Looks like I'm on the move again. Certain quarters at my workplace have been asking me if I am moving, and I think come tomorrow, my official answer will be yes.
I'm not leaving the company though, just moving floors. Changing departments (more or less), but still doing the same job, same role.
Thinking about change as I write this, I think in the next couple of weeks I have a clear opportunity to make things happen. Now it's all up to me making it work.
I have generally let opportunity pass me by every now and then, but this time I truly must make it work. Time to get back into hardwork mode and laze less, I think...(if only I feel the same as I think, haha)
Writing my blog while working (ahem) isn't helping, too....
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
hugs
Something that I don't do. Period.
It didn't help that despite having parents that were relatively western in thought, hugs just aren't something practiced at home. So for me to greet another person, or say goodbye with a hug, just isn't natural.
But the past 7 days have seen me hug 3 different people. FYI, they're all colleagues from other markets. Being truly western in culture, hugs and kisses (cheek pecks) are a form of greeting and goodbye. And I couldn't go all ewweee about it, so for a couple of seconds, my body like...."what just happened??? Dunno, please asked the brain to intepret what happened and why it did.." Brain would then say, "Oh, it's just a normal way to bid adieu" " WTF??? Normal??? Since when???"
You get the picture. Me no hug, so no hug me....Unless I want you too....ha ha...
It didn't help that despite having parents that were relatively western in thought, hugs just aren't something practiced at home. So for me to greet another person, or say goodbye with a hug, just isn't natural.
But the past 7 days have seen me hug 3 different people. FYI, they're all colleagues from other markets. Being truly western in culture, hugs and kisses (cheek pecks) are a form of greeting and goodbye. And I couldn't go all ewweee about it, so for a couple of seconds, my body like...."what just happened??? Dunno, please asked the brain to intepret what happened and why it did.." Brain would then say, "Oh, it's just a normal way to bid adieu" " WTF??? Normal??? Since when???"
You get the picture. Me no hug, so no hug me....Unless I want you too....ha ha...
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Karaoke
Hmmmm. Confession. I'm a sucker to singing. My personal favourite is to hear the voices of the sopranos of a choir.....Angelic....
Unfortunately my only proper encounter with a choir was during my 2nd year in UPM (that's a University in Malaysia, fyi) where I joined a choir (for the wrong reasons, mind you) and ha to perform live twice while with them. Luckily it was only for the University audience, else I'd be too embarress to talk about it here.
Not to say that we (the choir) sucked, but by the second semester, we had a supposed 'experienced' musician as our conductor who turned out to be....Below par???
Jumping back to the header (My header is actually the theme??? Since when???). I recently had a Karaoke session with some close friends, and while the outing as enjoyable, the experince was....enlightening...
Oh, FYI, I do Karaoke somewhat once a month. Would love to do more, but the cost is not very encouraging. So what's the enlightenment?? You see, I like to sing so much that I memorise quite a number of them (unfortunately my voice isn't a 10 point advantage (ref: GURPS) so life as an entertainer is't an option), and I end up chosing these songs while I karaoke. The other 'problem' is that these songs ususally are MTV versions, i.e. no lyrics to sing along, so other people who don't know the lyrics by heart won't be able to participate.
Now the thing about karaoke is that it's meant for a group of people, irregardless of musical ability, to sing their hearts (and sometimes throat's) worth without caring if it's music to other's ears. However, with MTV, not only do you hear the original artist singing, you also have no lyrics to sing along....Get the picture???
I didn't get it 'till 48 hours ago..So while I happily sing songs I sing on a regular basis in the semi-lit room, others have nothing to do but listen. Now in a concert hall, that's probably what you want to do. In a Karaoke-room however, other than that 1 person who may be fiddling with the remote to pick the next millionth song, others aren't doing something they're there for...Sing.
Smack into my face, that revelation. SO I've decided that from now on, I'll not sing any song that others can't sing along with. No lyrics, no song. For the songs I know by heart, I ca ing them anywhere and anytime I want....
Except while in Karaoke.....
Unfortunately my only proper encounter with a choir was during my 2nd year in UPM (that's a University in Malaysia, fyi) where I joined a choir (for the wrong reasons, mind you) and ha to perform live twice while with them. Luckily it was only for the University audience, else I'd be too embarress to talk about it here.
Not to say that we (the choir) sucked, but by the second semester, we had a supposed 'experienced' musician as our conductor who turned out to be....Below par???
Jumping back to the header (My header is actually the theme??? Since when???). I recently had a Karaoke session with some close friends, and while the outing as enjoyable, the experince was....enlightening...
Oh, FYI, I do Karaoke somewhat once a month. Would love to do more, but the cost is not very encouraging. So what's the enlightenment?? You see, I like to sing so much that I memorise quite a number of them (unfortunately my voice isn't a 10 point advantage (ref: GURPS) so life as an entertainer is't an option), and I end up chosing these songs while I karaoke. The other 'problem' is that these songs ususally are MTV versions, i.e. no lyrics to sing along, so other people who don't know the lyrics by heart won't be able to participate.
Now the thing about karaoke is that it's meant for a group of people, irregardless of musical ability, to sing their hearts (and sometimes throat's) worth without caring if it's music to other's ears. However, with MTV, not only do you hear the original artist singing, you also have no lyrics to sing along....Get the picture???
I didn't get it 'till 48 hours ago..So while I happily sing songs I sing on a regular basis in the semi-lit room, others have nothing to do but listen. Now in a concert hall, that's probably what you want to do. In a Karaoke-room however, other than that 1 person who may be fiddling with the remote to pick the next millionth song, others aren't doing something they're there for...Sing.
Smack into my face, that revelation. SO I've decided that from now on, I'll not sing any song that others can't sing along with. No lyrics, no song. For the songs I know by heart, I ca ing them anywhere and anytime I want....
Except while in Karaoke.....
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Whoa.....(response to previous long thread comment)
Looks like my wish for a certain Barry to not read that post didn't happen. It also looks like we have things that we need to trash over and hopefully I'd still get the chance.
Somehow or rather, I guess critising MLM results in criticising everyone in it. Not very bright, am I? Not ever very bright, but highly opinionated(?). Truly sorry to have had you known how I truly feel about MLM, but I guess it was eventual.
That aside, to everyone who is doing MLM, and didn't like what I said, I am not sorry of my opinion. Nor will I be sorry if it seemed to be a negative point of view to your lives. I am an advocate of diversity. In every circle of life, there will be one leader, many followers, 1 freak, 1 saint, 1 etc...You get the picture. Simply because the guy on top looks to be the happiest doesn't mean he is. But if that's what you want, go get it. With all your heart and soul.
Oh well, I won't achieve much diplomacy after the prior post on this issue. But I do note this, people do change. So will I.
At my pace.......
Somehow or rather, I guess critising MLM results in criticising everyone in it. Not very bright, am I? Not ever very bright, but highly opinionated(?). Truly sorry to have had you known how I truly feel about MLM, but I guess it was eventual.
That aside, to everyone who is doing MLM, and didn't like what I said, I am not sorry of my opinion. Nor will I be sorry if it seemed to be a negative point of view to your lives. I am an advocate of diversity. In every circle of life, there will be one leader, many followers, 1 freak, 1 saint, 1 etc...You get the picture. Simply because the guy on top looks to be the happiest doesn't mean he is. But if that's what you want, go get it. With all your heart and soul.
