourite musica instrument is the piano, and I plan to learn how to play one by 30 (yes, poor bloke like me didn't get musical training during my youth...sob sob). I have 2 years left........fingers crossed...
Back to Piano Concertos, it's usually a 3 movement composition for a piano(lead) and the orchestra with a grand/moderately paced 1st movement, which usually carries a theme that will be used (after a little evolution) for the whole piece. The 2nd movement is usually slow, though some composers have added twists to their 2nd movements with a short burst somewhere in the middle. The last movement is usually fast and furious, though some add a little slow tempo every now and then. Rarely do they have 4 movements, bar some creative/smart alecs. Oh, there's usually a cadenza (I hope I got that right) that allows the soloist(piano) to strut some skills. Usually this is the most technical part for the soloist, however some composers have intentionally written this part as well (others let the soloist improvise) to be 'not so difficult'.
Personal Favourite: A tie between Schumann Piano Concerto in A minor and Mozart's Piano Concerto No.20. Schumann's Concerto is great overall with a superbly written final movement (IMO). Unfortunately, I lack the musical affinity to describe it without doing injustice to the movement. Mozart's No.20 is one of the few 'dark/sonbre' concertos that he has written. All 3 movements are excellent, with many critics stating that the piece is ahead of its time.
Numero Uno: Overtures
Overtures usually are 1 movement compositions for the orchestra. Mostly written as introduction to plays or suites, some are also written for festivals or other personal occasions. Notable few (off the top off my head) 1812 Overture(Tchaikovsky), Overture "Father & Son" (Mendelsohn), Egmont Overture (Beethoven), Tragic Overture (Brahms) and Overture to Manfred (Schumann).
Personal Favourite: Overture to Manfred. The Overture was composed for a play where it's lead Manfred, eventually became insane. And the theme for the overture, IMO, does brink on insanity. The whole piece is extremely invigorating with it's climax (twice) comprise of a series of quickly played notes that (due to my poor musical knowledge) seemed impossible to compose.
There you have it...My personal favourites....
Monday, June 27, 2005
Deja Vu??
How do I explain this?
About a year ago, nearing July, I was onto a nervous wreck. At the same time, I was also in the company of a rather attractive female......Ironic? Of course, nothing really happened, but let's start from the beginning.
Several weeks leading to July 1st 2004, I was in a position to hate my job so much that I very well wouldn't want to work anymore (Not that too much of that has changed). Then this colleague of mine at work began to get closer to me that I thought. Needing a diversion from work, I indulged myself in this 'impossibility' as my mind was close to loosing control. I even let her make me express my feelings, something that I usually would only do after a whole lot of thought. Real lot.
It did't help the fact that she is attractive, to many people as well. Yes, you could say I got suckered in the love game. It did do several good things to me....I got my first movie date after what, 18 months? I also could go ahead working without thinking too much about how I hated it. Oh, I should mention that I won my first Raw Deal (Wrestling CCG) Tournament that weekend too. So things couldn't be any better, right?
It lasted exactly 1 week. I followed it with a week of annual leave,which was cut short to 3 days due to 'business need'. After that things went from extremely friendly to complete strangers between me and her (My fault, really!). Not that it was bad, really. My, erm, impulsive behaviour would have been detrimental to my personality, if things happened like anything but now...(Note to self, need to write on my need to be an individual, however ridiculous it is)
Ok, how is this deja vu? Well, first off, I am...........'looking' again (Barry, if you ever see this, like ever, please don't choke and die, ok?). I think I have seen, however.......but things move slower than me...And I am really, really slow. At the same time, I am also enjoying my non-work life more through running tournaments again, and (wow) 2 RPGs sessions for 12 hours in 1 weekend! (more on that later)
I have 4 days to July 1st. Patience is a virtue. Hopefully I have it.
About a year ago, nearing July, I was onto a nervous wreck. At the same time, I was also in the company of a rather attractive female......Ironic? Of course, nothing really happened, but let's start from the beginning.
Several weeks leading to July 1st 2004, I was in a position to hate my job so much that I very well wouldn't want to work anymore (Not that too much of that has changed). Then this colleague of mine at work began to get closer to me that I thought. Needing a diversion from work, I indulged myself in this 'impossibility' as my mind was close to loosing control. I even let her make me express my feelings, something that I usually would only do after a whole lot of thought. Real lot.
It did't help the fact that she is attractive, to many people as well. Yes, you could say I got suckered in the love game. It did do several good things to me....I got my first movie date after what, 18 months? I also could go ahead working without thinking too much about how I hated it. Oh, I should mention that I won my first Raw Deal (Wrestling CCG) Tournament that weekend too. So things couldn't be any better, right?
It lasted exactly 1 week. I followed it with a week of annual leave,which was cut short to 3 days due to 'business need'. After that things went from extremely friendly to complete strangers between me and her (My fault, really!). Not that it was bad, really. My, erm, impulsive behaviour would have been detrimental to my personality, if things happened like anything but now...(Note to self, need to write on my need to be an individual, however ridiculous it is)
Ok, how is this deja vu? Well, first off, I am...........'looking' again (Barry, if you ever see this, like ever, please don't choke and die, ok?). I think I have seen, however.......but things move slower than me...And I am really, really slow. At the same time, I am also enjoying my non-work life more through running tournaments again, and (wow) 2 RPGs sessions for 12 hours in 1 weekend! (more on that later)
I have 4 days to July 1st. Patience is a virtue. Hopefully I have it.
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
What's on my mind now
Artist: Wilson Phillips
Title: Give It Up
You can't hide it from me
Admit it baby
'cause i'm wise to your disguise
I've seen you love me with your eyes
Even if you think i'm a fool and i just can't tell
Then you don't know me well
Won't you come over here and break the ice
It would be so nice
It's what you want when you're around me
You're a little bit shy, and i feel the need
And i can tell that you're happy you found me
Just give it up...
Chorus:
Why wait around when you know what you're feeling (give it up)
I look through your eyes
I can see that you want somebody (give it up)
It could feel so good to get into it.
Give it up! give it up! you want it baby.
Give it up! give it up! you know you got me.
Come on, come on, come on and give it up.
I can't, i can't lie to you
Now we can all tell stories so come over here and love me. uh-huh
Even if you think i'm a fool and i just can't tell
Sorry i know you well.
And i know you will
Come over here and love me
It's what you want when you're around me
You're a little bit shy, and i feel the need
And i can tell that you're happy you found me
Just give it up...
