Barely an hour before I was at Dewan Philharmonik Petronas attending it's Gala Concert for Season 2005/2006.
It was nice to be there, even nicer to have a friend there with me. When you read this, thanks dude..It was rather fun to show you how diferent the Gala concert is compared to the usual fixtures..
The show started with an Overture from one of Rosini's operas, followed by 4 songs by Strauss. Sung by a soprano in German, I found myself awed by the vocal strength, but lost musically. I guess contemporary songs has gotten me accustomed to the structure, and th song that I heard had so different a structure that I got lost trying to find the melody.
Then it was the expected intermission, where we were served some light refreshments before the final part which was an orchestral arrangement of one of Brahms' Piano Quartet. No piano here, but the pieces were arranged very close to Brahms' style, at least on my point of view.
As usual, at the end of the concert the Malaysian crowd clapped for an encore, of which the orchestra obliged with Brahms' Hungarian Dance no.1. it was nice to finish off with a piece that I remember! Then the concert ended and we leave the concert hall to be greeted by supper!
A plate full of pasta, lasagna, some spring rolls, Murtabak and chicken later, the Gala experience ws over and I strongly believe it was money well spent. If you love classical music, want to see many ladies in fine evening gowns and prefer a peaceful weekend outing comapred to the loud boom ounds and choking air of a night club, I recommend you see the Gala concert too. but you'd have to wait till next year, though!
Saturday, August 27, 2005
Friday, August 26, 2005
What is point blank range???
Would you believe it that point blank range is anything 5 meters or less?
Last Friday, I went to a shooting range as part of a compnay activity. We were given a pistol, Baretta something, which has a magazine capacity of 15 rounds. But, we were only given 10 rounds to begin with.
At first, practice shots (5 rounds) were at 5 meters, of which my shots were all within the target area (8 point or higher). Then the next 5 rounds were at 10m. BOy, did I sucked then..
Then came the competition round. I had 10 rounds at 10m, and guess what? I only hit the target 8 times for a total points of 24! (Insert extremely embarressed me here....)
Oh, less I forget, my sister, who incidentally works in the same company as I do, shot a 91! (Max score 100) Thank god some other guy got 94, or else I'd be haunted by this utter humiliation. She was second best, so that's not bad at all!
Hmm, so my point blank range is 5m. Anything further than that, I'll miss. So no worries if I have a gun, people. I can't hit shite!
Last Friday, I went to a shooting range as part of a compnay activity. We were given a pistol, Baretta something, which has a magazine capacity of 15 rounds. But, we were only given 10 rounds to begin with.
At first, practice shots (5 rounds) were at 5 meters, of which my shots were all within the target area (8 point or higher). Then the next 5 rounds were at 10m. BOy, did I sucked then..
Then came the competition round. I had 10 rounds at 10m, and guess what? I only hit the target 8 times for a total points of 24! (Insert extremely embarressed me here....)
Oh, less I forget, my sister, who incidentally works in the same company as I do, shot a 91! (Max score 100) Thank god some other guy got 94, or else I'd be haunted by this utter humiliation. She was second best, so that's not bad at all!
Hmm, so my point blank range is 5m. Anything further than that, I'll miss. So no worries if I have a gun, people. I can't hit shite!
Thursday, August 25, 2005
Summer Cleaning
People clean their house ususally nearing their main yearly holidays, Chinese before CNY, Malays before Hari Raya Aidifitri, Indians before Deepavali, Christians before Xmas, etc... My family never cleans for any festivities..ever...We'd try, every now and then, but the house still looks like a mess. Which explains my I don't invites friends over during festivities. Visitng a dumpsite just isn't a place you'd like to go....especially during festivities..
For some unknown reason, it was decided that there were too much junk at home (like, duh!) and that it's time to make space. Better reason would be that my mother stresses out when the house is in a mess, and for a person with a heart condition, stress is not something we'd like her to have...Oh, btw, my parents are moving in...Explains the need to clean up.
This is not to say that my house (which currently houses all my siblings bar 1) was ever really clean when our parents were with us. It's just that back then, she could handle stress. Now stress = hospital visits... So for the past 2 weeks my siblings and I have been cleaning up the house every night (close) after work, and weekends as well (sometimes). Now the house looks even messier with many things that need to go still residing at home.
Our target date is at the end of month, which is also when our parents return. We even had an 'project planner' created on Excel just to ensure each of us complete our task on time. Actually, it was more to remind us to complete it on time...We are a procrastinating bunch, you see....
So that's the story on Summer Cleaning. It isn't over, and hopefully it'll make the house hospitable enough for guest...
Oh, funny line I said to my siblings the other day, : Imagine all this hard work, and at the end of day, our house still look like a mess?"
For some unknown reason, it was decided that there were too much junk at home (like, duh!) and that it's time to make space. Better reason would be that my mother stresses out when the house is in a mess, and for a person with a heart condition, stress is not something we'd like her to have...Oh, btw, my parents are moving in...Explains the need to clean up.
This is not to say that my house (which currently houses all my siblings bar 1) was ever really clean when our parents were with us. It's just that back then, she could handle stress. Now stress = hospital visits... So for the past 2 weeks my siblings and I have been cleaning up the house every night (close) after work, and weekends as well (sometimes). Now the house looks even messier with many things that need to go still residing at home.
Our target date is at the end of month, which is also when our parents return. We even had an 'project planner' created on Excel just to ensure each of us complete our task on time. Actually, it was more to remind us to complete it on time...We are a procrastinating bunch, you see....
So that's the story on Summer Cleaning. It isn't over, and hopefully it'll make the house hospitable enough for guest...
Oh, funny line I said to my siblings the other day, : Imagine all this hard work, and at the end of day, our house still look like a mess?"
Enough of this Trash Talk
Dear Readers,
due to unforseen circumstances, I will now refrain from posting anything that touched on my recent attempt to find a significant other. It's all trash talk anyway....
On the other hand, I hope to write more on other topics not related to me, i.e. Wrestling, Football(Soccer), World Issues (yeah right..), etc...
Will try to post more. Thanks for reading..
FYI. I'm still unwell...But That, I have always been....
" Every cloud has it's silver lining"..
due to unforseen circumstances, I will now refrain from posting anything that touched on my recent attempt to find a significant other. It's all trash talk anyway....
On the other hand, I hope to write more on other topics not related to me, i.e. Wrestling, Football(Soccer), World Issues (yeah right..), etc...
Will try to post more. Thanks for reading..
FYI. I'm still unwell...But That, I have always been....
" Every cloud has it's silver lining"..
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
12 hours into 27.....
And I must say birthdays sucks.....
I really wanted to wait until the end of the day to post, so that I could put all the bad things that happened, and then some good things, so that hopefully I'd "see the line in the sand", find "the silver lining", spot "the blessing in disguise".....
But after the number of setbacks till 1.00pm....I can't hold on....Must blog...
Setback One:
Woke up late again. It doesn't help I'm not sleeping early enough, but having to see my Mom after work for the past few days haven't helped.
Setback Two:
My routine to work involves me walking downhill for approx. 15 minutes to the most accessible bus stop. Today, it chose to rain.
Setback Three:
Already I was late, there was also an accident on the Sungai Besi Highway. Suffice to say, the bus journey was uneventful and extended.
Setback four:
In my company we have this broadcast that happens daily from 8.30am to 9.00am. 3 persons got birthday dedications, with one of them belated. I'm still wondering where's mine.
Setback five:
I screwed up my boss' appointments to say. She isn't happy. Need I say more??
Setback Six:
I found out that certain movements in my company may result in me having to move departments. Initially this was a good thing, as it gave me an option to help keep a certain someone in the company. Yet during lunch today, I came to know that this was the plan after all:
My Boss moves departments. I'm unchange because I report to both her current department and her new one. New boss moves to my current department. If I move to my new boss' department, and if they successfully create another position similar to mine, then I will move and allow the new boss to bring his previous assistant, who, by the way, is currently forced to take up other responsibilities because her position was eliminated, to my current department. My boss will be happy, the new boss will be happy, the assistant will be happy (but I, will have yet another ego bashing. To the core!
My worst fears is the fact that the assistant, may be nicer to me recently to ensure all this manuevering is successful! Bah! I feel so used! But this isn't the worse setback.....
Ultimate Setback for this 1/2 day, Setback Seven!:
An old friend from University found my recently created Friendster account and sent me a holler. After my reply, she gave me a heads up on several people that I know, including about a person, whom I consider is my idol, my superior, my complement, the "one" that got away.......She's married. (insert visual of heart dropping 19 floors to the ground, splattering all over). Do not misunderstand, she is the one that got away, and I have accepted there is no realistic way to ever find that opportunity again. However, to know this, on my 27th Birthday, after just receiving a relatively destructive setback...........arrrgh!!!!!!
If I wasn't working I would be crying. Really. sob. Hard.
I've endured having a National Blackout on my birthday, and many years of complete non-existence but today, is a day that will be on my mind for the rest of my life. It epitomise how my life is one of the simple, normal person. Shit happens when you hope for a bright new day. Dream all you want, since reality only knows the opposite.
Nothing lasts forever.....Thank god. That's my only consolation when dealing with pain. Now, let's try to make it go away (Sorry, will pass any offers of alcohol and drugs. Will not substitute one pain with another).