Oh well, I won't achieve much diplomacy after the prior post on this issue. But I do note this, people do change. So will I.
At my pace.......
Monday, September 19, 2005
Change - (Warning, looooooong post)
No, it's not spare coins. Nor is this the sound you hear from one of the old arcade games. A few posts back I noted that it's time I changed, and that I have gained nothing from being myself today.
Yesterday, through some rather weird turn of events, I was brought to a table to discuss matters pertaining to financial opportunities. While discussing those opportunities, my personality not only got analysed, it took a great amount of knocks as well.
While the 'closers' were spot on when identifying my personality type, what they failed to catch was that I was reading their gameplan like a book. First, show how easy it is to make lots of money. Then, show how many people have made that money. After that, entice you to try from the bottom, since you've got nothing to lose from there, right?
Yes, specifically it's an MLM. Truth be told, really, the plan is probably a new way of making business. Imagine if everything that you bought you had a stake in it, that eventually you'd get something back. Well in MLM, given time, and bigger your circle of 'network' is, your returns may just superceed your investment.
But ofcourse, the investment in total of your 'network' will definitely not come close to your returns. Under no situation would any company let you take home more than you've invested. You'd probably think that you've only brought in X amount, and now you take home 2X amount home each month, so ultimately the venture is successful and you've got excellent returns for your initial investment.
Yet the actual investment is far more than you'd see. The actual amount of investment is the total number of sales/investment your whole team has contributed, and that could easily be from 3X to 6X per level of MLM. And it will usually take at least 3-4 levels before you'd ever begin earning your X that you've invested. In other words, if no one else invest, you're stuck with no returns.....
But back to the concept if everything you bought you'd have a stake in it...Like every toothpaste you buy, you get back a 10% of it's retail price. Or if you buy a new car, by being a partner, you'd get back 10% discount. And from there onwards, each other person you introduce to buy the same branded car, you'd get a cut, and the new buyer get's his discount. Eventually, there wouldn't really be a need for sales persons anymore, since everyone will be out to get everyone else to buy with him (note: not for him, but with him. For once you've bought it with him once, you're in his shoes now, eager to get more new buyers).
Then the unimaginable thing happens, with everyone already a partner of everything he/she would ever want to own, and that no one else would be available to be recruited anymore, hence critical mass...Or that it's becoming such a success, no ones wants to let anyone else override their stakes...Note again, this is for everyday purchases....
This of course, will not happen for 2 things:
1) Time. Mankind will continue to regenerate itself, so much so that even if you've had the world's population as your consumer, each second there will be someone else alive who isn't your consumer...yet. So imagine the baby stalkings! "Hey, your kid should be a partner in so & so scheme to earn the returns from age 0!" Without a doubt, though, the parents would be saying," yeah, and he's going to be under me!"
2) Diversity rocks. Despite all this hype about jewellery, there's that small amount of people that just don't buy it. You love KFC, I love McD's. While you believe being a partner in everything you buy gets you good returns, I think it's bollocks. Hell, even heaven, the best thing that you don't need money to buy, isn't 'sold' to every living thing in the world.
So hitting critical mass is only theorethically possible, and realistically impossible. Which means, you'd never run out of prospects. The key then for this business is finding your prospects/investors, or what they call partners.
So we've come to a conclusion that it can't fail, at least not through lack of prospects. The incentive scheme is generally well thought out and extremely enticing, so under no reason should that be the hindrance. Then, what is? Why do we know of so many people who does MLM and fails?
It is Diversity that once again becomes the stumbling block. You see, to be a MLM person, you need to fit into a certain mold of person. And it is just 1 mold. Yes, those who do it would contest otherwise, but in reality, they are all the same. They have 1 goal that they share (and mind you, it isn't always money....Isn't always), 1 lifestyle that they want to lead (hint: travel the world and the seven seas is generally a common theme), and 1 thing that they consider success; Being their own boss.
So to succeed, or to be enticed to be a part of this 'revolution', you'd have to either want to be that way, or know not how to not want to i.e. you truly believe that you do not like that way of life. A way of life where money is scarcely an issue, where you'd seem to have all the time in the world to do whatever you want, and you'd have close friends and partners to boot.
What a load of bull! Analyse this. For everyone you'd know who'd have money to spare, they're unlikely to have time for themselves, or much of any friends. If they had time, chances are money is an issue, and/or friends as well. If you have all the friends in the world, chances are the other 2 aren't available in abundance. To have everything borders on perfection, and being the imperfect bengs that we are, we seem to be unable to accept that fact and constantly strive for the impossible.
Then they'd show you all the names of people who lead the lifestyle they're trying to sell you. But will you really get to see their personal lives? They'd go up the stage and speak of great holidays, power real estates and luxury cars, but will anyone of them truly say "I now spend time with my family, and use only 10 hours a week teaching people about this business" and prove it. They like to discount the many hours they spend networking at parties, workshops, drinks sessions and talking about their business as 'free time'. They'd say that the business runs on it's own, and little intervention is needed to keep it running.
And their best show is helping others achieve their greatness. As an indication of sincerity. I must say, one would be truly optimistic to suspect nothing is amiss. They say when you start to work, it's the 'real world'. Since when does that cease if you join MLM? It doesn't. It's just that people in MLM are so much better at hiding their agendas and intentions, you'd need microscopic eyes to seen that hint of taint in them. Really, the successful ones are truly that good.
Okay, I am not saying there aren't good people in the world, but the MLM history has not been clean by far. Their track record at hustling people off their hopes and, specifically money is just to great to ignore. They sell you a hope, not a product. And hope is mankind's greatest value, as well as biggest downfall. By using your hopes and dreams to sell you a product, this I deem, is questionable. When current commercial practice sell you a product, you know what you get for the price that you pay. If you don't get what was advertised, or per understanding, there are legal & illegal ways to rectify the issue.
By selling you hope, you have no insurance. Much like religion. Have faith, and God will be with you. If he isn't, you have little faith. With this hope that you have bought, your subsequent actions must be according to their mold, their practices, their teachings, and if and when you choose otherwise, and fail, they'll then blame it on you. It is your failure. Your lack of commitment, trust and effort is the reason you've not succeeded. You have failed to become one of them. And all you can do is take that mental attack and have no defence.
No, they're are no cult, by definition. But look beyond the confines of time, interpolate their goals and reasons, and you shall see their offer is not too far away. "Hoping for a better future? Join us and we will show you the way"..........
Shivers. Now, what has this to do with change? You see, for me to be successful like them, I need to be like them. I can't succeed by being me. Well, you can enjoy being you. I'll stick to being me.
Having said that, the whole discussion, if it was without the MLM connection, was somewhat eye opening as it did show what my areas of opportunities are, and showed truly clearly, where my areas of strength are as well.
And like most, if not all self help workshops/books, it's all about self help. Others can help you see, but it is you yourself that must walk the walk.
I have been shown the paths, I have been given the light, now all that's left is the decision to start walking. Preferably with the light, but on a path I chose, and no one else.
Yesterday, through some rather weird turn of events, I was brought to a table to discuss matters pertaining to financial opportunities. While discussing those opportunities, my personality not only got analysed, it took a great amount of knocks as well.
While the 'closers' were spot on when identifying my personality type, what they failed to catch was that I was reading their gameplan like a book. First, show how easy it is to make lots of money. Then, show how many people have made that money. After that, entice you to try from the bottom, since you've got nothing to lose from there, right?