(chorus)
So dream your way into my life
'cause baby i'll give you tonight
I'll bring all your pictures to life
Give it up! give it up! give it up! give it up!
Give it up... (ooh god) give it up... just give it up...give it up
Give it up! give it up (yeah!)
Give it up! give it up!
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, give it up
Give it up! won't you give it up baby tonight?
Fade
*************************************************************************************
I need to get this downloaded.....hmmmm
Title: Give It Up
You can't hide it from me
Admit it baby
'cause i'm wise to your disguise
I've seen you love me with your eyes
Even if you think i'm a fool and i just can't tell
Then you don't know me well
Won't you come over here and break the ice
It would be so nice
It's what you want when you're around me
You're a little bit shy, and i feel the need
And i can tell that you're happy you found me
Just give it up...
Chorus:
Why wait around when you know what you're feeling (give it up)
I look through your eyes
I can see that you want somebody (give it up)
It could feel so good to get into it.
Give it up! give it up! you want it baby.
Give it up! give it up! you know you got me.
Come on, come on, come on and give it up.
I can't, i can't lie to you
Now we can all tell stories so come over here and love me. uh-huh
Even if you think i'm a fool and i just can't tell
Sorry i know you well.
And i know you will
Come over here and love me
It's what you want when you're around me
You're a little bit shy, and i feel the need
And i can tell that you're happy you found me
Just give it up...
(chorus)
So dream your way into my life
'cause baby i'll give you tonight
I'll bring all your pictures to life
Give it up! give it up! give it up! give it up!
Give it up... (ooh god) give it up... just give it up...give it up
Give it up! give it up (yeah!)
Give it up! give it up!
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, give it up
Give it up! won't you give it up baby tonight?
Fade
*************************************************************************************
I need to get this downloaded.....hmmmm
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
I must be in a different dimension!!
Yet again, another 'leader' in the company display lack of......English Comprehension. One wonders what exactly do the management look at to select lower level leaders....Other than the obvious, "Mess with the process, you do not..."
Incompetence seems to be their favourite past time. At my level, it should be forgivable, though not acceptable. However, at their level, do they not see that their incompetence reflects badly on their effectiveness and inteligence?
I'd understand if the person is new. New to being a people leader. New to my department. My company. But we are talking about people who's been here longer than I have. Been a leader for more than 6 months. DOn't they see the relevance in learning more than just how to politic their way through the company?
I think I have boiled over here. I use to emphatise that there could be reasons why they know so little about the job. Now, being there before, I know it's because of 2 reasons:
They couldn't be bothered; or, They can't. For what it's worth, they're still there and I'm here.
Had a discussion with some colleagues the other day and this guy who's relatively new complained that it's the management culture that has resulted to things being this way. And if management doesn't change, neither will the lower level leaders. In other words, we are all doomed.
Maybe it's time to bolt, but I fail to see how other companies may be different from this one. Maybe I am destined to make the change. Or I am meant to be the final fall guy. Until lightning strikes me, I don't feel like being mr. Nice Guy and save the world. If it won't save itself, then it's high time the population on earth goes through a major reduction.
May the strongest live and the less strong, strive.
Incompetence seems to be their favourite past time. At my level, it should be forgivable, though not acceptable. However, at their level, do they not see that their incompetence reflects badly on their effectiveness and inteligence?
I'd understand if the person is new. New to being a people leader. New to my department. My company. But we are talking about people who's been here longer than I have. Been a leader for more than 6 months. DOn't they see the relevance in learning more than just how to politic their way through the company?
I think I have boiled over here. I use to emphatise that there could be reasons why they know so little about the job. Now, being there before, I know it's because of 2 reasons:
They couldn't be bothered; or, They can't. For what it's worth, they're still there and I'm here.
Had a discussion with some colleagues the other day and this guy who's relatively new complained that it's the management culture that has resulted to things being this way. And if management doesn't change, neither will the lower level leaders. In other words, we are all doomed.
Maybe it's time to bolt, but I fail to see how other companies may be different from this one. Maybe I am destined to make the change. Or I am meant to be the final fall guy. Until lightning strikes me, I don't feel like being mr. Nice Guy and save the world. If it won't save itself, then it's high time the population on earth goes through a major reduction.
May the strongest live and the less strong, strive.
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Why do I have to work with such bumbling baffons!!!
For me to write this means I'm truly boiling over. No doubt my sentiments aren't all true, but hell? Why is it people who are leaders can know so little of the business and it's processes and survive in the workplace? Can the powers that be not see their shortcomings?
They make it so hard to get into those positions, yet so little that make the cut portray what the requirements needed them to show.
It seems like leadership is a quality exclusive of all other good qualities, like common sense, ability to learn, hardworking, passionate, quick thinking, creativity and innovation, etc. All leaders know is how to make people think they know better. And they don't. Or they do....We'll, what's perceive as true almost always alters the truth.
These jokers can come ask me for the silliest of assistance, as though they got to where they are by inheritance. So what Dilbert says must be true, you only get promoted to make sure you don't mess with with process. Idiots get promoted. Sure, some great leaders are smart and benevolent, but for every great leader, you'll have 1 million sucky ones that unfortunately the masses can't tell the difference.
When will we live in a society where merit belong to the deserving? How much more will mankind chose to let mediocracy lead it's future??
Pissed is an understatement now.
They make it so hard to get into those positions, yet so little that make the cut portray what the requirements needed them to show.
It seems like leadership is a quality exclusive of all other good qualities, like common sense, ability to learn, hardworking, passionate, quick thinking, creativity and innovation, etc. All leaders know is how to make people think they know better. And they don't. Or they do....We'll, what's perceive as true almost always alters the truth.
These jokers can come ask me for the silliest of assistance, as though they got to where they are by inheritance. So what Dilbert says must be true, you only get promoted to make sure you don't mess with with process. Idiots get promoted. Sure, some great leaders are smart and benevolent, but for every great leader, you'll have 1 million sucky ones that unfortunately the masses can't tell the difference.
When will we live in a society where merit belong to the deserving? How much more will mankind chose to let mediocracy lead it's future??
Pissed is an understatement now.
And so I hated Love........