**** ****
Setback eight:
At 5.20pm, 10 minutes from a quick exit out of my office building, I was required to perform a last minute task that would generally require 40-60 minutes to complete. Worse of all, I can't really know if that last minute task needs to be undertaken until 6pm! You have no idea how unhappy I was. I decided to go ahead and perform the task anyway in 7 minutes and hand the completed result to the person in charge, letting them decide on the final go/no go decision.
Setback nine:
What else can stp me from leaving my office at 5.30p sharp now? How about a false alarm at 5.27pm? The alarm rang all the way until 6pm, and despite several announcements that it was indeed a false alarm, unfortunately the alarms triggered the 'no-function' option on the lifts, making hundreds of people leaving the building via the staircases. I was on 19th floor..........
**** ****
I'd like to thank the 2 souls that help keep me going after lunch. While you didn't really change the chemical makup affected my internals during that period, you id help prevent further deterioration of my chemicals within.
I really wanted to wait until the end of the day to post, so that I could put all the bad things that happened, and then some good things, so that hopefully I'd "see the line in the sand", find "the silver lining", spot "the blessing in disguise".....
But after the number of setbacks till 1.00pm....I can't hold on....Must blog...
Setback One:
Woke up late again. It doesn't help I'm not sleeping early enough, but having to see my Mom after work for the past few days haven't helped.
Setback Two:
My routine to work involves me walking downhill for approx. 15 minutes to the most accessible bus stop. Today, it chose to rain.
Setback Three:
Already I was late, there was also an accident on the Sungai Besi Highway. Suffice to say, the bus journey was uneventful and extended.
Setback four:
In my company we have this broadcast that happens daily from 8.30am to 9.00am. 3 persons got birthday dedications, with one of them belated. I'm still wondering where's mine.
Setback five:
I screwed up my boss' appointments to say. She isn't happy. Need I say more??
Setback Six:
I found out that certain movements in my company may result in me having to move departments. Initially this was a good thing, as it gave me an option to help keep a certain someone in the company. Yet during lunch today, I came to know that this was the plan after all:
My Boss moves departments. I'm unchange because I report to both her current department and her new one. New boss moves to my current department. If I move to my new boss' department, and if they successfully create another position similar to mine, then I will move and allow the new boss to bring his previous assistant, who, by the way, is currently forced to take up other responsibilities because her position was eliminated, to my current department. My boss will be happy, the new boss will be happy, the assistant will be happy (but I, will have yet another ego bashing. To the core!
My worst fears is the fact that the assistant, may be nicer to me recently to ensure all this manuevering is successful! Bah! I feel so used! But this isn't the worse setback.....
Ultimate Setback for this 1/2 day, Setback Seven!:
An old friend from University found my recently created Friendster account and sent me a holler. After my reply, she gave me a heads up on several people that I know, including about a person, whom I consider is my idol, my superior, my complement, the "one" that got away.......She's married. (insert visual of heart dropping 19 floors to the ground, splattering all over). Do not misunderstand, she is the one that got away, and I have accepted there is no realistic way to ever find that opportunity again. However, to know this, on my 27th Birthday, after just receiving a relatively destructive setback...........arrrgh!!!!!!
If I wasn't working I would be crying. Really. sob. Hard.
I've endured having a National Blackout on my birthday, and many years of complete non-existence but today, is a day that will be on my mind for the rest of my life. It epitomise how my life is one of the simple, normal person. Shit happens when you hope for a bright new day. Dream all you want, since reality only knows the opposite.
Nothing lasts forever.....Thank god. That's my only consolation when dealing with pain. Now, let's try to make it go away (Sorry, will pass any offers of alcohol and drugs. Will not substitute one pain with another).
**** ****
Setback eight:
At 5.20pm, 10 minutes from a quick exit out of my office building, I was required to perform a last minute task that would generally require 40-60 minutes to complete. Worse of all, I can't really know if that last minute task needs to be undertaken until 6pm! You have no idea how unhappy I was. I decided to go ahead and perform the task anyway in 7 minutes and hand the completed result to the person in charge, letting them decide on the final go/no go decision.
Setback nine:
What else can stp me from leaving my office at 5.30p sharp now? How about a false alarm at 5.27pm? The alarm rang all the way until 6pm, and despite several announcements that it was indeed a false alarm, unfortunately the alarms triggered the 'no-function' option on the lifts, making hundreds of people leaving the building via the staircases. I was on 19th floor..........
**** ****
I'd like to thank the 2 souls that help keep me going after lunch. While you didn't really change the chemical makup affected my internals during that period, you id help prevent further deterioration of my chemicals within.
Friday, July 29, 2005
And 72 hours was over
2 post in a single day! Hmmm, rarity..
To finish off the post I did about my, assignment at Langkawi, The 3rd Day was the most hectic off all. Morning meeting, lunch activities and Dinner by the beach required me to dso alot of work. I even had to delay lunch just to make sure the activity went on as planned. Not that lunch was very appetising anyway....
Dinner was a blast. It was a commemoration of Management who were leaving, or moving on, and it was done with such aplomb that no one voiced out their concern over the fact that dinner only got served at 10pm! Or, everyone was so polite they refused to interrupt proceedings. Note though, I felt so out of place during dinner I decided I'd vanish once I had enough food. So much for planning to leave before 10pm to watch Monday Night RAW (On Tuesday, 10pm Astro)! Left close to 11pm, but didn't watch TV anyway because I needed to be up the next day by 7am! The rest partied until 2am, I heard.....
Final day had another morning meeting, and I had to start ensuring everyone got to their flights on time. So only had some personal time like, after 2.30pm...Even then, all I did was to get a ride to town to do some meager shopping. Being Malaysian, there wasn't much I'd be interested to buy since I have seen all of it. Did buy a bottle of JD for RM 55! (Could have gotten it even cheaper, darn!)
At the end, I was given the responsibility to ensure the final check out price for the whole thing was correct...and the 32 people spent more than RM50K!
Overall, the hard work was quite fulfilling, not too much fun, but ultimately worth every second of my time. Now, to remember all the 32 person's names!
To finish off the post I did about my, assignment at Langkawi, The 3rd Day was the most hectic off all. Morning meeting, lunch activities and Dinner by the beach required me to dso alot of work. I even had to delay lunch just to make sure the activity went on as planned. Not that lunch was very appetising anyway....
Dinner was a blast. It was a commemoration of Management who were leaving, or moving on, and it was done with such aplomb that no one voiced out their concern over the fact that dinner only got served at 10pm! Or, everyone was so polite they refused to interrupt proceedings. Note though, I felt so out of place during dinner I decided I'd vanish once I had enough food. So much for planning to leave before 10pm to watch Monday Night RAW (On Tuesday, 10pm Astro)! Left close to 11pm, but didn't watch TV anyway because I needed to be up the next day by 7am! The rest partied until 2am, I heard.....
Final day had another morning meeting, and I had to start ensuring everyone got to their flights on time. So only had some personal time like, after 2.30pm...Even then, all I did was to get a ride to town to do some meager shopping. Being Malaysian, there wasn't much I'd be interested to buy since I have seen all of it. Did buy a bottle of JD for RM 55! (Could have gotten it even cheaper, darn!)
At the end, I was given the responsibility to ensure the final check out price for the whole thing was correct...and the 32 people spent more than RM50K!
Overall, the hard work was quite fulfilling, not too much fun, but ultimately worth every second of my time. Now, to remember all the 32 person's names!
Coping with depression
Sad to say, I must admit, I get depressed way to easily. Damn that chemical make-up. I use to deal with it rather extremely, either going ballistic or self destruct, or ignore it completely. It's time to face it head on.....Deal with it.
This time I was asked to not join a group for lunch. Something others would just shrug off, yet here I am, depressed. I know why I am depressed, the question is how do I deal with it? I have joined them many times for lunch, I guess probably not anymore....
I have long analysed that in any group of people, there will be 1 person (at least) who'd always be the fall guy. The guy everyone ignores, insults and bullies. Oh, they're rarely female. What I'd always hope was to not be that guy. Yet as I get on with life, I seem to play that role more and more often. Wherever I go, I seem to find myself trying to be in a group that I don't belong....or I don't know how.....
It doesn't help that I lack tact, and my inter-personal skills leaves a lot to be desired. And just when I thought I may have found a place that I belong, bang! Right in the face I get hit and I get left out again. Yes, I know how it feels. To be left out, all alone, when everyone thinks that you're weird and better left alone. I try to avoid doing the same to others as much as I can, unfortunately I admit, I make others feel the same way too. You reap what you sow?
So this thing, being outcast, isn't really others fault. There's no point keeping company of anyone that isn't really a company, so to speak. The onus truly lies on me. My inability to adapt results in me failing to connect. My inability to cope results in me trying to distance myself from others. Which basically comes down to the point, will I ever find home? A place to belong? I guess not, unless I change.
The question now is, how should I change? I've always hoped to get insomnia and reprogram how I think. Maybe that way I can start afresh and be less, alien. But that's wishful thinking. So what's more tangible, more reasonable?
I can't think of any now. But I do know it's time to cope with it and stop rebuilding walls to protect myself. If the walls are torn down, leave it down. Let pain walk right through it and learn to stand up again. Stop trying to resist this pain and try to condition myself to be tough enough to fend it off.