Yes, specifically it's an MLM. Truth be told, really, the plan is probably a new way of making business. Imagine if everything that you bought you had a stake in it, that eventually you'd get something back. Well in MLM, given time, and bigger your circle of 'network' is, your returns may just superceed your investment.
But ofcourse, the investment in total of your 'network' will definitely not come close to your returns. Under no situation would any company let you take home more than you've invested. You'd probably think that you've only brought in X amount, and now you take home 2X amount home each month, so ultimately the venture is successful and you've got excellent returns for your initial investment.
Yet the actual investment is far more than you'd see. The actual amount of investment is the total number of sales/investment your whole team has contributed, and that could easily be from 3X to 6X per level of MLM. And it will usually take at least 3-4 levels before you'd ever begin earning your X that you've invested. In other words, if no one else invest, you're stuck with no returns.....
But back to the concept if everything you bought you'd have a stake in it...Like every toothpaste you buy, you get back a 10% of it's retail price. Or if you buy a new car, by being a partner, you'd get back 10% discount. And from there onwards, each other person you introduce to buy the same branded car, you'd get a cut, and the new buyer get's his discount. Eventually, there wouldn't really be a need for sales persons anymore, since everyone will be out to get everyone else to buy with him (note: not for him, but with him. For once you've bought it with him once, you're in his shoes now, eager to get more new buyers).
Then the unimaginable thing happens, with everyone already a partner of everything he/she would ever want to own, and that no one else would be available to be recruited anymore, hence critical mass...Or that it's becoming such a success, no ones wants to let anyone else override their stakes...Note again, this is for everyday purchases....
This of course, will not happen for 2 things:
1) Time. Mankind will continue to regenerate itself, so much so that even if you've had the world's population as your consumer, each second there will be someone else alive who isn't your consumer...yet. So imagine the baby stalkings! "Hey, your kid should be a partner in so & so scheme to earn the returns from age 0!" Without a doubt, though, the parents would be saying," yeah, and he's going to be under me!"
2) Diversity rocks. Despite all this hype about jewellery, there's that small amount of people that just don't buy it. You love KFC, I love McD's. While you believe being a partner in everything you buy gets you good returns, I think it's bollocks. Hell, even heaven, the best thing that you don't need money to buy, isn't 'sold' to every living thing in the world.
So hitting critical mass is only theorethically possible, and realistically impossible. Which means, you'd never run out of prospects. The key then for this business is finding your prospects/investors, or what they call partners.
So we've come to a conclusion that it can't fail, at least not through lack of prospects. The incentive scheme is generally well thought out and extremely enticing, so under no reason should that be the hindrance. Then, what is? Why do we know of so many people who does MLM and fails?
It is Diversity that once again becomes the stumbling block. You see, to be a MLM person, you need to fit into a certain mold of person. And it is just 1 mold. Yes, those who do it would contest otherwise, but in reality, they are all the same. They have 1 goal that they share (and mind you, it isn't always money....Isn't always), 1 lifestyle that they want to lead (hint: travel the world and the seven seas is generally a common theme), and 1 thing that they consider success; Being their own boss.
So to succeed, or to be enticed to be a part of this 'revolution', you'd have to either want to be that way, or know not how to not want to i.e. you truly believe that you do not like that way of life. A way of life where money is scarcely an issue, where you'd seem to have all the time in the world to do whatever you want, and you'd have close friends and partners to boot.
What a load of bull! Analyse this. For everyone you'd know who'd have money to spare, they're unlikely to have time for themselves, or much of any friends. If they had time, chances are money is an issue, and/or friends as well. If you have all the friends in the world, chances are the other 2 aren't available in abundance. To have everything borders on perfection, and being the imperfect bengs that we are, we seem to be unable to accept that fact and constantly strive for the impossible.
Then they'd show you all the names of people who lead the lifestyle they're trying to sell you. But will you really get to see their personal lives? They'd go up the stage and speak of great holidays, power real estates and luxury cars, but will anyone of them truly say "I now spend time with my family, and use only 10 hours a week teaching people about this business" and prove it. They like to discount the many hours they spend networking at parties, workshops, drinks sessions and talking about their business as 'free time'. They'd say that the business runs on it's own, and little intervention is needed to keep it running.
And their best show is helping others achieve their greatness. As an indication of sincerity. I must say, one would be truly optimistic to suspect nothing is amiss. They say when you start to work, it's the 'real world'. Since when does that cease if you join MLM? It doesn't. It's just that people in MLM are so much better at hiding their agendas and intentions, you'd need microscopic eyes to seen that hint of taint in them. Really, the successful ones are truly that good.
Okay, I am not saying there aren't good people in the world, but the MLM history has not been clean by far. Their track record at hustling people off their hopes and, specifically money is just to great to ignore. They sell you a hope, not a product. And hope is mankind's greatest value, as well as biggest downfall. By using your hopes and dreams to sell you a product, this I deem, is questionable. When current commercial practice sell you a product, you know what you get for the price that you pay. If you don't get what was advertised, or per understanding, there are legal & illegal ways to rectify the issue.
By selling you hope, you have no insurance. Much like religion. Have faith, and God will be with you. If he isn't, you have little faith. With this hope that you have bought, your subsequent actions must be according to their mold, their practices, their teachings, and if and when you choose otherwise, and fail, they'll then blame it on you. It is your failure. Your lack of commitment, trust and effort is the reason you've not succeeded. You have failed to become one of them. And all you can do is take that mental attack and have no defence.
No, they're are no cult, by definition. But look beyond the confines of time, interpolate their goals and reasons, and you shall see their offer is not too far away. "Hoping for a better future? Join us and we will show you the way"..........
Shivers. Now, what has this to do with change? You see, for me to be successful like them, I need to be like them. I can't succeed by being me. Well, you can enjoy being you. I'll stick to being me.
Having said that, the whole discussion, if it was without the MLM connection, was somewhat eye opening as it did show what my areas of opportunities are, and showed truly clearly, where my areas of strength are as well.
And like most, if not all self help workshops/books, it's all about self help. Others can help you see, but it is you yourself that must walk the walk.
I have been shown the paths, I have been given the light, now all that's left is the decision to start walking. Preferably with the light, but on a path I chose, and no one else.
Thursday, September 15, 2005
What on earth?
Is wrong with me??? ( I know that answer, actually, but have since refrain from discussing it here...sorry)
Must continue to focus on things that do not hurt, that does not betray.
On lighter note, I will be attempting to, wait, I can't say that....(Har har, my other personalities playing on me again..) Enough to say, it's another expensive venture that will open up more possibilities in the future....but it involves me alone.
Recently I have updated somewhere else that by the end of the year, I must own an Electronic Keyborad of 5 octaves or higher. This is my second written promise to myself. If I fail to deliver this, anyone that sees me mext January, shoot me. Kick me. Whatever (the F adjective is not applicable unless you are a non-related female that I would be interested)....
So if you find me being much more guarded on how I spend my money, hopefulyy this is an indication why.
Until then, I will continue to play till my heart recovers....Or I have a heart attack...Whichever that comes first...
Must continue to focus on things that do not hurt, that does not betray.
On lighter note, I will be attempting to, wait, I can't say that....(Har har, my other personalities playing on me again..) Enough to say, it's another expensive venture that will open up more possibilities in the future....but it involves me alone.
Recently I have updated somewhere else that by the end of the year, I must own an Electronic Keyborad of 5 octaves or higher. This is my second written promise to myself. If I fail to deliver this, anyone that sees me mext January, shoot me. Kick me. Whatever (the F adjective is not applicable unless you are a non-related female that I would be interested)....