Lazy to write anything new, so I will post Part 2 of "Why I'm NOt In Love"
*************************************************************************************
If you are not convinced to stop after reading Part One;
Let me remind you how poor your records are
You have:
Fallen for X different girls in your lifetime
X/2 +1 of which knew how you felt
X/2 -1 were oblivious of it
Yet none ever set you free from your loneliness
Those who knew how you felt
Didn't reciprocate
Those who didn't know
Didn't know why you never kept in touch
The moment you get rejected
You plunged into depression
And invoked Suicide Mode
Hating yourself, Finding faults with them
Totally ignoring the reasons why you loved them in the first place
When you finally concede and let things be
Your heart tries to make you change your mind
And out of desperation
You do the silliest and destructive things
By giving them Ultimatums that even you would not agree
To end the pain inside
You burn bridges, severe ties
Only to regret it later in your life
Only when there is no turning back
So stop being a fool for love
Understand that your heart is weak
And beat it at it's own game
Don't let it cloud your judgment
For that is your only saving grace
Still unconvinced?
Check out part 3 for case studies
*************************************************************************************
Well, there isn't any part 3, nor do I hope I end up writing them. I actually ended up trying again last year, to no success ofcourse. By now I have come to realise that no amount of control can stop me from falling for someone. However, my fear of rejection, coupled by my ability to procrastinate, ensures that I will go no further than just that, falling for someone. So without external forces, nothing will change.
Until the time when that someone is more than I can fall for, it is also one that I can die for, live for, fight for and be happy for, these 2 parts will help me keep myself in check. Lightning will strike eventually, when I least expect it...Let it be.......(could not complete the sentence as it contradicts me...)
*************************************************************************************
If you are not convinced to stop after reading Part One;
Let me remind you how poor your records are
You have:
Fallen for X different girls in your lifetime
X/2 +1 of which knew how you felt
X/2 -1 were oblivious of it
Yet none ever set you free from your loneliness
Those who knew how you felt
Didn't reciprocate
Those who didn't know
Didn't know why you never kept in touch
The moment you get rejected
You plunged into depression
And invoked Suicide Mode
Hating yourself, Finding faults with them
Totally ignoring the reasons why you loved them in the first place
When you finally concede and let things be
Your heart tries to make you change your mind
And out of desperation
You do the silliest and destructive things
By giving them Ultimatums that even you would not agree
To end the pain inside
You burn bridges, severe ties
Only to regret it later in your life
Only when there is no turning back
So stop being a fool for love
Understand that your heart is weak
And beat it at it's own game
Don't let it cloud your judgment
For that is your only saving grace
Still unconvinced?
Check out part 3 for case studies
*************************************************************************************
Well, there isn't any part 3, nor do I hope I end up writing them. I actually ended up trying again last year, to no success ofcourse. By now I have come to realise that no amount of control can stop me from falling for someone. However, my fear of rejection, coupled by my ability to procrastinate, ensures that I will go no further than just that, falling for someone. So without external forces, nothing will change.
Until the time when that someone is more than I can fall for, it is also one that I can die for, live for, fight for and be happy for, these 2 parts will help me keep myself in check. Lightning will strike eventually, when I least expect it...Let it be.......(could not complete the sentence as it contradicts me...)
Monday, June 13, 2005
Part 2 will have to wait....
Sorry. Not keen in posting part 2 of a very sorry and sordid me relating about falling in love. Not yet, anyway.
Been.........unproductive lately. Wait, that's like 3 months running, no?
Several highlights of the weekend...
1) FFK( that's Fong Fei Kei in cantonese, or missing appointment) my sister when we were suppose to go to a talk hosted by Pantai Medical on obesity and yet another solution to it. My sister told me that it was a real talk, a medical one, and that the procedure is actually meant for those with morbid obesity. It involves putting a 'valve' around your stomach entrance to reduce it's size and give you a full feeling. If only I had RM 80K......
2) Went to the shop only to be somewhat dissapointed that, well, I missed alot of fun. Why I say somewhat? Because I doubt I would had the capacity to enjoy what they did, knowing the controls in me will hinder my capability to 'follow through'. In other words, better non-existent than party pooper. Besides, everyone had fun, so that's hardly a bad thing. If I need to have fun too, I'd find my own ways.
3) Also somewhat dissapointed was that certain expected interaction with certain individuals at the shop didn't occur, or occurred long enough. I only manage to play several Wrestling matches and that was with the "Bitch" of the Year. Man, I hate that "B". I do. Fortunately there were a group of guys playing M:TG as they prepare themselves for the Regionals. Short note: Regionals is a competition that allows one to be invited to Nationals, an yearly invited competition that has good money to be won. Not to mention the title of being the best the country has to offer that year.
Actually ended up playing M:TG until 1.30am. Was having so much fun with this Blue Control deck against a Mono Red blasting deck. On several occasions when I had absolutely no answer and I still won, the Red Deck didn't seem to draw questions.
My continuous abuse of work time has now lead me to reading & rereading old post on certain individual's blogs. As mentioned before, blogs are a safe way to know people, without having to go through the (possible) horrible time of conversation (If you can't tell my people skills are zero by now, welcome aboard!). Not to mention the option to pretend I know nothing, when in fact I do. I like information, and I have problems sharing it...
Yeah, that's what I wanted to write in the first place. Cheap shots at quotes I don't know by who:
" Knowledge is Power"
" He who knows not, and knows not he knows not, he is a fool, leave him.
He who knows not, and knows he knows not, he is simple, teach him.
He who knows, and knows not he knows, he is asleep, wake him.
He who knows, and knows he knows, he is wise, follow him"
I knew those quotes since I was eight (FYI, I can't seem to remember much of what I did when I was 7, so everything seemed to have happened when I was 8....) and have since always wanted to know more that I needed. That lead me to being somewhat of a busybody, always eager to poke my nose into other poeple's problems, like helping with homework when they can do it themselves, giving solutions to problems that others never asked....etc...Eventually I guess people got tired of my take without giving attitude (on information) that no one bothered to be friends with me. That, coupled with my stringent requirement to be "My" friend, results in me having an extremely limited pool of close contacts. People that would hang out with me. People that would want my company.
Content check...Talk about information, not why you are an island...Focus...
Back to reading the blog for information. It's nice to know about people, what they did, how they felt, who did what, etc... It's like soap opera, real life. Never gonna happen to me, so being a spectator is as good as it gets. Not really the kind of information that constitutes raw power, like who's next on the hitman's list, what stock will rise in a couple of days to make me filthy rich...etc..but it does gives me an edge over others. There's this sense of achievement to see the bigger picture better than others, or it's just me and my (what)ego..