What's on my mind:
I have often dreamed, of a far off place
Where a hero's welcome, would be waiting for me
Where the crowds will cheer, when they see my face
And a voice keeps saying, this is where I'm meant to be
I'll be there someday, I can go the distance
I will find my way, if I can be strong
I know ev'ry mile, will be worth my while
When I go the distance, I'll be right where I belong
Down an unknown road, to embrace my fate
Though that road may wander, it will lead me to you
And a thousand years, would be worth the wait
It might take a lifetime, but somehow I'll see it through
And I won't look back, I can go the distance
And I'll stay on track, no, I won't accept defeat
It's an uphill slope, but I won't lose hope
Till I go the distance, and my journey is complete
But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part
For a hero's strength is measured by his heart
Like a shooting star, I will go the distance
I will search the world, I will face its' harms
I don't care how far, I can go the distance
Till I find my hero's welcome, waiting in your arms
I will search the world, I will face its harms
Till I find my hero's welcome, waiting in your arms
This time I was asked to not join a group for lunch. Something others would just shrug off, yet here I am, depressed. I know why I am depressed, the question is how do I deal with it? I have joined them many times for lunch, I guess probably not anymore....
I have long analysed that in any group of people, there will be 1 person (at least) who'd always be the fall guy. The guy everyone ignores, insults and bullies. Oh, they're rarely female. What I'd always hope was to not be that guy. Yet as I get on with life, I seem to play that role more and more often. Wherever I go, I seem to find myself trying to be in a group that I don't belong....or I don't know how.....
It doesn't help that I lack tact, and my inter-personal skills leaves a lot to be desired. And just when I thought I may have found a place that I belong, bang! Right in the face I get hit and I get left out again. Yes, I know how it feels. To be left out, all alone, when everyone thinks that you're weird and better left alone. I try to avoid doing the same to others as much as I can, unfortunately I admit, I make others feel the same way too. You reap what you sow?
So this thing, being outcast, isn't really others fault. There's no point keeping company of anyone that isn't really a company, so to speak. The onus truly lies on me. My inability to adapt results in me failing to connect. My inability to cope results in me trying to distance myself from others. Which basically comes down to the point, will I ever find home? A place to belong? I guess not, unless I change.
The question now is, how should I change? I've always hoped to get insomnia and reprogram how I think. Maybe that way I can start afresh and be less, alien. But that's wishful thinking. So what's more tangible, more reasonable?
I can't think of any now. But I do know it's time to cope with it and stop rebuilding walls to protect myself. If the walls are torn down, leave it down. Let pain walk right through it and learn to stand up again. Stop trying to resist this pain and try to condition myself to be tough enough to fend it off.
What's on my mind:
I have often dreamed, of a far off place
Where a hero's welcome, would be waiting for me
Where the crowds will cheer, when they see my face
And a voice keeps saying, this is where I'm meant to be
I'll be there someday, I can go the distance
I will find my way, if I can be strong
I know ev'ry mile, will be worth my while
When I go the distance, I'll be right where I belong
Down an unknown road, to embrace my fate
Though that road may wander, it will lead me to you
And a thousand years, would be worth the wait
It might take a lifetime, but somehow I'll see it through
And I won't look back, I can go the distance
And I'll stay on track, no, I won't accept defeat
It's an uphill slope, but I won't lose hope
Till I go the distance, and my journey is complete
But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part
For a hero's strength is measured by his heart
Like a shooting star, I will go the distance
I will search the world, I will face its' harms
I don't care how far, I can go the distance
Till I find my hero's welcome, waiting in your arms
I will search the world, I will face its harms
Till I find my hero's welcome, waiting in your arms
Monday, July 25, 2005
29 hours already?
And today passed....just like that.
Basically I was like an extra reception counter for my colleagues today. At least I manage to help get 4 persons on a diving excursion, 10 persons on a Mangrove tour (which all return extremely grateful to have gone), 4 on an afternoon tee-off (they must be nuts!) and several to the Spa. I think I'm gonna do that on Wednesday if I am still alive.
Met with the 'head' honcho today, and found him to me more down to earth than I expected. Even the next in command was just as nice. Again, who really knows when it's real? At least they are better at it compared to my immediate superiors.
There's about 30+ of them who make my company's regional management. And this, I observe are the common themes:
95% are married
95% do not smoke
95% are well travelled/loves travelling
80% are in their 40s.
So note to self:
1) You're too young to be that far ahead.
2) You're not Married.
3) You don't travel enough.
Till then, Dream the 10K salary a month......
Basically I was like an extra reception counter for my colleagues today. At least I manage to help get 4 persons on a diving excursion, 10 persons on a Mangrove tour (which all return extremely grateful to have gone), 4 on an afternoon tee-off (they must be nuts!) and several to the Spa. I think I'm gonna do that on Wednesday if I am still alive.
Met with the 'head' honcho today, and found him to me more down to earth than I expected. Even the next in command was just as nice. Again, who really knows when it's real? At least they are better at it compared to my immediate superiors.
There's about 30+ of them who make my company's regional management. And this, I observe are the common themes:
95% are married
95% do not smoke
95% are well travelled/loves travelling
80% are in their 40s.
So note to self:
1) You're too young to be that far ahead.
2) You're not Married.
3) You don't travel enough.
Till then, Dream the 10K salary a month......
Sunday, July 24, 2005
5 hours and counting
Arrived Langkawi at 5.45....Reached hotel at 6.15. Hotel looks cool, but has too much of a forest environment that, well, I am cool too with. That KL lifestyle just suites me best.
My room is rather huge....I can do an eight-man draft (For M:TG Players) or it can sleep 4 with sufficient bed and floor space. The shower passed the test (I am very paticular about hotel bathrooms, fyi) and I am happy with the bathroom. Will probably do the bathtub in 48 hours.
Thank god they had StarSports. Otherwise I'd have to miss next Tuesday's Monday Night RAW....And that ain't cool. Otherwise I don't think I'd be watching a lot of TV in the next few days.
Tomorrows agenda involves me setting up a hospitality booth for the other colleagues to use as information counter. Somehow that, for me, is better than a Mangrove tour....I need help!
5 hours gone....67 more to go.....I hope you have been praiyng for me!
My room is rather huge....I can do an eight-man draft (For M:TG Players) or it can sleep 4 with sufficient bed and floor space. The shower passed the test (I am very paticular about hotel bathrooms, fyi) and I am happy with the bathroom. Will probably do the bathtub in 48 hours.
Thank god they had StarSports. Otherwise I'd have to miss next Tuesday's Monday Night RAW....And that ain't cool. Otherwise I don't think I'd be watching a lot of TV in the next few days.
Tomorrows agenda involves me setting up a hospitality booth for the other colleagues to use as information counter. Somehow that, for me, is better than a Mangrove tour....I need help!
5 hours gone....67 more to go.....I hope you have been praiyng for me!
Saturday, July 23, 2005
Swept Away
Tomorrow I will be flying-off to Langkawi. Not too sure why I am there, but I guess following instructions, even in this day and age, is somewhat appreciated.
My company is holding a regional meet there. During it's inception, right until this Friday, I had known of the plans and played some parts to putting everything together. At least that's what the powers that be think. in my honest opinion, I only followed instructions per my role as an assistant. In my 1 1/2 years in that role, that was part of my job, so being awarded with the opportunity to join this meet was, well, unexpected?
Granted, I had thought of it before. They should send me so that someone can get everything in order while they have fun. I seem to like doing these selfless roles, I don't know why. Some hopeless way to be useful, maybe?
Anyway, now I am tasked with so little knowlede of my role over there, but I am goig there anyway. I don't believe my boss likes it, though when she told me of the news after lunch on Friday, she 'encouraged' me to go. Again, "learn from the est" I tell you. When receiving the news, I was so taken aback I failed to realise the mess was putting mysef into. Note: This Regional meet is meant for, bigger players of my company....To illustrate, if I am a cadet, everyone is at captain rank or higher.
Oh bull, wha I am talking about? I get a 3 day AEP (All Expense Paid) trip to Langkawi without having to take leave and I am complaining? Somebody shoot me....
If you read this, may I have a request? Pray that nothing bad happens this week...
Thanks!
My company is holding a regional meet there. During it's inception, right until this Friday, I had known of the plans and played some parts to putting everything together. At least that's what the powers that be think. in my honest opinion, I only followed instructions per my role as an assistant. In my 1 1/2 years in that role, that was part of my job, so being awarded with the opportunity to join this meet was, well, unexpected?
Granted, I had thought of it before. They should send me so that someone can get everything in order while they have fun. I seem to like doing these selfless roles, I don't know why. Some hopeless way to be useful, maybe?
Anyway, now I am tasked with so little knowlede of my role over there, but I am goig there anyway. I don't believe my boss likes it, though when she told me of the news after lunch on Friday, she 'encouraged' me to go. Again, "learn from the est" I tell you. When receiving the news, I was so taken aback I failed to realise the mess was putting mysef into. Note: This Regional meet is meant for, bigger players of my company....To illustrate, if I am a cadet, everyone is at captain rank or higher.
Oh bull, wha I am talking about? I get a 3 day AEP (All Expense Paid) trip to Langkawi without having to take leave and I am complaining? Somebody shoot me....
If you read this, may I have a request? Pray that nothing bad happens this week...
Thanks!
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
A repeat in History
That didn't happen. While things went down hill almost immediately after July 1st last year, things seems to have change, hopefully for the better this year. And to top it off, I haven't been depressed since May 1st...........hmmmmm.....