So if you find me being much more guarded on how I spend my money, hopefulyy this is an indication why.
Until then, I will continue to play till my heart recovers....Or I have a heart attack...Whichever that comes first...
Friday, September 09, 2005
MIQ?
Ha ha. Bet'cha don't know what that means.
My family seems to have a weird sense of communication. We had tendencies to create synonyms, for the most ridiculous of....phrases?
Allow me to provide examples:
MIQ - Make it Quick. Used when we need to rush each other into something.
LowIQ - Pronounced "low-ik". Meant to label people with Low IQ (duh?)
um....sorry. Mental block..can't think of others right now.
Will repost this later.
haha
My family seems to have a weird sense of communication. We had tendencies to create synonyms, for the most ridiculous of....phrases?
Allow me to provide examples:
MIQ - Make it Quick. Used when we need to rush each other into something.
LowIQ - Pronounced "low-ik". Meant to label people with Low IQ (duh?)
um....sorry. Mental block..can't think of others right now.
Will repost this later.
haha
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
What now?
The decision to name my new boss has been delayed, making my own decision to follow my old boss delayed as well. Everyone I know asks me the same million dollar question, "So when are you moving down to 14th floor?"
Inertia. By definition is directly related to one's weight. I am approx. 100KG, so I surely have a higher degree of inertia compared to others. So what does inertia have to do with me, or anything? Basically inertia talks about objects preference to remain in their current state. If you are moving, you'd like to remain moving. But if you are at a stop, you'd need a whole lot of energy to get you going again.
That's where I am now. At a halt. Full stop. I am so bored of trying new things, so tired of the things I do now, and so reluctant to change my environment. Near the end of last year I contemplated to work on a cruise (ot that I was getting a job...) and that never materialsed 'cos I'm so lazy to change my lifestyle. Not to mentioned I just got myself a RM 9K instalment to pay-off. So I remained where I was. Even further back, I wanted to move out of my apartment that I pay rent monthly so that I'd live on my own...I even had a friend that found me a place that was near to where I work, and within my budget....
Of course, if I have moved, I'd probably not be writing this now... Now I am at another corner of my life. I need to change me, but I can't muster the will to make that change. Nor do I have the courage to be what I am currently not. Then there's always that age old defence of trying to stay me, not wanting to change for change's sake, not wanting to become someone else....Excuses...
I once tried to explain that excuses aren't reasons...I can have 1000 excuses why I shouldn't change...But the truth is, I have no reason to it. So I should change. Be someone else...Not like the current me is getting me anywhere....
Inertia. By definition is directly related to one's weight. I am approx. 100KG, so I surely have a higher degree of inertia compared to others. So what does inertia have to do with me, or anything? Basically inertia talks about objects preference to remain in their current state. If you are moving, you'd like to remain moving. But if you are at a stop, you'd need a whole lot of energy to get you going again.
That's where I am now. At a halt. Full stop. I am so bored of trying new things, so tired of the things I do now, and so reluctant to change my environment. Near the end of last year I contemplated to work on a cruise (ot that I was getting a job...) and that never materialsed 'cos I'm so lazy to change my lifestyle. Not to mentioned I just got myself a RM 9K instalment to pay-off. So I remained where I was. Even further back, I wanted to move out of my apartment that I pay rent monthly so that I'd live on my own...I even had a friend that found me a place that was near to where I work, and within my budget....
Of course, if I have moved, I'd probably not be writing this now... Now I am at another corner of my life. I need to change me, but I can't muster the will to make that change. Nor do I have the courage to be what I am currently not. Then there's always that age old defence of trying to stay me, not wanting to change for change's sake, not wanting to become someone else....Excuses...
I once tried to explain that excuses aren't reasons...I can have 1000 excuses why I shouldn't change...But the truth is, I have no reason to it. So I should change. Be someone else...Not like the current me is getting me anywhere....
Friday, September 02, 2005
It's been awhile
I haven't blogged for awhile...been really busy at work..Didn't help when I spent the whole Public Holiday on Wednesday out...So no chance of any R&R.
Today, I am slightly less busy. Most of my work came from visitors of regional offices dropping by, and there are 3 groups to be exact. 1 has come and going, 1 is here and leaving soon, and the last will be in and out on Monday. After that, i'll be back the slower pace of work life.
So, what shall we write about today??
Recently I have acquired new cards fro mthe CCG Vampire: the Eternal Struggle and have found the cards most interesting. I have even built a new deck of Ravnos. Can't wait to play it with the other VtE enthusiast at the shop.
I should write more, but I'm facing a writer's block...I think...Maybe later...Who knows?
Today, I am slightly less busy. Most of my work came from visitors of regional offices dropping by, and there are 3 groups to be exact. 1 has come and going, 1 is here and leaving soon, and the last will be in and out on Monday. After that, i'll be back the slower pace of work life.
So, what shall we write about today??
Recently I have acquired new cards fro mthe CCG Vampire: the Eternal Struggle and have found the cards most interesting. I have even built a new deck of Ravnos. Can't wait to play it with the other VtE enthusiast at the shop.
I should write more, but I'm facing a writer's block...I think...Maybe later...Who knows?
Saturday, August 27, 2005
What a Gala
Barely an hour before I was at Dewan Philharmonik Petronas attending it's Gala Concert for Season 2005/2006.
It was nice to be there, even nicer to have a friend there with me. When you read this, thanks dude..It was rather fun to show you how diferent the Gala concert is compared to the usual fixtures..
The show started with an Overture from one of Rosini's operas, followed by 4 songs by Strauss. Sung by a soprano in German, I found myself awed by the vocal strength, but lost musically. I guess contemporary songs has gotten me accustomed to the structure, and th song that I heard had so different a structure that I got lost trying to find the melody.
Then it was the expected intermission, where we were served some light refreshments before the final part which was an orchestral arrangement of one of Brahms' Piano Quartet. No piano here, but the pieces were arranged very close to Brahms' style, at least on my point of view.
As usual, at the end of the concert the Malaysian crowd clapped for an encore, of which the orchestra obliged with Brahms' Hungarian Dance no.1. it was nice to finish off with a piece that I remember! Then the concert ended and we leave the concert hall to be greeted by supper!
A plate full of pasta, lasagna, some spring rolls, Murtabak and chicken later, the Gala experience ws over and I strongly believe it was money well spent. If you love classical music, want to see many ladies in fine evening gowns and prefer a peaceful weekend outing comapred to the loud boom ounds and choking air of a night club, I recommend you see the Gala concert too. but you'd have to wait till next year, though!
It was nice to be there, even nicer to have a friend there with me. When you read this, thanks dude..It was rather fun to show you how diferent the Gala concert is compared to the usual fixtures..
The show started with an Overture from one of Rosini's operas, followed by 4 songs by Strauss. Sung by a soprano in German, I found myself awed by the vocal strength, but lost musically. I guess contemporary songs has gotten me accustomed to the structure, and th song that I heard had so different a structure that I got lost trying to find the melody.
Then it was the expected intermission, where we were served some light refreshments before the final part which was an orchestral arrangement of one of Brahms' Piano Quartet. No piano here, but the pieces were arranged very close to Brahms' style, at least on my point of view.