Information has a strange way of being powerful. The whole, I know something you know is already a measure of power. Coupled that with, what I know can manipulate what you know, and not, is even greater power. Factor in that your actions rely on what you know, that's currently factored by what I tell you..........To break that chain, you need to know, not just from 1 source, but from multiple sources. Ensure they correlate and then you will have the edge (no reference to the edge in V:TES, but that's another story.) With it, at the very least you're less likely to be flanked in most situations.
Hope those who know me won't start to block me from reading their blogs now. It's good entertainment too!
P.s. Apologies for the weird writing style. I personally don't know who I am writing to most of the time, myself, or you?
Been.........unproductive lately. Wait, that's like 3 months running, no?
Several highlights of the weekend...
1) FFK( that's Fong Fei Kei in cantonese, or missing appointment) my sister when we were suppose to go to a talk hosted by Pantai Medical on obesity and yet another solution to it. My sister told me that it was a real talk, a medical one, and that the procedure is actually meant for those with morbid obesity. It involves putting a 'valve' around your stomach entrance to reduce it's size and give you a full feeling. If only I had RM 80K......
2) Went to the shop only to be somewhat dissapointed that, well, I missed alot of fun. Why I say somewhat? Because I doubt I would had the capacity to enjoy what they did, knowing the controls in me will hinder my capability to 'follow through'. In other words, better non-existent than party pooper. Besides, everyone had fun, so that's hardly a bad thing. If I need to have fun too, I'd find my own ways.
3) Also somewhat dissapointed was that certain expected interaction with certain individuals at the shop didn't occur, or occurred long enough. I only manage to play several Wrestling matches and that was with the "Bitch" of the Year. Man, I hate that "B". I do. Fortunately there were a group of guys playing M:TG as they prepare themselves for the Regionals. Short note: Regionals is a competition that allows one to be invited to Nationals, an yearly invited competition that has good money to be won. Not to mention the title of being the best the country has to offer that year.
Actually ended up playing M:TG until 1.30am. Was having so much fun with this Blue Control deck against a Mono Red blasting deck. On several occasions when I had absolutely no answer and I still won, the Red Deck didn't seem to draw questions.
My continuous abuse of work time has now lead me to reading & rereading old post on certain individual's blogs. As mentioned before, blogs are a safe way to know people, without having to go through the (possible) horrible time of conversation (If you can't tell my people skills are zero by now, welcome aboard!). Not to mention the option to pretend I know nothing, when in fact I do. I like information, and I have problems sharing it...
Yeah, that's what I wanted to write in the first place. Cheap shots at quotes I don't know by who:
" Knowledge is Power"
" He who knows not, and knows not he knows not, he is a fool, leave him.
He who knows not, and knows he knows not, he is simple, teach him.
He who knows, and knows not he knows, he is asleep, wake him.
He who knows, and knows he knows, he is wise, follow him"
I knew those quotes since I was eight (FYI, I can't seem to remember much of what I did when I was 7, so everything seemed to have happened when I was 8....) and have since always wanted to know more that I needed. That lead me to being somewhat of a busybody, always eager to poke my nose into other poeple's problems, like helping with homework when they can do it themselves, giving solutions to problems that others never asked....etc...Eventually I guess people got tired of my take without giving attitude (on information) that no one bothered to be friends with me. That, coupled with my stringent requirement to be "My" friend, results in me having an extremely limited pool of close contacts. People that would hang out with me. People that would want my company.
Content check...Talk about information, not why you are an island...Focus...
Back to reading the blog for information. It's nice to know about people, what they did, how they felt, who did what, etc... It's like soap opera, real life. Never gonna happen to me, so being a spectator is as good as it gets. Not really the kind of information that constitutes raw power, like who's next on the hitman's list, what stock will rise in a couple of days to make me filthy rich...etc..but it does gives me an edge over others. There's this sense of achievement to see the bigger picture better than others, or it's just me and my (what)ego..
Information has a strange way of being powerful. The whole, I know something you know is already a measure of power. Coupled that with, what I know can manipulate what you know, and not, is even greater power. Factor in that your actions rely on what you know, that's currently factored by what I tell you..........To break that chain, you need to know, not just from 1 source, but from multiple sources. Ensure they correlate and then you will have the edge (no reference to the edge in V:TES, but that's another story.) With it, at the very least you're less likely to be flanked in most situations.
Hope those who know me won't start to block me from reading their blogs now. It's good entertainment too!
P.s. Apologies for the weird writing style. I personally don't know who I am writing to most of the time, myself, or you?
Thursday, June 09, 2005
Not for the faint hearted
I wrote this back in 2003, when I didn't know of "BLOG" and needed a good reminder to myself before I put myself in a 'life-threatening' situation again.
I shall put it here. Apologies if this isn't fresh...
************************************************************************************
Part 1: If you (think) fall in love.......
Again
It means that it's been a long time since your mind overwhelmingly exposes the shortcomings that your heart is showing
That your heart seems to have forgotten how it puts you into the most embarrassing and silly situations just to satisfy it's natural instinct
The instinct to be with another human being
To no longer be alone
However, weak as it is and forgetful
Your heart fails to understand that until a time you are willing to be someone they need to convince them that you are sincere
You will only hurt yourself
Not to mention make a total fool of yourself
The heart has an array of tricks to make you think otherwise
To disillusion you into believing this could be it
The right girl, the right feel, the right time
But it is never true!!
NEVER!!
The heart only knows how to react when your biological clock ticks
And tick it will, louder and louder as time passes
Know that no matter how much you feel the need, you are simply incapable of doing it right
Saying what they want to hear, doing what they want to see,
Feeling what they need you to feel, at the precise time
And by the time you realise it, it is always too late
Or NEVER!!
Do not let your heart tell you someone looks at you that way,
Or someone feels for you in this way
Because they've never felt that way with you
They are just being friendly as they can see how lonely you are
And when you feel that the heart may be right,
Ask yourself:
Can you be someone who will do whatever it takes to make them feel right?
Can you say the words without inhibitions, can you show how you feel without fear?
You know you can't, and don't ever be convinced otherwise
Unconvinced, continue part 2
************************************************************************************
Man...I must have been pissed....
I shall put it here. Apologies if this isn't fresh...
************************************************************************************
Part 1: If you (think) fall in love.......