I wish I have more to write, but tentatively everything is underway, without anything being completed. Chances are, less than half of my 'journeys' will end positively for me, and while I hate the Sales theory of improved success with improved attempts, it seems that's what I'm heading as of this moment.
My RPGs took a halt, but are planned to be continued this weekend. My career (what career) seems to have halted as well, but then again I will need to want it enough for it to move again (basically I'm still waiting). My love life,......if any, is as before. With the difference that I now chose to spend time with people who I enjoy being with, even if there is no gurantee that I'll always enjoy their company, nor will I always have their company. I'll take whatever that I can get, thank you.
I now have a friend to go MPO (Malaysia Philharmonic Orchestra) with, so I no longer have to go alone. Yes, all things being equal, somethings just aren't meant to be done on one's own. Yet.
I still have some things I am still procrastinating.....Now that I'm at it, let's do a top 10 list (wow, that many??)
10. Own a house.
9. Sing aloud to crowds.
8. Pay off Study Loan.
7. Learn Mandarin
6. Go on diet.
5. Learn to drive & own a car.
4. Exercise!
3. Play the piano like a pro.
2. Find Sig-Other.
1. Start composing again.
The list is out...But will I do it?????????
I wish I have more to write, but tentatively everything is underway, without anything being completed. Chances are, less than half of my 'journeys' will end positively for me, and while I hate the Sales theory of improved success with improved attempts, it seems that's what I'm heading as of this moment.
My RPGs took a halt, but are planned to be continued this weekend. My career (what career) seems to have halted as well, but then again I will need to want it enough for it to move again (basically I'm still waiting). My love life,......if any, is as before. With the difference that I now chose to spend time with people who I enjoy being with, even if there is no gurantee that I'll always enjoy their company, nor will I always have their company. I'll take whatever that I can get, thank you.
I now have a friend to go MPO (Malaysia Philharmonic Orchestra) with, so I no longer have to go alone. Yes, all things being equal, somethings just aren't meant to be done on one's own. Yet.
I still have some things I am still procrastinating.....Now that I'm at it, let's do a top 10 list (wow, that many??)
10. Own a house.
9. Sing aloud to crowds.
8. Pay off Study Loan.
7. Learn Mandarin
6. Go on diet.
5. Learn to drive & own a car.
4. Exercise!
3. Play the piano like a pro.
2. Find Sig-Other.
1. Start composing again.
The list is out...But will I do it?????????
Friday, July 01, 2005
My Classical Top 3
Number 3: Symphonies
Symphonies are basically 4 movement composition that is meant for the whole orchestra. Certain composers have gotten creative (or plain smart alec) and alter it to 3 or 5 movement compositions. In general, the first and the last movement are lively and of moderate pace, while the second or sometimes third is a sombre/slow movement. The remaining piece is usually the shortestof the four, and more often than not dance-like/2-themed.
My personal favourite - Schubert's Symphony No. 4 - Tragic. An awesome piece (barring the slower second movement, that seemed to be longer than I would like), it's 1st and 4th movement seems like music created with mathematics, where all the notes are written as though it's under a standard formula. Yet the whole piece flow together so well.......A piece I can rely on for mental strength.
Number 2: Piano Concertos
My favourite musica instrument is the piano, and I plan to learn how to play one by 30 (yes, poor bloke like me didn't get musical training during my youth...sob sob). I have 2 years left........fingers crossed...
Back to Piano Concertos, it's usually a 3 movement composition for a piano(lead) and the orchestra with a grand/moderately paced 1st movement, which usually carries a theme that will be used (after a little evolution) for the whole piece. The 2nd movement is usually slow, though some composers have added twists to their 2nd movements with a short burst somewhere in the middle. The last movement is usually fast and furious, though some add a little slow tempo every now and then. Rarely do they have 4 movements, bar some creative/smart alecs. Oh, there's usually a cadenza (I hope I got that right) that allows the soloist(piano) to strut some skills. Usually this is the most technical part for the soloist, however some composers have intentionally written this part as well (others let the soloist improvise) to be 'not so difficult'.
Personal Favourite: A tie between Schumann Piano Concerto in A minor and Mozart's Piano Concerto No.20. Schumann's Concerto is great overall with a superbly written final movement (IMO). Unfortunately, I lack the musical affinity to describe it without doing injustice to the movement. Mozart's No.20 is one of the few 'dark/sonbre' concertos that he has written. All 3 movements are excellent, with many critics stating that the piece is ahead of its time.
Numero Uno: Overtures
Overtures usually are 1 movement compositions for the orchestra. Mostly written as introduction to plays or suites, some are also written for festivals or other personal occasions. Notable few (off the top off my head) 1812 Overture(Tchaikovsky), Overture "Father & Son" (Mendelsohn), Egmont Overture (Beethoven), Tragic Overture (Brahms) and Overture to Manfred (Schumann).
Personal Favourite: Overture to Manfred. The Overture was composed for a play where it's lead Manfred, eventually became insane. And the theme for the overture, IMO, does brink on insanity. The whole piece is extremely invigorating with it's climax (twice) comprise of a series of quickly played notes that (due to my poor musical knowledge) seemed impossible to compose.
There you have it...My personal favourites....
Symphonies are basically 4 movement composition that is meant for the whole orchestra. Certain composers have gotten creative (or plain smart alec) and alter it to 3 or 5 movement compositions. In general, the first and the last movement are lively and of moderate pace, while the second or sometimes third is a sombre/slow movement. The remaining piece is usually the shortestof the four, and more often than not dance-like/2-themed.
My personal favourite - Schubert's Symphony No. 4 - Tragic. An awesome piece (barring the slower second movement, that seemed to be longer than I would like), it's 1st and 4th movement seems like music created with mathematics, where all the notes are written as though it's under a standard formula. Yet the whole piece flow together so well.......A piece I can rely on for mental strength.
Number 2: Piano Concertos
My favourite musica instrument is the piano, and I plan to learn how to play one by 30 (yes, poor bloke like me didn't get musical training during my youth...sob sob). I have 2 years left........fingers crossed...
Back to Piano Concertos, it's usually a 3 movement composition for a piano(lead) and the orchestra with a grand/moderately paced 1st movement, which usually carries a theme that will be used (after a little evolution) for the whole piece. The 2nd movement is usually slow, though some composers have added twists to their 2nd movements with a short burst somewhere in the middle. The last movement is usually fast and furious, though some add a little slow tempo every now and then. Rarely do they have 4 movements, bar some creative/smart alecs. Oh, there's usually a cadenza (I hope I got that right) that allows the soloist(piano) to strut some skills. Usually this is the most technical part for the soloist, however some composers have intentionally written this part as well (others let the soloist improvise) to be 'not so difficult'.
Personal Favourite: A tie between Schumann Piano Concerto in A minor and Mozart's Piano Concerto No.20. Schumann's Concerto is great overall with a superbly written final movement (IMO). Unfortunately, I lack the musical affinity to describe it without doing injustice to the movement. Mozart's No.20 is one of the few 'dark/sonbre' concertos that he has written. All 3 movements are excellent, with many critics stating that the piece is ahead of its time.
Numero Uno: Overtures
Overtures usually are 1 movement compositions for the orchestra. Mostly written as introduction to plays or suites, some are also written for festivals or other personal occasions. Notable few (off the top off my head) 1812 Overture(Tchaikovsky), Overture "Father & Son" (Mendelsohn), Egmont Overture (Beethoven), Tragic Overture (Brahms) and Overture to Manfred (Schumann).
Personal Favourite: Overture to Manfred. The Overture was composed for a play where it's lead Manfred, eventually became insane. And the theme for the overture, IMO, does brink on insanity. The whole piece is extremely invigorating with it's climax (twice) comprise of a series of quickly played notes that (due to my poor musical knowledge) seemed impossible to compose.
There you have it...My personal favourites....
Monday, June 27, 2005
Deja Vu??
How do I explain this?
About a year ago, nearing July, I was onto a nervous wreck. At the same time, I was also in the company of a rather attractive female......Ironic? Of course, nothing really happened, but let's start from the beginning.
Several weeks leading to July 1st 2004, I was in a position to hate my job so much that I very well wouldn't want to work anymore (Not that too much of that has changed). Then this colleague of mine at work began to get closer to me that I thought. Needing a diversion from work, I indulged myself in this 'impossibility' as my mind was close to loosing control. I even let her make me express my feelings, something that I usually would only do after a whole lot of thought. Real lot.
It did't help the fact that she is attractive, to many people as well. Yes, you could say I got suckered in the love game. It did do several good things to me....I got my first movie date after what, 18 months? I also could go ahead working without thinking too much about how I hated it. Oh, I should mention that I won my first Raw Deal (Wrestling CCG) Tournament that weekend too. So things couldn't be any better, right?
It lasted exactly 1 week. I followed it with a week of annual leave,which was cut short to 3 days due to 'business need'. After that things went from extremely friendly to complete strangers between me and her (My fault, really!). Not that it was bad, really. My, erm, impulsive behaviour would have been detrimental to my personality, if things happened like anything but now...(Note to self, need to write on my need to be an individual, however ridiculous it is)
Ok, how is this deja vu? Well, first off, I am...........'looking' again (Barry, if you ever see this, like ever, please don't choke and die, ok?). I think I have seen, however.......but things move slower than me...And I am really, really slow. At the same time, I am also enjoying my non-work life more through running tournaments again, and (wow) 2 RPGs sessions for 12 hours in 1 weekend! (more on that later)
I have 4 days to July 1st. Patience is a virtue. Hopefully I have it.