As usual, at the end of the concert the Malaysian crowd clapped for an encore, of which the orchestra obliged with Brahms' Hungarian Dance no.1. it was nice to finish off with a piece that I remember! Then the concert ended and we leave the concert hall to be greeted by supper!
A plate full of pasta, lasagna, some spring rolls, Murtabak and chicken later, the Gala experience ws over and I strongly believe it was money well spent. If you love classical music, want to see many ladies in fine evening gowns and prefer a peaceful weekend outing comapred to the loud boom ounds and choking air of a night club, I recommend you see the Gala concert too. but you'd have to wait till next year, though!
Friday, August 26, 2005
What is point blank range???
Would you believe it that point blank range is anything 5 meters or less?
Last Friday, I went to a shooting range as part of a compnay activity. We were given a pistol, Baretta something, which has a magazine capacity of 15 rounds. But, we were only given 10 rounds to begin with.
At first, practice shots (5 rounds) were at 5 meters, of which my shots were all within the target area (8 point or higher). Then the next 5 rounds were at 10m. BOy, did I sucked then..
Then came the competition round. I had 10 rounds at 10m, and guess what? I only hit the target 8 times for a total points of 24! (Insert extremely embarressed me here....)
Oh, less I forget, my sister, who incidentally works in the same company as I do, shot a 91! (Max score 100) Thank god some other guy got 94, or else I'd be haunted by this utter humiliation. She was second best, so that's not bad at all!
Hmm, so my point blank range is 5m. Anything further than that, I'll miss. So no worries if I have a gun, people. I can't hit shite!
Last Friday, I went to a shooting range as part of a compnay activity. We were given a pistol, Baretta something, which has a magazine capacity of 15 rounds. But, we were only given 10 rounds to begin with.
At first, practice shots (5 rounds) were at 5 meters, of which my shots were all within the target area (8 point or higher). Then the next 5 rounds were at 10m. BOy, did I sucked then..
Then came the competition round. I had 10 rounds at 10m, and guess what? I only hit the target 8 times for a total points of 24! (Insert extremely embarressed me here....)
Oh, less I forget, my sister, who incidentally works in the same company as I do, shot a 91! (Max score 100) Thank god some other guy got 94, or else I'd be haunted by this utter humiliation. She was second best, so that's not bad at all!
Hmm, so my point blank range is 5m. Anything further than that, I'll miss. So no worries if I have a gun, people. I can't hit shite!
Thursday, August 25, 2005
Summer Cleaning
People clean their house ususally nearing their main yearly holidays, Chinese before CNY, Malays before Hari Raya Aidifitri, Indians before Deepavali, Christians before Xmas, etc... My family never cleans for any festivities..ever...We'd try, every now and then, but the house still looks like a mess. Which explains my I don't invites friends over during festivities. Visitng a dumpsite just isn't a place you'd like to go....especially during festivities..
For some unknown reason, it was decided that there were too much junk at home (like, duh!) and that it's time to make space. Better reason would be that my mother stresses out when the house is in a mess, and for a person with a heart condition, stress is not something we'd like her to have...Oh, btw, my parents are moving in...Explains the need to clean up.
This is not to say that my house (which currently houses all my siblings bar 1) was ever really clean when our parents were with us. It's just that back then, she could handle stress. Now stress = hospital visits... So for the past 2 weeks my siblings and I have been cleaning up the house every night (close) after work, and weekends as well (sometimes). Now the house looks even messier with many things that need to go still residing at home.
Our target date is at the end of month, which is also when our parents return. We even had an 'project planner' created on Excel just to ensure each of us complete our task on time. Actually, it was more to remind us to complete it on time...We are a procrastinating bunch, you see....
So that's the story on Summer Cleaning. It isn't over, and hopefully it'll make the house hospitable enough for guest...
Oh, funny line I said to my siblings the other day, : Imagine all this hard work, and at the end of day, our house still look like a mess?"
For some unknown reason, it was decided that there were too much junk at home (like, duh!) and that it's time to make space. Better reason would be that my mother stresses out when the house is in a mess, and for a person with a heart condition, stress is not something we'd like her to have...Oh, btw, my parents are moving in...Explains the need to clean up.
This is not to say that my house (which currently houses all my siblings bar 1) was ever really clean when our parents were with us. It's just that back then, she could handle stress. Now stress = hospital visits... So for the past 2 weeks my siblings and I have been cleaning up the house every night (close) after work, and weekends as well (sometimes). Now the house looks even messier with many things that need to go still residing at home.
Our target date is at the end of month, which is also when our parents return. We even had an 'project planner' created on Excel just to ensure each of us complete our task on time. Actually, it was more to remind us to complete it on time...We are a procrastinating bunch, you see....
So that's the story on Summer Cleaning. It isn't over, and hopefully it'll make the house hospitable enough for guest...
Oh, funny line I said to my siblings the other day, : Imagine all this hard work, and at the end of day, our house still look like a mess?"
Enough of this Trash Talk
Dear Readers,
due to unforseen circumstances, I will now refrain from posting anything that touched on my recent attempt to find a significant other. It's all trash talk anyway....
On the other hand, I hope to write more on other topics not related to me, i.e. Wrestling, Football(Soccer), World Issues (yeah right..), etc...
Will try to post more. Thanks for reading..
FYI. I'm still unwell...But That, I have always been....
" Every cloud has it's silver lining"..
due to unforseen circumstances, I will now refrain from posting anything that touched on my recent attempt to find a significant other. It's all trash talk anyway....
On the other hand, I hope to write more on other topics not related to me, i.e. Wrestling, Football(Soccer), World Issues (yeah right..), etc...
Will try to post more. Thanks for reading..
FYI. I'm still unwell...But That, I have always been....
" Every cloud has it's silver lining"..
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
12 hours into 27.....
And I must say birthdays sucks.....
I really wanted to wait until the end of the day to post, so that I could put all the bad things that happened, and then some good things, so that hopefully I'd "see the line in the sand", find "the silver lining", spot "the blessing in disguise".....
But after the number of setbacks till 1.00pm....I can't hold on....Must blog...
Setback One:
Woke up late again. It doesn't help I'm not sleeping early enough, but having to see my Mom after work for the past few days haven't helped.
Setback Two:
My routine to work involves me walking downhill for approx. 15 minutes to the most accessible bus stop. Today, it chose to rain.
Setback Three:
Already I was late, there was also an accident on the Sungai Besi Highway. Suffice to say, the bus journey was uneventful and extended.
Setback four:
In my company we have this broadcast that happens daily from 8.30am to 9.00am. 3 persons got birthday dedications, with one of them belated. I'm still wondering where's mine.
Setback five:
I screwed up my boss' appointments to say. She isn't happy. Need I say more??
Setback Six:
I found out that certain movements in my company may result in me having to move departments. Initially this was a good thing, as it gave me an option to help keep a certain someone in the company. Yet during lunch today, I came to know that this was the plan after all:
My Boss moves departments. I'm unchange because I report to both her current department and her new one. New boss moves to my current department. If I move to my new boss' department, and if they successfully create another position similar to mine, then I will move and allow the new boss to bring his previous assistant, who, by the way, is currently forced to take up other responsibilities because her position was eliminated, to my current department. My boss will be happy, the new boss will be happy, the assistant will be happy (but I, will have yet another ego bashing. To the core!
My worst fears is the fact that the assistant, may be nicer to me recently to ensure all this manuevering is successful! Bah! I feel so used! But this isn't the worse setback.....