Again
It means that it's been a long time since your mind overwhelmingly exposes the shortcomings that your heart is showing
That your heart seems to have forgotten how it puts you into the most embarrassing and silly situations just to satisfy it's natural instinct
The instinct to be with another human being
To no longer be alone
However, weak as it is and forgetful
Your heart fails to understand that until a time you are willing to be someone they need to convince them that you are sincere
You will only hurt yourself
Not to mention make a total fool of yourself
The heart has an array of tricks to make you think otherwise
To disillusion you into believing this could be it
The right girl, the right feel, the right time
But it is never true!!
NEVER!!
The heart only knows how to react when your biological clock ticks
And tick it will, louder and louder as time passes
Know that no matter how much you feel the need, you are simply incapable of doing it right
Saying what they want to hear, doing what they want to see,
Feeling what they need you to feel, at the precise time
And by the time you realise it, it is always too late
Or NEVER!!
Do not let your heart tell you someone looks at you that way,
Or someone feels for you in this way
Because they've never felt that way with you
They are just being friendly as they can see how lonely you are
And when you feel that the heart may be right,
Ask yourself:
Can you be someone who will do whatever it takes to make them feel right?
Can you say the words without inhibitions, can you show how you feel without fear?
You know you can't, and don't ever be convinced otherwise
Unconvinced, continue part 2
************************************************************************************
Man...I must have been pissed....
Monday, June 06, 2005
So Long....Goodbye
No, it's not my last post, nor am I leaving for, another plane......
The above was the name of a Raw Deal Card (Caution! Whole post revolves mainly on a Raw Deal Tournament that happened yesterday) that practically made my day yesterday. Yesterday, after a long, long while, I played in a sanctioned Raw Deal Tournament that I could win a prize. It was for the U.S. Title Belt. Let the storytelling begin.......
Saturday, 4th June 2005 @ 6.00pm
Andy: Hey Ben, did you know there's a tournament tomorrow at Bangsar?
Me: Really?? No, i had no idea.
Andy: Call Joe. He's got the details.
Me: Any card restrictions? (Oi, already asnwered above la!)
later, during a dinner that a I didn't eat....
Andy: So did you call Joe and find out what can/cannot be played?
Me: No, I had his mobile number 3 times, and lost my phone that many times too.
(Dinner crowd shrugs in dissapointment)
Me: Anyone has his number? (To my surprise, all of a sudden there was a impromptu race to provide me the number.....And Triona won!)
(Tried to call Joe with no success)
After dinner, back at Wolf's Games Shop (where all wrestlers, table top gamers and RPGers call their 2nd home).
Andy: So did you call Joe?
Me: No luck. Can't get him.
Andy: Joe called me. It's a no PROMO tournament (PROMO capitalised for a unique reason).
yada yada yada yada.......
After a Movie and some more gaming, and just into 4th June 2005, i.e. 1.00am....Andy, Ahmad, Geoffrey ( I think that's his name) decided Enough With the Trash Talk (and gaming), it's time to feed. Off we went to our usual hangout place at Section 14, PJ. While on the way there, I had this conversation:
Me: Who do you think I should play tomorrow?
Ahmad: You should play 2MPT heat. Consistent deck.
Me: Why? (Again, why you like to ask questions that's already asnwered?) I think I want to play Gail Kim & Molly Holly. It's nice to be able to hit a 0-F manuever for 12 damage!...Andy's here. Don't tell him what I want to play tomorrow!
Ahmad: Ok!
By the end of the feeding session, I left the place bent on going home to build my "Hardcore Molly" deck, but was telling everyone I will play Big Poppa Pump. Yet for some reason, by the time I am home I chose to build a Big Poppa Pump Deck!
5th June 2005, @ 9.30am
Woke up early due to my familiarity to wake up to work. Curses. Thought that I will arrive early at Bangsar and use a proxy deck to play. Since Big Poppa Pump was Raw, I decided it's time to build a SmackDown Eugene deck. After making some changes to my current Raw Eugene, voila! Eugene is now SmackDown specialing in Torrie's DDT, Rock Bottom & thePeople's Elbow and a host of SuperStar Specific Moves that Eugene can mimick. Out of curiosity, I played Big Poppa Pump against Eugene only to see Big Poppa Pump get a Beating it will forget asap! All of a sudden, I have now decided to play Eugene instead! (Note: It is extremely enjoyable to play Eugene as you can hit to most ridiculous moves at your opponents!) Reached Bangsar at 12.20pm and, well, the rest is history......below:
Pre-Tournament:
I played a game with Joe with my Big Poppa Pump and lost marginally to his All Axxess JBL. Then came the time to write my name on the entry list.
Mae: Ben, are you chinese educated?
Me: No, why?
Mae: You write with a stlye similar to chinese caligraphy.
Me: No, their style is similar to me.
Mae: Unless you're thousands of years old....
Me: I am! Can't you tell? I am Immortal!!
Mae: No I can't tell...
Joe: I can. I can smell it!
While that conversation didn't turn out as close as the reality, I would note that for some unknown reason, the way I grip a pen (scratch that thought!) has always had many chinese questioning why I hold it that way...Whatever...
Fast Forward to Round One:
Opponent - Shane O'Mac played by Shaz
Got lucky as he decided not to Mean Streets of Greenwich me and I had the opportunity to play my preferred Prematches. The game was rather one sided, I threw several unique manuevers at him without return, and he was limited to 2 fortitude until the end. Sorry Shaz, Eugene had to Torrie's DDT you.
Round Two:
Opponent - APA by Fiezan
My first Heat opponent. Yet again I got lucky I had enough reversals in my hand and hit him with a first tun That One Thing, choosing submission. He was stuck at 4 fortitude and Torrie's DDT setup another win for Eugene.
Round Three:
Opponent - GOLDBerg by Johan(Joe)
This has got to be the easiet of all matchups. GOLDBerg's lack of 0-fort reversals, coupled by his inability to reverse unique manuevers with his ability, should mean a walkover for me. Yet, yet in this game I made 2 blunders. Firstly, I forgot to play It's Showtime to move first. That gave him an opportunity to push through a manuever (My hand was atrocious) and eventually we were both having 10+ fort. Then, as I wasn't drawing much manuevers, I decided to play Teaser Mode and search for........So Long....Goodbye. Yes it's a Raw Deal Card.
Joe: What did you search for?