About a year ago, nearing July, I was onto a nervous wreck. At the same time, I was also in the company of a rather attractive female......Ironic? Of course, nothing really happened, but let's start from the beginning.
Several weeks leading to July 1st 2004, I was in a position to hate my job so much that I very well wouldn't want to work anymore (Not that too much of that has changed). Then this colleague of mine at work began to get closer to me that I thought. Needing a diversion from work, I indulged myself in this 'impossibility' as my mind was close to loosing control. I even let her make me express my feelings, something that I usually would only do after a whole lot of thought. Real lot.
It did't help the fact that she is attractive, to many people as well. Yes, you could say I got suckered in the love game. It did do several good things to me....I got my first movie date after what, 18 months? I also could go ahead working without thinking too much about how I hated it. Oh, I should mention that I won my first Raw Deal (Wrestling CCG) Tournament that weekend too. So things couldn't be any better, right?
It lasted exactly 1 week. I followed it with a week of annual leave,which was cut short to 3 days due to 'business need'. After that things went from extremely friendly to complete strangers between me and her (My fault, really!). Not that it was bad, really. My, erm, impulsive behaviour would have been detrimental to my personality, if things happened like anything but now...(Note to self, need to write on my need to be an individual, however ridiculous it is)
Ok, how is this deja vu? Well, first off, I am...........'looking' again (Barry, if you ever see this, like ever, please don't choke and die, ok?). I think I have seen, however.......but things move slower than me...And I am really, really slow. At the same time, I am also enjoying my non-work life more through running tournaments again, and (wow) 2 RPGs sessions for 12 hours in 1 weekend! (more on that later)
I have 4 days to July 1st. Patience is a virtue. Hopefully I have it.
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
What's on my mind now
Artist: Wilson Phillips
Title: Give It Up
You can't hide it from me
Admit it baby
'cause i'm wise to your disguise
I've seen you love me with your eyes
Even if you think i'm a fool and i just can't tell
Then you don't know me well
Won't you come over here and break the ice
It would be so nice
It's what you want when you're around me
You're a little bit shy, and i feel the need
And i can tell that you're happy you found me
Just give it up...
Chorus:
Why wait around when you know what you're feeling (give it up)
I look through your eyes
I can see that you want somebody (give it up)
It could feel so good to get into it.
Give it up! give it up! you want it baby.
Give it up! give it up! you know you got me.
Come on, come on, come on and give it up.
I can't, i can't lie to you
Now we can all tell stories so come over here and love me. uh-huh
Even if you think i'm a fool and i just can't tell
Sorry i know you well.
And i know you will
Come over here and love me
It's what you want when you're around me
You're a little bit shy, and i feel the need
And i can tell that you're happy you found me
Just give it up...
(chorus)
So dream your way into my life
'cause baby i'll give you tonight
I'll bring all your pictures to life
Give it up! give it up! give it up! give it up!
Give it up... (ooh god) give it up... just give it up...give it up
Give it up! give it up (yeah!)
Give it up! give it up!
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, give it up
Give it up! won't you give it up baby tonight?
Fade
*************************************************************************************
I need to get this downloaded.....hmmmm
Title: Give It Up
You can't hide it from me
Admit it baby
'cause i'm wise to your disguise
I've seen you love me with your eyes
Even if you think i'm a fool and i just can't tell
Then you don't know me well
Won't you come over here and break the ice
It would be so nice
It's what you want when you're around me
You're a little bit shy, and i feel the need
And i can tell that you're happy you found me
Just give it up...
Chorus:
Why wait around when you know what you're feeling (give it up)
I look through your eyes
I can see that you want somebody (give it up)
It could feel so good to get into it.
Give it up! give it up! you want it baby.
Give it up! give it up! you know you got me.
Come on, come on, come on and give it up.
I can't, i can't lie to you
Now we can all tell stories so come over here and love me. uh-huh
Even if you think i'm a fool and i just can't tell
Sorry i know you well.
And i know you will
Come over here and love me
It's what you want when you're around me
You're a little bit shy, and i feel the need
And i can tell that you're happy you found me
Just give it up...
(chorus)
So dream your way into my life
'cause baby i'll give you tonight
I'll bring all your pictures to life
Give it up! give it up! give it up! give it up!
Give it up... (ooh god) give it up... just give it up...give it up
Give it up! give it up (yeah!)
Give it up! give it up!
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, give it up
Give it up! won't you give it up baby tonight?
Fade
*************************************************************************************
I need to get this downloaded.....hmmmm
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
I must be in a different dimension!!
Yet again, another 'leader' in the company display lack of......English Comprehension. One wonders what exactly do the management look at to select lower level leaders....Other than the obvious, "Mess with the process, you do not..."
Incompetence seems to be their favourite past time. At my level, it should be forgivable, though not acceptable. However, at their level, do they not see that their incompetence reflects badly on their effectiveness and inteligence?
I'd understand if the person is new. New to being a people leader. New to my department. My company. But we are talking about people who's been here longer than I have. Been a leader for more than 6 months. DOn't they see the relevance in learning more than just how to politic their way through the company?
I think I have boiled over here. I use to emphatise that there could be reasons why they know so little about the job. Now, being there before, I know it's because of 2 reasons:
They couldn't be bothered; or, They can't. For what it's worth, they're still there and I'm here.
Had a discussion with some colleagues the other day and this guy who's relatively new complained that it's the management culture that has resulted to things being this way. And if management doesn't change, neither will the lower level leaders. In other words, we are all doomed.
Maybe it's time to bolt, but I fail to see how other companies may be different from this one. Maybe I am destined to make the change. Or I am meant to be the final fall guy. Until lightning strikes me, I don't feel like being mr. Nice Guy and save the world. If it won't save itself, then it's high time the population on earth goes through a major reduction.
May the strongest live and the less strong, strive.
Incompetence seems to be their favourite past time. At my level, it should be forgivable, though not acceptable. However, at their level, do they not see that their incompetence reflects badly on their effectiveness and inteligence?
I'd understand if the person is new. New to being a people leader. New to my department. My company. But we are talking about people who's been here longer than I have. Been a leader for more than 6 months. DOn't they see the relevance in learning more than just how to politic their way through the company?
I think I have boiled over here. I use to emphatise that there could be reasons why they know so little about the job. Now, being there before, I know it's because of 2 reasons:
They couldn't be bothered; or, They can't. For what it's worth, they're still there and I'm here.
Had a discussion with some colleagues the other day and this guy who's relatively new complained that it's the management culture that has resulted to things being this way. And if management doesn't change, neither will the lower level leaders. In other words, we are all doomed.
Maybe it's time to bolt, but I fail to see how other companies may be different from this one. Maybe I am destined to make the change. Or I am meant to be the final fall guy. Until lightning strikes me, I don't feel like being mr. Nice Guy and save the world. If it won't save itself, then it's high time the population on earth goes through a major reduction.
May the strongest live and the less strong, strive.
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Why do I have to work with such bumbling baffons!!!
For me to write this means I'm truly boiling over. No doubt my sentiments aren't all true, but hell? Why is it people who are leaders can know so little of the business and it's processes and survive in the workplace? Can the powers that be not see their shortcomings?
They make it so hard to get into those positions, yet so little that make the cut portray what the requirements needed them to show.
It seems like leadership is a quality exclusive of all other good qualities, like common sense, ability to learn, hardworking, passionate, quick thinking, creativity and innovation, etc. All leaders know is how to make people think they know better. And they don't. Or they do....We'll, what's perceive as true almost always alters the truth.
These jokers can come ask me for the silliest of assistance, as though they got to where they are by inheritance. So what Dilbert says must be true, you only get promoted to make sure you don't mess with with process. Idiots get promoted. Sure, some great leaders are smart and benevolent, but for every great leader, you'll have 1 million sucky ones that unfortunately the masses can't tell the difference.
When will we live in a society where merit belong to the deserving? How much more will mankind chose to let mediocracy lead it's future??
Pissed is an understatement now.
They make it so hard to get into those positions, yet so little that make the cut portray what the requirements needed them to show.
It seems like leadership is a quality exclusive of all other good qualities, like common sense, ability to learn, hardworking, passionate, quick thinking, creativity and innovation, etc. All leaders know is how to make people think they know better. And they don't. Or they do....We'll, what's perceive as true almost always alters the truth.
These jokers can come ask me for the silliest of assistance, as though they got to where they are by inheritance. So what Dilbert says must be true, you only get promoted to make sure you don't mess with with process. Idiots get promoted. Sure, some great leaders are smart and benevolent, but for every great leader, you'll have 1 million sucky ones that unfortunately the masses can't tell the difference.
When will we live in a society where merit belong to the deserving? How much more will mankind chose to let mediocracy lead it's future??
Pissed is an understatement now.
And so I hated Love........