Ultimate Setback for this 1/2 day, Setback Seven!:
An old friend from University found my recently created Friendster account and sent me a holler. After my reply, she gave me a heads up on several people that I know, including about a person, whom I consider is my idol, my superior, my complement, the "one" that got away.......She's married. (insert visual of heart dropping 19 floors to the ground, splattering all over). Do not misunderstand, she is the one that got away, and I have accepted there is no realistic way to ever find that opportunity again. However, to know this, on my 27th Birthday, after just receiving a relatively destructive setback...........arrrgh!!!!!!
If I wasn't working I would be crying. Really. sob. Hard.
I've endured having a National Blackout on my birthday, and many years of complete non-existence but today, is a day that will be on my mind for the rest of my life. It epitomise how my life is one of the simple, normal person. Shit happens when you hope for a bright new day. Dream all you want, since reality only knows the opposite.
Nothing lasts forever.....Thank god. That's my only consolation when dealing with pain. Now, let's try to make it go away (Sorry, will pass any offers of alcohol and drugs. Will not substitute one pain with another).
**** ****
Setback eight:
At 5.20pm, 10 minutes from a quick exit out of my office building, I was required to perform a last minute task that would generally require 40-60 minutes to complete. Worse of all, I can't really know if that last minute task needs to be undertaken until 6pm! You have no idea how unhappy I was. I decided to go ahead and perform the task anyway in 7 minutes and hand the completed result to the person in charge, letting them decide on the final go/no go decision.
Setback nine:
What else can stp me from leaving my office at 5.30p sharp now? How about a false alarm at 5.27pm? The alarm rang all the way until 6pm, and despite several announcements that it was indeed a false alarm, unfortunately the alarms triggered the 'no-function' option on the lifts, making hundreds of people leaving the building via the staircases. I was on 19th floor..........
**** ****
I'd like to thank the 2 souls that help keep me going after lunch. While you didn't really change the chemical makup affected my internals during that period, you id help prevent further deterioration of my chemicals within.
I really wanted to wait until the end of the day to post, so that I could put all the bad things that happened, and then some good things, so that hopefully I'd "see the line in the sand", find "the silver lining", spot "the blessing in disguise".....
But after the number of setbacks till 1.00pm....I can't hold on....Must blog...
Setback One:
Woke up late again. It doesn't help I'm not sleeping early enough, but having to see my Mom after work for the past few days haven't helped.
Setback Two:
My routine to work involves me walking downhill for approx. 15 minutes to the most accessible bus stop. Today, it chose to rain.
Setback Three:
Already I was late, there was also an accident on the Sungai Besi Highway. Suffice to say, the bus journey was uneventful and extended.
Setback four:
In my company we have this broadcast that happens daily from 8.30am to 9.00am. 3 persons got birthday dedications, with one of them belated. I'm still wondering where's mine.
Setback five:
I screwed up my boss' appointments to say. She isn't happy. Need I say more??
Setback Six:
I found out that certain movements in my company may result in me having to move departments. Initially this was a good thing, as it gave me an option to help keep a certain someone in the company. Yet during lunch today, I came to know that this was the plan after all:
My Boss moves departments. I'm unchange because I report to both her current department and her new one. New boss moves to my current department. If I move to my new boss' department, and if they successfully create another position similar to mine, then I will move and allow the new boss to bring his previous assistant, who, by the way, is currently forced to take up other responsibilities because her position was eliminated, to my current department. My boss will be happy, the new boss will be happy, the assistant will be happy (but I, will have yet another ego bashing. To the core!
My worst fears is the fact that the assistant, may be nicer to me recently to ensure all this manuevering is successful! Bah! I feel so used! But this isn't the worse setback.....
Ultimate Setback for this 1/2 day, Setback Seven!:
An old friend from University found my recently created Friendster account and sent me a holler. After my reply, she gave me a heads up on several people that I know, including about a person, whom I consider is my idol, my superior, my complement, the "one" that got away.......She's married. (insert visual of heart dropping 19 floors to the ground, splattering all over). Do not misunderstand, she is the one that got away, and I have accepted there is no realistic way to ever find that opportunity again. However, to know this, on my 27th Birthday, after just receiving a relatively destructive setback...........arrrgh!!!!!!
If I wasn't working I would be crying. Really. sob. Hard.
I've endured having a National Blackout on my birthday, and many years of complete non-existence but today, is a day that will be on my mind for the rest of my life. It epitomise how my life is one of the simple, normal person. Shit happens when you hope for a bright new day. Dream all you want, since reality only knows the opposite.
Nothing lasts forever.....Thank god. That's my only consolation when dealing with pain. Now, let's try to make it go away (Sorry, will pass any offers of alcohol and drugs. Will not substitute one pain with another).
**** ****
Setback eight:
At 5.20pm, 10 minutes from a quick exit out of my office building, I was required to perform a last minute task that would generally require 40-60 minutes to complete. Worse of all, I can't really know if that last minute task needs to be undertaken until 6pm! You have no idea how unhappy I was. I decided to go ahead and perform the task anyway in 7 minutes and hand the completed result to the person in charge, letting them decide on the final go/no go decision.
Setback nine:
What else can stp me from leaving my office at 5.30p sharp now? How about a false alarm at 5.27pm? The alarm rang all the way until 6pm, and despite several announcements that it was indeed a false alarm, unfortunately the alarms triggered the 'no-function' option on the lifts, making hundreds of people leaving the building via the staircases. I was on 19th floor..........
**** ****
I'd like to thank the 2 souls that help keep me going after lunch. While you didn't really change the chemical makup affected my internals during that period, you id help prevent further deterioration of my chemicals within.
Friday, July 29, 2005
And 72 hours was over
2 post in a single day! Hmmm, rarity..
To finish off the post I did about my, assignment at Langkawi, The 3rd Day was the most hectic off all. Morning meeting, lunch activities and Dinner by the beach required me to dso alot of work. I even had to delay lunch just to make sure the activity went on as planned. Not that lunch was very appetising anyway....
Dinner was a blast. It was a commemoration of Management who were leaving, or moving on, and it was done with such aplomb that no one voiced out their concern over the fact that dinner only got served at 10pm! Or, everyone was so polite they refused to interrupt proceedings. Note though, I felt so out of place during dinner I decided I'd vanish once I had enough food. So much for planning to leave before 10pm to watch Monday Night RAW (On Tuesday, 10pm Astro)! Left close to 11pm, but didn't watch TV anyway because I needed to be up the next day by 7am! The rest partied until 2am, I heard.....
Final day had another morning meeting, and I had to start ensuring everyone got to their flights on time. So only had some personal time like, after 2.30pm...Even then, all I did was to get a ride to town to do some meager shopping. Being Malaysian, there wasn't much I'd be interested to buy since I have seen all of it. Did buy a bottle of JD for RM 55! (Could have gotten it even cheaper, darn!)
At the end, I was given the responsibility to ensure the final check out price for the whole thing was correct...and the 32 people spent more than RM50K!
Overall, the hard work was quite fulfilling, not too much fun, but ultimately worth every second of my time. Now, to remember all the 32 person's names!
To finish off the post I did about my, assignment at Langkawi, The 3rd Day was the most hectic off all. Morning meeting, lunch activities and Dinner by the beach required me to dso alot of work. I even had to delay lunch just to make sure the activity went on as planned. Not that lunch was very appetising anyway....