Me: So Long, Goodbye.....(showing him the card)
Joe: Hey! That's a PROMO from Ruthless Agression
Me: (looked at the card and saw V 7.0 whatever that meant)
Joe: I know my PROMOs! What irony! So Long! GoodBye! (And laughs no different from a Hyena)
For the next 10+ minutes, I was in shame. Raw Deal Manager playing with an illegal deck. I should have been DQed. Thank goodness Mae, the person running that tourney, wasn't much of a rules person (heck, she probably doesn't even know how to play the game), decided to not decide and let my previous opponents decide on my fate. Due to some suprising turn of events, I was to rematch with Fiezan (Shaz let me off, good man) and lost to him (not so lucky this time). I was now from what should have been 3-0 to 1-2. It's Over for me.
Joe: Hey. Still got another round to go. Andy may still do a Go Behind!
And so there was another round. I was still distraught at this point due to the So Long, Goodbye thingy....Such a poor mistake.
Round Four
Opponent - Babe of the Year by Andy
For what would have been a difficuly match turned out ok as Eugene prevailed. But to think of it, 2 wins just ain't enough. Right? (ok, I have to admit, if I didn't cut it I wouldn't be bothered to write so much of this crap, no?)
Top four single elimination saw me do an "Andy", Go Behind. Andy was once playing with an illegal deck, made our semis matchup the matchup of the Liars, Cheaters & Thieves. However, despite his attempt to play differently, Eugene manage to hit him with more unique manuevers, including Babe Buster!
The other semis was Azmin's Torrie (Eugene's mentor) and Joe's GOLDBerg. Much the same as the swiss rounds, Azmin could not notch that much needed win over Joe to meet me for the final. So it was GOLDBerg VS Eugene in the final.
Joe: Come over and trash me, you cheater!
Me: (Still embarressed over the boo boo).......
No mistakes this time, I showtimed and hit Joe with Double Chop. For some unknown reason, Joe chose to not reverse it and, the rest, I guess, is History (not Anachronism!) Unique move after Unique move, I finished Joe off with RKO!
And so I've won. Yet another US Title Belt. Whatever......
Post Match.
Decided I should try out Azmin's Torrie just to 'prove' nothing, I got hit with DDTs until Eugene pinned out. It would have been a good feel, though!
So Long.....Goodbye......
The above was the name of a Raw Deal Card (Caution! Whole post revolves mainly on a Raw Deal Tournament that happened yesterday) that practically made my day yesterday. Yesterday, after a long, long while, I played in a sanctioned Raw Deal Tournament that I could win a prize. It was for the U.S. Title Belt. Let the storytelling begin.......
Saturday, 4th June 2005 @ 6.00pm
Andy: Hey Ben, did you know there's a tournament tomorrow at Bangsar?
Me: Really?? No, i had no idea.
Andy: Call Joe. He's got the details.
Me: Any card restrictions? (Oi, already asnwered above la!)
later, during a dinner that a I didn't eat....
Andy: So did you call Joe and find out what can/cannot be played?
Me: No, I had his mobile number 3 times, and lost my phone that many times too.
(Dinner crowd shrugs in dissapointment)
Me: Anyone has his number? (To my surprise, all of a sudden there was a impromptu race to provide me the number.....And Triona won!)
(Tried to call Joe with no success)
After dinner, back at Wolf's Games Shop (where all wrestlers, table top gamers and RPGers call their 2nd home).
Andy: So did you call Joe?
Me: No luck. Can't get him.
Andy: Joe called me. It's a no PROMO tournament (PROMO capitalised for a unique reason).
yada yada yada yada.......
After a Movie and some more gaming, and just into 4th June 2005, i.e. 1.00am....Andy, Ahmad, Geoffrey ( I think that's his name) decided Enough With the Trash Talk (and gaming), it's time to feed. Off we went to our usual hangout place at Section 14, PJ. While on the way there, I had this conversation:
Me: Who do you think I should play tomorrow?
Ahmad: You should play 2MPT heat. Consistent deck.
Me: Why? (Again, why you like to ask questions that's already asnwered?) I think I want to play Gail Kim & Molly Holly. It's nice to be able to hit a 0-F manuever for 12 damage!...Andy's here. Don't tell him what I want to play tomorrow!
Ahmad: Ok!
By the end of the feeding session, I left the place bent on going home to build my "Hardcore Molly" deck, but was telling everyone I will play Big Poppa Pump. Yet for some reason, by the time I am home I chose to build a Big Poppa Pump Deck!
5th June 2005, @ 9.30am
Woke up early due to my familiarity to wake up to work. Curses. Thought that I will arrive early at Bangsar and use a proxy deck to play. Since Big Poppa Pump was Raw, I decided it's time to build a SmackDown Eugene deck. After making some changes to my current Raw Eugene, voila! Eugene is now SmackDown specialing in Torrie's DDT, Rock Bottom & thePeople's Elbow and a host of SuperStar Specific Moves that Eugene can mimick. Out of curiosity, I played Big Poppa Pump against Eugene only to see Big Poppa Pump get a Beating it will forget asap! All of a sudden, I have now decided to play Eugene instead! (Note: It is extremely enjoyable to play Eugene as you can hit to most ridiculous moves at your opponents!) Reached Bangsar at 12.20pm and, well, the rest is history......below:
Pre-Tournament:
I played a game with Joe with my Big Poppa Pump and lost marginally to his All Axxess JBL. Then came the time to write my name on the entry list.
Mae: Ben, are you chinese educated?
Me: No, why?
Mae: You write with a stlye similar to chinese caligraphy.
Me: No, their style is similar to me.
Mae: Unless you're thousands of years old....
Me: I am! Can't you tell? I am Immortal!!
Mae: No I can't tell...
Joe: I can. I can smell it!
While that conversation didn't turn out as close as the reality, I would note that for some unknown reason, the way I grip a pen (scratch that thought!) has always had many chinese questioning why I hold it that way...Whatever...
Fast Forward to Round One:
Opponent - Shane O'Mac played by Shaz
Got lucky as he decided not to Mean Streets of Greenwich me and I had the opportunity to play my preferred Prematches. The game was rather one sided, I threw several unique manuevers at him without return, and he was limited to 2 fortitude until the end. Sorry Shaz, Eugene had to Torrie's DDT you.
Round Two:
Opponent - APA by Fiezan
My first Heat opponent. Yet again I got lucky I had enough reversals in my hand and hit him with a first tun That One Thing, choosing submission. He was stuck at 4 fortitude and Torrie's DDT setup another win for Eugene.