Lazy to write anything new, so I will post Part 2 of "Why I'm NOt In Love"
*************************************************************************************
If you are not convinced to stop after reading Part One;
Let me remind you how poor your records are
You have:
Fallen for X different girls in your lifetime
X/2 +1 of which knew how you felt
X/2 -1 were oblivious of it
Yet none ever set you free from your loneliness
Those who knew how you felt
Didn't reciprocate
Those who didn't know
Didn't know why you never kept in touch
The moment you get rejected
You plunged into depression
And invoked Suicide Mode
Hating yourself, Finding faults with them
Totally ignoring the reasons why you loved them in the first place
When you finally concede and let things be
Your heart tries to make you change your mind
And out of desperation
You do the silliest and destructive things
By giving them Ultimatums that even you would not agree
To end the pain inside
You burn bridges, severe ties
Only to regret it later in your life
Only when there is no turning back
So stop being a fool for love
Understand that your heart is weak
And beat it at it's own game
Don't let it cloud your judgment
For that is your only saving grace
Still unconvinced?
Check out part 3 for case studies
*************************************************************************************
Well, there isn't any part 3, nor do I hope I end up writing them. I actually ended up trying again last year, to no success ofcourse. By now I have come to realise that no amount of control can stop me from falling for someone. However, my fear of rejection, coupled by my ability to procrastinate, ensures that I will go no further than just that, falling for someone. So without external forces, nothing will change.
Until the time when that someone is more than I can fall for, it is also one that I can die for, live for, fight for and be happy for, these 2 parts will help me keep myself in check. Lightning will strike eventually, when I least expect it...Let it be.......(could not complete the sentence as it contradicts me...)
*************************************************************************************
If you are not convinced to stop after reading Part One;
Let me remind you how poor your records are
You have:
Fallen for X different girls in your lifetime
X/2 +1 of which knew how you felt
X/2 -1 were oblivious of it
Yet none ever set you free from your loneliness
Those who knew how you felt
Didn't reciprocate
Those who didn't know
Didn't know why you never kept in touch
The moment you get rejected
You plunged into depression
And invoked Suicide Mode
Hating yourself, Finding faults with them
Totally ignoring the reasons why you loved them in the first place
When you finally concede and let things be
Your heart tries to make you change your mind
And out of desperation
You do the silliest and destructive things
By giving them Ultimatums that even you would not agree
To end the pain inside
You burn bridges, severe ties
Only to regret it later in your life
Only when there is no turning back
So stop being a fool for love
Understand that your heart is weak
And beat it at it's own game
Don't let it cloud your judgment
For that is your only saving grace
Still unconvinced?
Check out part 3 for case studies
*************************************************************************************
Well, there isn't any part 3, nor do I hope I end up writing them. I actually ended up trying again last year, to no success ofcourse. By now I have come to realise that no amount of control can stop me from falling for someone. However, my fear of rejection, coupled by my ability to procrastinate, ensures that I will go no further than just that, falling for someone. So without external forces, nothing will change.
Until the time when that someone is more than I can fall for, it is also one that I can die for, live for, fight for and be happy for, these 2 parts will help me keep myself in check. Lightning will strike eventually, when I least expect it...Let it be.......(could not complete the sentence as it contradicts me...)
Monday, June 13, 2005
Part 2 will have to wait....
Sorry. Not keen in posting part 2 of a very sorry and sordid me relating about falling in love. Not yet, anyway.
Been.........unproductive lately. Wait, that's like 3 months running, no?
Several highlights of the weekend...
1) FFK( that's Fong Fei Kei in cantonese, or missing appointment) my sister when we were suppose to go to a talk hosted by Pantai Medical on obesity and yet another solution to it. My sister told me that it was a real talk, a medical one, and that the procedure is actually meant for those with morbid obesity. It involves putting a 'valve' around your stomach entrance to reduce it's size and give you a full feeling. If only I had RM 80K......
2) Went to the shop only to be somewhat dissapointed that, well, I missed alot of fun. Why I say somewhat? Because I doubt I would had the capacity to enjoy what they did, knowing the controls in me will hinder my capability to 'follow through'. In other words, better non-existent than party pooper. Besides, everyone had fun, so that's hardly a bad thing. If I need to have fun too, I'd find my own ways.
3) Also somewhat dissapointed was that certain expected interaction with certain individuals at the shop didn't occur, or occurred long enough. I only manage to play several Wrestling matches and that was with the "Bitch" of the Year. Man, I hate that "B". I do. Fortunately there were a group of guys playing M:TG as they prepare themselves for the Regionals. Short note: Regionals is a competition that allows one to be invited to Nationals, an yearly invited competition that has good money to be won. Not to mention the title of being the best the country has to offer that year.
Actually ended up playing M:TG until 1.30am. Was having so much fun with this Blue Control deck against a Mono Red blasting deck. On several occasions when I had absolutely no answer and I still won, the Red Deck didn't seem to draw questions.
My continuous abuse of work time has now lead me to reading & rereading old post on certain individual's blogs. As mentioned before, blogs are a safe way to know people, without having to go through the (possible) horrible time of conversation (If you can't tell my people skills are zero by now, welcome aboard!). Not to mention the option to pretend I know nothing, when in fact I do. I like information, and I have problems sharing it...
Yeah, that's what I wanted to write in the first place. Cheap shots at quotes I don't know by who:
" Knowledge is Power"
" He who knows not, and knows not he knows not, he is a fool, leave him.
He who knows not, and knows he knows not, he is simple, teach him.
He who knows, and knows not he knows, he is asleep, wake him.
He who knows, and knows he knows, he is wise, follow him"
I knew those quotes since I was eight (FYI, I can't seem to remember much of what I did when I was 7, so everything seemed to have happened when I was 8....) and have since always wanted to know more that I needed. That lead me to being somewhat of a busybody, always eager to poke my nose into other poeple's problems, like helping with homework when they can do it themselves, giving solutions to problems that others never asked....etc...Eventually I guess people got tired of my take without giving attitude (on information) that no one bothered to be friends with me. That, coupled with my stringent requirement to be "My" friend, results in me having an extremely limited pool of close contacts. People that would hang out with me. People that would want my company.
Content check...Talk about information, not why you are an island...Focus...
Back to reading the blog for information. It's nice to know about people, what they did, how they felt, who did what, etc... It's like soap opera, real life. Never gonna happen to me, so being a spectator is as good as it gets. Not really the kind of information that constitutes raw power, like who's next on the hitman's list, what stock will rise in a couple of days to make me filthy rich...etc..but it does gives me an edge over others. There's this sense of achievement to see the bigger picture better than others, or it's just me and my (what)ego..
Information has a strange way of being powerful. The whole, I know something you know is already a measure of power. Coupled that with, what I know can manipulate what you know, and not, is even greater power. Factor in that your actions rely on what you know, that's currently factored by what I tell you..........To break that chain, you need to know, not just from 1 source, but from multiple sources. Ensure they correlate and then you will have the edge (no reference to the edge in V:TES, but that's another story.) With it, at the very least you're less likely to be flanked in most situations.
Hope those who know me won't start to block me from reading their blogs now. It's good entertainment too!
P.s. Apologies for the weird writing style. I personally don't know who I am writing to most of the time, myself, or you?
Been.........unproductive lately. Wait, that's like 3 months running, no?
Several highlights of the weekend...
1) FFK( that's Fong Fei Kei in cantonese, or missing appointment) my sister when we were suppose to go to a talk hosted by Pantai Medical on obesity and yet another solution to it. My sister told me that it was a real talk, a medical one, and that the procedure is actually meant for those with morbid obesity. It involves putting a 'valve' around your stomach entrance to reduce it's size and give you a full feeling. If only I had RM 80K......
2) Went to the shop only to be somewhat dissapointed that, well, I missed alot of fun. Why I say somewhat? Because I doubt I would had the capacity to enjoy what they did, knowing the controls in me will hinder my capability to 'follow through'. In other words, better non-existent than party pooper. Besides, everyone had fun, so that's hardly a bad thing. If I need to have fun too, I'd find my own ways.
3) Also somewhat dissapointed was that certain expected interaction with certain individuals at the shop didn't occur, or occurred long enough. I only manage to play several Wrestling matches and that was with the "Bitch" of the Year. Man, I hate that "B". I do. Fortunately there were a group of guys playing M:TG as they prepare themselves for the Regionals. Short note: Regionals is a competition that allows one to be invited to Nationals, an yearly invited competition that has good money to be won. Not to mention the title of being the best the country has to offer that year.
Actually ended up playing M:TG until 1.30am. Was having so much fun with this Blue Control deck against a Mono Red blasting deck. On several occasions when I had absolutely no answer and I still won, the Red Deck didn't seem to draw questions.
My continuous abuse of work time has now lead me to reading & rereading old post on certain individual's blogs. As mentioned before, blogs are a safe way to know people, without having to go through the (possible) horrible time of conversation (If you can't tell my people skills are zero by now, welcome aboard!). Not to mention the option to pretend I know nothing, when in fact I do. I like information, and I have problems sharing it...
Yeah, that's what I wanted to write in the first place. Cheap shots at quotes I don't know by who:
" Knowledge is Power"
" He who knows not, and knows not he knows not, he is a fool, leave him.
He who knows not, and knows he knows not, he is simple, teach him.
He who knows, and knows not he knows, he is asleep, wake him.
He who knows, and knows he knows, he is wise, follow him"
I knew those quotes since I was eight (FYI, I can't seem to remember much of what I did when I was 7, so everything seemed to have happened when I was 8....) and have since always wanted to know more that I needed. That lead me to being somewhat of a busybody, always eager to poke my nose into other poeple's problems, like helping with homework when they can do it themselves, giving solutions to problems that others never asked....etc...Eventually I guess people got tired of my take without giving attitude (on information) that no one bothered to be friends with me. That, coupled with my stringent requirement to be "My" friend, results in me having an extremely limited pool of close contacts. People that would hang out with me. People that would want my company.