Dinner was a blast. It was a commemoration of Management who were leaving, or moving on, and it was done with such aplomb that no one voiced out their concern over the fact that dinner only got served at 10pm! Or, everyone was so polite they refused to interrupt proceedings. Note though, I felt so out of place during dinner I decided I'd vanish once I had enough food. So much for planning to leave before 10pm to watch Monday Night RAW (On Tuesday, 10pm Astro)! Left close to 11pm, but didn't watch TV anyway because I needed to be up the next day by 7am! The rest partied until 2am, I heard.....
Final day had another morning meeting, and I had to start ensuring everyone got to their flights on time. So only had some personal time like, after 2.30pm...Even then, all I did was to get a ride to town to do some meager shopping. Being Malaysian, there wasn't much I'd be interested to buy since I have seen all of it. Did buy a bottle of JD for RM 55! (Could have gotten it even cheaper, darn!)
At the end, I was given the responsibility to ensure the final check out price for the whole thing was correct...and the 32 people spent more than RM50K!
Overall, the hard work was quite fulfilling, not too much fun, but ultimately worth every second of my time. Now, to remember all the 32 person's names!
Coping with depression
Sad to say, I must admit, I get depressed way to easily. Damn that chemical make-up. I use to deal with it rather extremely, either going ballistic or self destruct, or ignore it completely. It's time to face it head on.....Deal with it.
This time I was asked to not join a group for lunch. Something others would just shrug off, yet here I am, depressed. I know why I am depressed, the question is how do I deal with it? I have joined them many times for lunch, I guess probably not anymore....
I have long analysed that in any group of people, there will be 1 person (at least) who'd always be the fall guy. The guy everyone ignores, insults and bullies. Oh, they're rarely female. What I'd always hope was to not be that guy. Yet as I get on with life, I seem to play that role more and more often. Wherever I go, I seem to find myself trying to be in a group that I don't belong....or I don't know how.....
It doesn't help that I lack tact, and my inter-personal skills leaves a lot to be desired. And just when I thought I may have found a place that I belong, bang! Right in the face I get hit and I get left out again. Yes, I know how it feels. To be left out, all alone, when everyone thinks that you're weird and better left alone. I try to avoid doing the same to others as much as I can, unfortunately I admit, I make others feel the same way too. You reap what you sow?
So this thing, being outcast, isn't really others fault. There's no point keeping company of anyone that isn't really a company, so to speak. The onus truly lies on me. My inability to adapt results in me failing to connect. My inability to cope results in me trying to distance myself from others. Which basically comes down to the point, will I ever find home? A place to belong? I guess not, unless I change.
The question now is, how should I change? I've always hoped to get insomnia and reprogram how I think. Maybe that way I can start afresh and be less, alien. But that's wishful thinking. So what's more tangible, more reasonable?
I can't think of any now. But I do know it's time to cope with it and stop rebuilding walls to protect myself. If the walls are torn down, leave it down. Let pain walk right through it and learn to stand up again. Stop trying to resist this pain and try to condition myself to be tough enough to fend it off.
What's on my mind:
I have often dreamed, of a far off place
Where a hero's welcome, would be waiting for me
Where the crowds will cheer, when they see my face
And a voice keeps saying, this is where I'm meant to be
I'll be there someday, I can go the distance
I will find my way, if I can be strong
I know ev'ry mile, will be worth my while
When I go the distance, I'll be right where I belong
Down an unknown road, to embrace my fate
Though that road may wander, it will lead me to you
And a thousand years, would be worth the wait
It might take a lifetime, but somehow I'll see it through
And I won't look back, I can go the distance
And I'll stay on track, no, I won't accept defeat
It's an uphill slope, but I won't lose hope
Till I go the distance, and my journey is complete
But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part
For a hero's strength is measured by his heart
Like a shooting star, I will go the distance
I will search the world, I will face its' harms
I don't care how far, I can go the distance
Till I find my hero's welcome, waiting in your arms
I will search the world, I will face its harms
Till I find my hero's welcome, waiting in your arms
This time I was asked to not join a group for lunch. Something others would just shrug off, yet here I am, depressed. I know why I am depressed, the question is how do I deal with it? I have joined them many times for lunch, I guess probably not anymore....
I have long analysed that in any group of people, there will be 1 person (at least) who'd always be the fall guy. The guy everyone ignores, insults and bullies. Oh, they're rarely female. What I'd always hope was to not be that guy. Yet as I get on with life, I seem to play that role more and more often. Wherever I go, I seem to find myself trying to be in a group that I don't belong....or I don't know how.....
It doesn't help that I lack tact, and my inter-personal skills leaves a lot to be desired. And just when I thought I may have found a place that I belong, bang! Right in the face I get hit and I get left out again. Yes, I know how it feels. To be left out, all alone, when everyone thinks that you're weird and better left alone. I try to avoid doing the same to others as much as I can, unfortunately I admit, I make others feel the same way too. You reap what you sow?
So this thing, being outcast, isn't really others fault. There's no point keeping company of anyone that isn't really a company, so to speak. The onus truly lies on me. My inability to adapt results in me failing to connect. My inability to cope results in me trying to distance myself from others. Which basically comes down to the point, will I ever find home? A place to belong? I guess not, unless I change.
The question now is, how should I change? I've always hoped to get insomnia and reprogram how I think. Maybe that way I can start afresh and be less, alien. But that's wishful thinking. So what's more tangible, more reasonable?
I can't think of any now. But I do know it's time to cope with it and stop rebuilding walls to protect myself. If the walls are torn down, leave it down. Let pain walk right through it and learn to stand up again. Stop trying to resist this pain and try to condition myself to be tough enough to fend it off.
What's on my mind:
I have often dreamed, of a far off place
Where a hero's welcome, would be waiting for me
Where the crowds will cheer, when they see my face
And a voice keeps saying, this is where I'm meant to be
I'll be there someday, I can go the distance
I will find my way, if I can be strong
I know ev'ry mile, will be worth my while
When I go the distance, I'll be right where I belong
Down an unknown road, to embrace my fate
Though that road may wander, it will lead me to you
And a thousand years, would be worth the wait
It might take a lifetime, but somehow I'll see it through
And I won't look back, I can go the distance
And I'll stay on track, no, I won't accept defeat
It's an uphill slope, but I won't lose hope
Till I go the distance, and my journey is complete
But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part
For a hero's strength is measured by his heart
Like a shooting star, I will go the distance
I will search the world, I will face its' harms
I don't care how far, I can go the distance
Till I find my hero's welcome, waiting in your arms
I will search the world, I will face its harms
Till I find my hero's welcome, waiting in your arms
Monday, July 25, 2005
29 hours already?
And today passed....just like that.
Basically I was like an extra reception counter for my colleagues today. At least I manage to help get 4 persons on a diving excursion, 10 persons on a Mangrove tour (which all return extremely grateful to have gone), 4 on an afternoon tee-off (they must be nuts!) and several to the Spa. I think I'm gonna do that on Wednesday if I am still alive.
Met with the 'head' honcho today, and found him to me more down to earth than I expected. Even the next in command was just as nice. Again, who really knows when it's real? At least they are better at it compared to my immediate superiors.
There's about 30+ of them who make my company's regional management. And this, I observe are the common themes:
95% are married
95% do not smoke
95% are well travelled/loves travelling
80% are in their 40s.
So note to self:
1) You're too young to be that far ahead.
2) You're not Married.
3) You don't travel enough.
Till then, Dream the 10K salary a month......