Round Three:
Opponent - GOLDBerg by Johan(Joe)
This has got to be the easiet of all matchups. GOLDBerg's lack of 0-fort reversals, coupled by his inability to reverse unique manuevers with his ability, should mean a walkover for me. Yet, yet in this game I made 2 blunders. Firstly, I forgot to play It's Showtime to move first. That gave him an opportunity to push through a manuever (My hand was atrocious) and eventually we were both having 10+ fort. Then, as I wasn't drawing much manuevers, I decided to play Teaser Mode and search for........So Long....Goodbye. Yes it's a Raw Deal Card.
Joe: What did you search for?
Me: So Long, Goodbye.....(showing him the card)
Joe: Hey! That's a PROMO from Ruthless Agression
Me: (looked at the card and saw V 7.0 whatever that meant)
Joe: I know my PROMOs! What irony! So Long! GoodBye! (And laughs no different from a Hyena)
For the next 10+ minutes, I was in shame. Raw Deal Manager playing with an illegal deck. I should have been DQed. Thank goodness Mae, the person running that tourney, wasn't much of a rules person (heck, she probably doesn't even know how to play the game), decided to not decide and let my previous opponents decide on my fate. Due to some suprising turn of events, I was to rematch with Fiezan (Shaz let me off, good man) and lost to him (not so lucky this time). I was now from what should have been 3-0 to 1-2. It's Over for me.
Joe: Hey. Still got another round to go. Andy may still do a Go Behind!
And so there was another round. I was still distraught at this point due to the So Long, Goodbye thingy....Such a poor mistake.
Round Four
Opponent - Babe of the Year by Andy
For what would have been a difficuly match turned out ok as Eugene prevailed. But to think of it, 2 wins just ain't enough. Right? (ok, I have to admit, if I didn't cut it I wouldn't be bothered to write so much of this crap, no?)
Top four single elimination saw me do an "Andy", Go Behind. Andy was once playing with an illegal deck, made our semis matchup the matchup of the Liars, Cheaters & Thieves. However, despite his attempt to play differently, Eugene manage to hit him with more unique manuevers, including Babe Buster!
The other semis was Azmin's Torrie (Eugene's mentor) and Joe's GOLDBerg. Much the same as the swiss rounds, Azmin could not notch that much needed win over Joe to meet me for the final. So it was GOLDBerg VS Eugene in the final.
Joe: Come over and trash me, you cheater!
Me: (Still embarressed over the boo boo).......
No mistakes this time, I showtimed and hit Joe with Double Chop. For some unknown reason, Joe chose to not reverse it and, the rest, I guess, is History (not Anachronism!) Unique move after Unique move, I finished Joe off with RKO!
And so I've won. Yet another US Title Belt. Whatever......
Post Match.
Decided I should try out Azmin's Torrie just to 'prove' nothing, I got hit with DDTs until Eugene pinned out. It would have been a good feel, though!
So Long.....Goodbye......
Friday, June 03, 2005
Where were you??
Did you know that the Blog was down for 2 days, at least? I was bored silly. Well, actually, I was more interested to find out more of the few people's Blog that I read. I know them generally, but with the Blog I get to know them better.
Consider the fact that I am hopeless in conversations. It's not just the ladies, but even with men, I have problems sustaining a conversation.In general it's my fault. I have this way of thought that is somewhat peculiar to others, and my defiance denies me the opportunity to communicate more like others. I may try, but ultimately I fall back to they way I am, how I think, how I perceive.....I have a knack of finding humour it the wrongest (yes, that word doesn't exist) of places. At funerals, at weddings, someone's mishap, my own mishap, etc....
In any case, I have grown further and further apart from the way others communicate. Those who know me get use to it, and can even joke about it, but for those who don't, and there are truly many, they tend to either, a) missunderstand me, or b) think I'm a pycho and still missunderstand me. But that's ok. Being different is the few things that I treasure in my life, so screw the rest who can't understand me. It's your lost, not mine! (An exceptionally optimistic look, but one gets to do one of these every now and then, no?)
Back to the blog going down. Obviously if you read this it's back up, and the recent updates from certain individuals have somewhat startled me. I hope I didn't play a part in any of their misgivings. The good parts, yes, I wouldn't mind having a part. But the, um, not so good ones? ( It wasn't My Fault....You'll be hypnotised... It wasn't My Fault....You'll be hypnotised...It wasn't My Fault....You'll be hypnotised...It wasn't My Fault....You'll be hypnotised...It wasn't My Fault....You'll be hypnotised...)
No one's gonna fall for that, but it's a try.
I want to watch Madagascar.....If only I'd find out when.......................................................
Consider the fact that I am hopeless in conversations. It's not just the ladies, but even with men, I have problems sustaining a conversation.In general it's my fault. I have this way of thought that is somewhat peculiar to others, and my defiance denies me the opportunity to communicate more like others. I may try, but ultimately I fall back to they way I am, how I think, how I perceive.....I have a knack of finding humour it the wrongest (yes, that word doesn't exist) of places. At funerals, at weddings, someone's mishap, my own mishap, etc....
In any case, I have grown further and further apart from the way others communicate. Those who know me get use to it, and can even joke about it, but for those who don't, and there are truly many, they tend to either, a) missunderstand me, or b) think I'm a pycho and still missunderstand me. But that's ok. Being different is the few things that I treasure in my life, so screw the rest who can't understand me. It's your lost, not mine! (An exceptionally optimistic look, but one gets to do one of these every now and then, no?)
Back to the blog going down. Obviously if you read this it's back up, and the recent updates from certain individuals have somewhat startled me. I hope I didn't play a part in any of their misgivings. The good parts, yes, I wouldn't mind having a part. But the, um, not so good ones? ( It wasn't My Fault....You'll be hypnotised... It wasn't My Fault....You'll be hypnotised...It wasn't My Fault....You'll be hypnotised...It wasn't My Fault....You'll be hypnotised...It wasn't My Fault....You'll be hypnotised...)
No one's gonna fall for that, but it's a try.
I want to watch Madagascar.....If only I'd find out when.......................................................
Friday, May 27, 2005
How could I have gone to sleep???
I have a confession to make.
You know what you here from the sports anchormen, newscasters, pundits et all, " for those that slept after half time...."