Content check...Talk about information, not why you are an island...Focus...
Back to reading the blog for information. It's nice to know about people, what they did, how they felt, who did what, etc... It's like soap opera, real life. Never gonna happen to me, so being a spectator is as good as it gets. Not really the kind of information that constitutes raw power, like who's next on the hitman's list, what stock will rise in a couple of days to make me filthy rich...etc..but it does gives me an edge over others. There's this sense of achievement to see the bigger picture better than others, or it's just me and my (what)ego..
Information has a strange way of being powerful. The whole, I know something you know is already a measure of power. Coupled that with, what I know can manipulate what you know, and not, is even greater power. Factor in that your actions rely on what you know, that's currently factored by what I tell you..........To break that chain, you need to know, not just from 1 source, but from multiple sources. Ensure they correlate and then you will have the edge (no reference to the edge in V:TES, but that's another story.) With it, at the very least you're less likely to be flanked in most situations.
Hope those who know me won't start to block me from reading their blogs now. It's good entertainment too!
P.s. Apologies for the weird writing style. I personally don't know who I am writing to most of the time, myself, or you?
Thursday, June 09, 2005
Not for the faint hearted
I wrote this back in 2003, when I didn't know of "BLOG" and needed a good reminder to myself before I put myself in a 'life-threatening' situation again.
I shall put it here. Apologies if this isn't fresh...
************************************************************************************
Part 1: If you (think) fall in love.......
Again
It means that it's been a long time since your mind overwhelmingly exposes the shortcomings that your heart is showing
That your heart seems to have forgotten how it puts you into the most embarrassing and silly situations just to satisfy it's natural instinct
The instinct to be with another human being
To no longer be alone
However, weak as it is and forgetful
Your heart fails to understand that until a time you are willing to be someone they need to convince them that you are sincere
You will only hurt yourself
Not to mention make a total fool of yourself
The heart has an array of tricks to make you think otherwise
To disillusion you into believing this could be it
The right girl, the right feel, the right time
But it is never true!!
NEVER!!
The heart only knows how to react when your biological clock ticks
And tick it will, louder and louder as time passes
Know that no matter how much you feel the need, you are simply incapable of doing it right
Saying what they want to hear, doing what they want to see,
Feeling what they need you to feel, at the precise time
And by the time you realise it, it is always too late
Or NEVER!!
Do not let your heart tell you someone looks at you that way,
Or someone feels for you in this way
Because they've never felt that way with you
They are just being friendly as they can see how lonely you are
And when you feel that the heart may be right,
Ask yourself:
Can you be someone who will do whatever it takes to make them feel right?
Can you say the words without inhibitions, can you show how you feel without fear?
You know you can't, and don't ever be convinced otherwise
Unconvinced, continue part 2
************************************************************************************
Man...I must have been pissed....
I shall put it here. Apologies if this isn't fresh...
************************************************************************************
Part 1: If you (think) fall in love.......
Again
It means that it's been a long time since your mind overwhelmingly exposes the shortcomings that your heart is showing
That your heart seems to have forgotten how it puts you into the most embarrassing and silly situations just to satisfy it's natural instinct
The instinct to be with another human being
To no longer be alone
However, weak as it is and forgetful
Your heart fails to understand that until a time you are willing to be someone they need to convince them that you are sincere
You will only hurt yourself
Not to mention make a total fool of yourself
The heart has an array of tricks to make you think otherwise
To disillusion you into believing this could be it
The right girl, the right feel, the right time
But it is never true!!
NEVER!!
The heart only knows how to react when your biological clock ticks
And tick it will, louder and louder as time passes
Know that no matter how much you feel the need, you are simply incapable of doing it right
Saying what they want to hear, doing what they want to see,
Feeling what they need you to feel, at the precise time
And by the time you realise it, it is always too late
Or NEVER!!
Do not let your heart tell you someone looks at you that way,
Or someone feels for you in this way
Because they've never felt that way with you
They are just being friendly as they can see how lonely you are
And when you feel that the heart may be right,
Ask yourself:
Can you be someone who will do whatever it takes to make them feel right?
Can you say the words without inhibitions, can you show how you feel without fear?
You know you can't, and don't ever be convinced otherwise
Unconvinced, continue part 2
************************************************************************************
Man...I must have been pissed....
Monday, June 06, 2005
So Long....Goodbye
No, it's not my last post, nor am I leaving for, another plane......
The above was the name of a Raw Deal Card (Caution! Whole post revolves mainly on a Raw Deal Tournament that happened yesterday) that practically made my day yesterday. Yesterday, after a long, long while, I played in a sanctioned Raw Deal Tournament that I could win a prize. It was for the U.S. Title Belt. Let the storytelling begin.......
Saturday, 4th June 2005 @ 6.00pm
Andy: Hey Ben, did you know there's a tournament tomorrow at Bangsar?
Me: Really?? No, i had no idea.
Andy: Call Joe. He's got the details.
Me: Any card restrictions? (Oi, already asnwered above la!)
later, during a dinner that a I didn't eat....
Andy: So did you call Joe and find out what can/cannot be played?
Me: No, I had his mobile number 3 times, and lost my phone that many times too.
(Dinner crowd shrugs in dissapointment)
Me: Anyone has his number? (To my surprise, all of a sudden there was a impromptu race to provide me the number.....And Triona won!)
(Tried to call Joe with no success)
After dinner, back at Wolf's Games Shop (where all wrestlers, table top gamers and RPGers call their 2nd home).
Andy: So did you call Joe?
Me: No luck. Can't get him.
Andy: Joe called me. It's a no PROMO tournament (PROMO capitalised for a unique reason).
yada yada yada yada.......
After a Movie and some more gaming, and just into 4th June 2005, i.e. 1.00am....Andy, Ahmad, Geoffrey ( I think that's his name) decided Enough With the Trash Talk (and gaming), it's time to feed. Off we went to our usual hangout place at Section 14, PJ. While on the way there, I had this conversation:
Me: Who do you think I should play tomorrow?
Ahmad: You should play 2MPT heat. Consistent deck.
Me: Why? (Again, why you like to ask questions that's already asnwered?) I think I want to play Gail Kim & Molly Holly. It's nice to be able to hit a 0-F manuever for 12 damage!...Andy's here. Don't tell him what I want to play tomorrow!
Ahmad: Ok!
By the end of the feeding session, I left the place bent on going home to build my "Hardcore Molly" deck, but was telling everyone I will play Big Poppa Pump. Yet for some reason, by the time I am home I chose to build a Big Poppa Pump Deck!
5th June 2005, @ 9.30am
Woke up early due to my familiarity to wake up to work. Curses. Thought that I will arrive early at Bangsar and use a proxy deck to play. Since Big Poppa Pump was Raw, I decided it's time to build a SmackDown Eugene deck. After making some changes to my current Raw Eugene, voila! Eugene is now SmackDown specialing in Torrie's DDT, Rock Bottom & thePeople's Elbow and a host of SuperStar Specific Moves that Eugene can mimick. Out of curiosity, I played Big Poppa Pump against Eugene only to see Big Poppa Pump get a Beating it will forget asap! All of a sudden, I have now decided to play Eugene instead! (Note: It is extremely enjoyable to play Eugene as you can hit to most ridiculous moves at your opponents!) Reached Bangsar at 12.20pm and, well, the rest is history......below:
Pre-Tournament:
I played a game with Joe with my Big Poppa Pump and lost marginally to his All Axxess JBL. Then came the time to write my name on the entry list.
Mae: Ben, are you chinese educated?
Me: No, why?
Mae: You write with a stlye similar to chinese caligraphy.
Me: No, their style is similar to me.
Mae: Unless you're thousands of years old....
Me: I am! Can't you tell? I am Immortal!!
Mae: No I can't tell...
Joe: I can. I can smell it!
While that conversation didn't turn out as close as the reality, I would note that for some unknown reason, the way I grip a pen (scratch that thought!) has always had many chinese questioning why I hold it that way...Whatever...
Fast Forward to Round One:
Opponent - Shane O'Mac played by Shaz
Got lucky as he decided not to Mean Streets of Greenwich me and I had the opportunity to play my preferred Prematches. The game was rather one sided, I threw several unique manuevers at him without return, and he was limited to 2 fortitude until the end. Sorry Shaz, Eugene had to Torrie's DDT you.
Round Two:
Opponent - APA by Fiezan
My first Heat opponent. Yet again I got lucky I had enough reversals in my hand and hit him with a first tun That One Thing, choosing submission. He was stuck at 4 fortitude and Torrie's DDT setup another win for Eugene.
Round Three:
Opponent - GOLDBerg by Johan(Joe)
This has got to be the easiet of all matchups. GOLDBerg's lack of 0-fort reversals, coupled by his inability to reverse unique manuevers with his ability, should mean a walkover for me. Yet, yet in this game I made 2 blunders. Firstly, I forgot to play It's Showtime to move first. That gave him an opportunity to push through a manuever (My hand was atrocious) and eventually we were both having 10+ fort. Then, as I wasn't drawing much manuevers, I decided to play Teaser Mode and search for........So Long....Goodbye. Yes it's a Raw Deal Card.
Joe: What did you search for?