Basically I was like an extra reception counter for my colleagues today. At least I manage to help get 4 persons on a diving excursion, 10 persons on a Mangrove tour (which all return extremely grateful to have gone), 4 on an afternoon tee-off (they must be nuts!) and several to the Spa. I think I'm gonna do that on Wednesday if I am still alive.
Met with the 'head' honcho today, and found him to me more down to earth than I expected. Even the next in command was just as nice. Again, who really knows when it's real? At least they are better at it compared to my immediate superiors.
There's about 30+ of them who make my company's regional management. And this, I observe are the common themes:
95% are married
95% do not smoke
95% are well travelled/loves travelling
80% are in their 40s.
So note to self:
1) You're too young to be that far ahead.
2) You're not Married.
3) You don't travel enough.
Till then, Dream the 10K salary a month......
Sunday, July 24, 2005
5 hours and counting
Arrived Langkawi at 5.45....Reached hotel at 6.15. Hotel looks cool, but has too much of a forest environment that, well, I am cool too with. That KL lifestyle just suites me best.
My room is rather huge....I can do an eight-man draft (For M:TG Players) or it can sleep 4 with sufficient bed and floor space. The shower passed the test (I am very paticular about hotel bathrooms, fyi) and I am happy with the bathroom. Will probably do the bathtub in 48 hours.
Thank god they had StarSports. Otherwise I'd have to miss next Tuesday's Monday Night RAW....And that ain't cool. Otherwise I don't think I'd be watching a lot of TV in the next few days.
Tomorrows agenda involves me setting up a hospitality booth for the other colleagues to use as information counter. Somehow that, for me, is better than a Mangrove tour....I need help!
5 hours gone....67 more to go.....I hope you have been praiyng for me!
My room is rather huge....I can do an eight-man draft (For M:TG Players) or it can sleep 4 with sufficient bed and floor space. The shower passed the test (I am very paticular about hotel bathrooms, fyi) and I am happy with the bathroom. Will probably do the bathtub in 48 hours.
Thank god they had StarSports. Otherwise I'd have to miss next Tuesday's Monday Night RAW....And that ain't cool. Otherwise I don't think I'd be watching a lot of TV in the next few days.
Tomorrows agenda involves me setting up a hospitality booth for the other colleagues to use as information counter. Somehow that, for me, is better than a Mangrove tour....I need help!
5 hours gone....67 more to go.....I hope you have been praiyng for me!
Saturday, July 23, 2005
Swept Away
Tomorrow I will be flying-off to Langkawi. Not too sure why I am there, but I guess following instructions, even in this day and age, is somewhat appreciated.
My company is holding a regional meet there. During it's inception, right until this Friday, I had known of the plans and played some parts to putting everything together. At least that's what the powers that be think. in my honest opinion, I only followed instructions per my role as an assistant. In my 1 1/2 years in that role, that was part of my job, so being awarded with the opportunity to join this meet was, well, unexpected?
Granted, I had thought of it before. They should send me so that someone can get everything in order while they have fun. I seem to like doing these selfless roles, I don't know why. Some hopeless way to be useful, maybe?
Anyway, now I am tasked with so little knowlede of my role over there, but I am goig there anyway. I don't believe my boss likes it, though when she told me of the news after lunch on Friday, she 'encouraged' me to go. Again, "learn from the est" I tell you. When receiving the news, I was so taken aback I failed to realise the mess was putting mysef into. Note: This Regional meet is meant for, bigger players of my company....To illustrate, if I am a cadet, everyone is at captain rank or higher.
Oh bull, wha I am talking about? I get a 3 day AEP (All Expense Paid) trip to Langkawi without having to take leave and I am complaining? Somebody shoot me....
If you read this, may I have a request? Pray that nothing bad happens this week...
Thanks!
My company is holding a regional meet there. During it's inception, right until this Friday, I had known of the plans and played some parts to putting everything together. At least that's what the powers that be think. in my honest opinion, I only followed instructions per my role as an assistant. In my 1 1/2 years in that role, that was part of my job, so being awarded with the opportunity to join this meet was, well, unexpected?
Granted, I had thought of it before. They should send me so that someone can get everything in order while they have fun. I seem to like doing these selfless roles, I don't know why. Some hopeless way to be useful, maybe?
Anyway, now I am tasked with so little knowlede of my role over there, but I am goig there anyway. I don't believe my boss likes it, though when she told me of the news after lunch on Friday, she 'encouraged' me to go. Again, "learn from the est" I tell you. When receiving the news, I was so taken aback I failed to realise the mess was putting mysef into. Note: This Regional meet is meant for, bigger players of my company....To illustrate, if I am a cadet, everyone is at captain rank or higher.
Oh bull, wha I am talking about? I get a 3 day AEP (All Expense Paid) trip to Langkawi without having to take leave and I am complaining? Somebody shoot me....
If you read this, may I have a request? Pray that nothing bad happens this week...
Thanks!
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
A repeat in History
That didn't happen. While things went down hill almost immediately after July 1st last year, things seems to have change, hopefully for the better this year. And to top it off, I haven't been depressed since May 1st...........hmmmmm.....
I wish I have more to write, but tentatively everything is underway, without anything being completed. Chances are, less than half of my 'journeys' will end positively for me, and while I hate the Sales theory of improved success with improved attempts, it seems that's what I'm heading as of this moment.
My RPGs took a halt, but are planned to be continued this weekend. My career (what career) seems to have halted as well, but then again I will need to want it enough for it to move again (basically I'm still waiting). My love life,......if any, is as before. With the difference that I now chose to spend time with people who I enjoy being with, even if there is no gurantee that I'll always enjoy their company, nor will I always have their company. I'll take whatever that I can get, thank you.
I now have a friend to go MPO (Malaysia Philharmonic Orchestra) with, so I no longer have to go alone. Yes, all things being equal, somethings just aren't meant to be done on one's own. Yet.
I still have some things I am still procrastinating.....Now that I'm at it, let's do a top 10 list (wow, that many??)
10. Own a house.
9. Sing aloud to crowds.
8. Pay off Study Loan.
7. Learn Mandarin
6. Go on diet.
5. Learn to drive & own a car.
4. Exercise!
3. Play the piano like a pro.
2. Find Sig-Other.
1. Start composing again.
The list is out...But will I do it?????????
I wish I have more to write, but tentatively everything is underway, without anything being completed. Chances are, less than half of my 'journeys' will end positively for me, and while I hate the Sales theory of improved success with improved attempts, it seems that's what I'm heading as of this moment.
My RPGs took a halt, but are planned to be continued this weekend. My career (what career) seems to have halted as well, but then again I will need to want it enough for it to move again (basically I'm still waiting). My love life,......if any, is as before. With the difference that I now chose to spend time with people who I enjoy being with, even if there is no gurantee that I'll always enjoy their company, nor will I always have their company. I'll take whatever that I can get, thank you.
I now have a friend to go MPO (Malaysia Philharmonic Orchestra) with, so I no longer have to go alone. Yes, all things being equal, somethings just aren't meant to be done on one's own. Yet.
I still have some things I am still procrastinating.....Now that I'm at it, let's do a top 10 list (wow, that many??)
10. Own a house.
9. Sing aloud to crowds.
8. Pay off Study Loan.
7. Learn Mandarin
6. Go on diet.
5. Learn to drive & own a car.
4. Exercise!
3. Play the piano like a pro.
2. Find Sig-Other.
1. Start composing again.
The list is out...But will I do it?????????
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