Yup, I was one of those......Oh, why did I sleep after halftime? (Note: If you know nothing about football, skip reading)
Yesterday (25th May 2005), the most incredible thing happened in football sports. Liverpool, in a Champion's League Final (which is the premier competiton for Europe), up against 7 times Champions A.C. Milan from Italy, went 3-0 down in first half. Myself, being a loyal (will discuss this part later) Liverpool supporter, was devastated. This was made much worse considering the following factors:
1) Team selection - Rafael Benitez (Liverpool Manager) chose to pick Harry Kewell, once Australian wunderkid left winger/striker, to be one of the starting eleven despite him having played less than a couple of games before this. He eventually got injured (again) and had to go off after 20+ minutes.
2) Team selection - Djimi Traore was also selected for 1st eleven at leftback. While he has been playing regularly, it's probably his first, super important match and this guy has a tendency to overexpose his position and leave it unattended. Kudos for John Arne Riise for keeping the left side defendable.
3) The first goal by Milan was scored within the 1st minute!!
4) The other goals were scored when Djimi Traore was happily attacking in the opponent's half, leaving the defence to cope in 3 on 3 situations.
5) And, worse of them all, I applied Leave just to watch the match!!!
So you could understand me for giving up and going to bed at half time, right? I mean, an already distraught me couldn't take watching those 3 goals shown over and over again as the commentators review the 1st half that flew by. Surely I shouldn't torture myself with another horrific performance by Liverpool in the 2nd half and watch them ship in another 3 goals, no? You see my point, yes? (please say yes....please.....)
The truth is, I guess, I wasn't very loyal after all. I couldn't bear to see them lose. I didn't stick by them through thick and thin. And as I slumber, Liverpool staged the most exciting comeback by scoring 3 goals in 6 minutes, and then holding on for another 60 minutes before winning the match on penalties. All this happened while I was asleep. Steven Gerrard scored a superb header for the 1st goal, followed by a fluke 20 metre strike by Vladimer Smicer which Dida (Milan's goalkeeper) could have palm away and finally, Gerrard was brought down in the penalty area and gave Liverpool a penalty and chance to equalise. Xabi Alonso stepped up, and while his initial kick was stopped by Dida, his follow through crashed to the roof of the net and all the world wondered, "Could Liverpool pull it off?"
And I lay asleep. Liverpool scored 3 goals and I was sound asleep. They won the penalties and I was sound asleep. They lifted the cup, in front of 80 thousand spectators (of which, over 40 thousand were fans) and I was........asleep. I gave up while the world watched. I did, however, manage to secure the news by 8.00am when I saw an SMS from a friend to tell me we won. I also made sure I caught the repeat, just to see the goals, the penalty saves and, the celebration afterward (how else could I manage to write so much here?).
I have to say, I am still pleased we won. Even if we can't defend it next year (This whole thing about only up to top 4 in each country may compete each year, irregardless of who the champion is, is ridiculous). We did what Arsenal, Chelsea and another 17 other premiership teams couldn't do for 20 years. (Eat that Everton. See how you survive Champion's League next season). We won this cup 5 times, when Manchester United could only do it twice in 50 years. Maybe in the future, Chelsea or even Arsenal can win it, but 5 times???(insert Booker T taunt here).
I need to stop giving up so easily......
You know what you here from the sports anchormen, newscasters, pundits et all, " for those that slept after half time...."
Yup, I was one of those......Oh, why did I sleep after halftime? (Note: If you know nothing about football, skip reading)
Yesterday (25th May 2005), the most incredible thing happened in football sports. Liverpool, in a Champion's League Final (which is the premier competiton for Europe), up against 7 times Champions A.C. Milan from Italy, went 3-0 down in first half. Myself, being a loyal (will discuss this part later) Liverpool supporter, was devastated. This was made much worse considering the following factors:
1) Team selection - Rafael Benitez (Liverpool Manager) chose to pick Harry Kewell, once Australian wunderkid left winger/striker, to be one of the starting eleven despite him having played less than a couple of games before this. He eventually got injured (again) and had to go off after 20+ minutes.
2) Team selection - Djimi Traore was also selected for 1st eleven at leftback. While he has been playing regularly, it's probably his first, super important match and this guy has a tendency to overexpose his position and leave it unattended. Kudos for John Arne Riise for keeping the left side defendable.
3) The first goal by Milan was scored within the 1st minute!!
4) The other goals were scored when Djimi Traore was happily attacking in the opponent's half, leaving the defence to cope in 3 on 3 situations.
5) And, worse of them all, I applied Leave just to watch the match!!!
So you could understand me for giving up and going to bed at half time, right? I mean, an already distraught me couldn't take watching those 3 goals shown over and over again as the commentators review the 1st half that flew by. Surely I shouldn't torture myself with another horrific performance by Liverpool in the 2nd half and watch them ship in another 3 goals, no? You see my point, yes? (please say yes....please.....)
The truth is, I guess, I wasn't very loyal after all. I couldn't bear to see them lose. I didn't stick by them through thick and thin. And as I slumber, Liverpool staged the most exciting comeback by scoring 3 goals in 6 minutes, and then holding on for another 60 minutes before winning the match on penalties. All this happened while I was asleep. Steven Gerrard scored a superb header for the 1st goal, followed by a fluke 20 metre strike by Vladimer Smicer which Dida (Milan's goalkeeper) could have palm away and finally, Gerrard was brought down in the penalty area and gave Liverpool a penalty and chance to equalise. Xabi Alonso stepped up, and while his initial kick was stopped by Dida, his follow through crashed to the roof of the net and all the world wondered, "Could Liverpool pull it off?"
And I lay asleep. Liverpool scored 3 goals and I was sound asleep. They won the penalties and I was sound asleep. They lifted the cup, in front of 80 thousand spectators (of which, over 40 thousand were fans) and I was........asleep. I gave up while the world watched. I did, however, manage to secure the news by 8.00am when I saw an SMS from a friend to tell me we won. I also made sure I caught the repeat, just to see the goals, the penalty saves and, the celebration afterward (how else could I manage to write so much here?).
I have to say, I am still pleased we won. Even if we can't defend it next year (This whole thing about only up to top 4 in each country may compete each year, irregardless of who the champion is, is ridiculous). We did what Arsenal, Chelsea and another 17 other premiership teams couldn't do for 20 years. (Eat that Everton. See how you survive Champion's League next season). We won this cup 5 times, when Manchester United could only do it twice in 50 years. Maybe in the future, Chelsea or even Arsenal can win it, but 5 times???(insert Booker T taunt here).
I need to stop giving up so easily......
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)