Me: So Long, Goodbye.....(showing him the card)
Joe: Hey! That's a PROMO from Ruthless Agression
Me: (looked at the card and saw V 7.0 whatever that meant)
Joe: I know my PROMOs! What irony! So Long! GoodBye! (And laughs no different from a Hyena)
For the next 10+ minutes, I was in shame. Raw Deal Manager playing with an illegal deck. I should have been DQed. Thank goodness Mae, the person running that tourney, wasn't much of a rules person (heck, she probably doesn't even know how to play the game), decided to not decide and let my previous opponents decide on my fate. Due to some suprising turn of events, I was to rematch with Fiezan (Shaz let me off, good man) and lost to him (not so lucky this time). I was now from what should have been 3-0 to 1-2. It's Over for me.
Joe: Hey. Still got another round to go. Andy may still do a Go Behind!
And so there was another round. I was still distraught at this point due to the So Long, Goodbye thingy....Such a poor mistake.
Round Four
Opponent - Babe of the Year by Andy
For what would have been a difficuly match turned out ok as Eugene prevailed. But to think of it, 2 wins just ain't enough. Right? (ok, I have to admit, if I didn't cut it I wouldn't be bothered to write so much of this crap, no?)
Top four single elimination saw me do an "Andy", Go Behind. Andy was once playing with an illegal deck, made our semis matchup the matchup of the Liars, Cheaters & Thieves. However, despite his attempt to play differently, Eugene manage to hit him with more unique manuevers, including Babe Buster!
The other semis was Azmin's Torrie (Eugene's mentor) and Joe's GOLDBerg. Much the same as the swiss rounds, Azmin could not notch that much needed win over Joe to meet me for the final. So it was GOLDBerg VS Eugene in the final.
Joe: Come over and trash me, you cheater!
Me: (Still embarressed over the boo boo).......
No mistakes this time, I showtimed and hit Joe with Double Chop. For some unknown reason, Joe chose to not reverse it and, the rest, I guess, is History (not Anachronism!) Unique move after Unique move, I finished Joe off with RKO!
And so I've won. Yet another US Title Belt. Whatever......
Post Match.
Decided I should try out Azmin's Torrie just to 'prove' nothing, I got hit with DDTs until Eugene pinned out. It would have been a good feel, though!
So Long.....Goodbye......
The above was the name of a Raw Deal Card (Caution! Whole post revolves mainly on a Raw Deal Tournament that happened yesterday) that practically made my day yesterday. Yesterday, after a long, long while, I played in a sanctioned Raw Deal Tournament that I could win a prize. It was for the U.S. Title Belt. Let the storytelling begin.......
Saturday, 4th June 2005 @ 6.00pm
Andy: Hey Ben, did you know there's a tournament tomorrow at Bangsar?
Me: Really?? No, i had no idea.
Andy: Call Joe. He's got the details.
Me: Any card restrictions? (Oi, already asnwered above la!)
later, during a dinner that a I didn't eat....
Andy: So did you call Joe and find out what can/cannot be played?
Me: No, I had his mobile number 3 times, and lost my phone that many times too.
(Dinner crowd shrugs in dissapointment)
Me: Anyone has his number? (To my surprise, all of a sudden there was a impromptu race to provide me the number.....And Triona won!)
(Tried to call Joe with no success)
After dinner, back at Wolf's Games Shop (where all wrestlers, table top gamers and RPGers call their 2nd home).
Andy: So did you call Joe?
Me: No luck. Can't get him.
Andy: Joe called me. It's a no PROMO tournament (PROMO capitalised for a unique reason).
yada yada yada yada.......
After a Movie and some more gaming, and just into 4th June 2005, i.e. 1.00am....Andy, Ahmad, Geoffrey ( I think that's his name) decided Enough With the Trash Talk (and gaming), it's time to feed. Off we went to our usual hangout place at Section 14, PJ. While on the way there, I had this conversation:
Me: Who do you think I should play tomorrow?
Ahmad: You should play 2MPT heat. Consistent deck.
Me: Why? (Again, why you like to ask questions that's already asnwered?) I think I want to play Gail Kim & Molly Holly. It's nice to be able to hit a 0-F manuever for 12 damage!...Andy's here. Don't tell him what I want to play tomorrow!
Ahmad: Ok!
By the end of the feeding session, I left the place bent on going home to build my "Hardcore Molly" deck, but was telling everyone I will play Big Poppa Pump. Yet for some reason, by the time I am home I chose to build a Big Poppa Pump Deck!
5th June 2005, @ 9.30am
Woke up early due to my familiarity to wake up to work. Curses. Thought that I will arrive early at Bangsar and use a proxy deck to play. Since Big Poppa Pump was Raw, I decided it's time to build a SmackDown Eugene deck. After making some changes to my current Raw Eugene, voila! Eugene is now SmackDown specialing in Torrie's DDT, Rock Bottom & thePeople's Elbow and a host of SuperStar Specific Moves that Eugene can mimick. Out of curiosity, I played Big Poppa Pump against Eugene only to see Big Poppa Pump get a Beating it will forget asap! All of a sudden, I have now decided to play Eugene instead! (Note: It is extremely enjoyable to play Eugene as you can hit to most ridiculous moves at your opponents!) Reached Bangsar at 12.20pm and, well, the rest is history......below:
Pre-Tournament:
I played a game with Joe with my Big Poppa Pump and lost marginally to his All Axxess JBL. Then came the time to write my name on the entry list.
Mae: Ben, are you chinese educated?
Me: No, why?
Mae: You write with a stlye similar to chinese caligraphy.
Me: No, their style is similar to me.
Mae: Unless you're thousands of years old....
Me: I am! Can't you tell? I am Immortal!!
Mae: No I can't tell...
Joe: I can. I can smell it!
While that conversation didn't turn out as close as the reality, I would note that for some unknown reason, the way I grip a pen (scratch that thought!) has always had many chinese questioning why I hold it that way...Whatever...
Fast Forward to Round One:
Opponent - Shane O'Mac played by Shaz
Got lucky as he decided not to Mean Streets of Greenwich me and I had the opportunity to play my preferred Prematches. The game was rather one sided, I threw several unique manuevers at him without return, and he was limited to 2 fortitude until the end. Sorry Shaz, Eugene had to Torrie's DDT you.
Round Two:
Opponent - APA by Fiezan
My first Heat opponent. Yet again I got lucky I had enough reversals in my hand and hit him with a first tun That One Thing, choosing submission. He was stuck at 4 fortitude and Torrie's DDT setup another win for Eugene.
Round Three:
Opponent - GOLDBerg by Johan(Joe)
This has got to be the easiet of all matchups. GOLDBerg's lack of 0-fort reversals, coupled by his inability to reverse unique manuevers with his ability, should mean a walkover for me. Yet, yet in this game I made 2 blunders. Firstly, I forgot to play It's Showtime to move first. That gave him an opportunity to push through a manuever (My hand was atrocious) and eventually we were both having 10+ fort. Then, as I wasn't drawing much manuevers, I decided to play Teaser Mode and search for........So Long....Goodbye. Yes it's a Raw Deal Card.
Joe: What did you search for?
Me: So Long, Goodbye.....(showing him the card)
Joe: Hey! That's a PROMO from Ruthless Agression
Me: (looked at the card and saw V 7.0 whatever that meant)
Joe: I know my PROMOs! What irony! So Long! GoodBye! (And laughs no different from a Hyena)
For the next 10+ minutes, I was in shame. Raw Deal Manager playing with an illegal deck. I should have been DQed. Thank goodness Mae, the person running that tourney, wasn't much of a rules person (heck, she probably doesn't even know how to play the game), decided to not decide and let my previous opponents decide on my fate. Due to some suprising turn of events, I was to rematch with Fiezan (Shaz let me off, good man) and lost to him (not so lucky this time). I was now from what should have been 3-0 to 1-2. It's Over for me.
Joe: Hey. Still got another round to go. Andy may still do a Go Behind!
And so there was another round. I was still distraught at this point due to the So Long, Goodbye thingy....Such a poor mistake.
Round Four
Opponent - Babe of the Year by Andy
For what would have been a difficuly match turned out ok as Eugene prevailed. But to think of it, 2 wins just ain't enough. Right? (ok, I have to admit, if I didn't cut it I wouldn't be bothered to write so much of this crap, no?)
Top four single elimination saw me do an "Andy", Go Behind. Andy was once playing with an illegal deck, made our semis matchup the matchup of the Liars, Cheaters & Thieves. However, despite his attempt to play differently, Eugene manage to hit him with more unique manuevers, including Babe Buster!
The other semis was Azmin's Torrie (Eugene's mentor) and Joe's GOLDBerg. Much the same as the swiss rounds, Azmin could not notch that much needed win over Joe to meet me for the final. So it was GOLDBerg VS Eugene in the final.
Joe: Come over and trash me, you cheater!
Me: (Still embarressed over the boo boo).......
No mistakes this time, I showtimed and hit Joe with Double Chop. For some unknown reason, Joe chose to not reverse it and, the rest, I guess, is History (not Anachronism!) Unique move after Unique move, I finished Joe off with RKO!
And so I've won. Yet another US Title Belt. Whatever......
Post Match.
Decided I should try out Azmin's Torrie just to 'prove' nothing, I got hit with DDTs until Eugene pinned out. It would have been a good feel, though!
So Long.....Goodbye......
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